Marked
by bitchinblackframedglasses
Summary: Part II of Sarah Wimkil's story. She says goodbye to Ron, Harry and Hermione and goes home changed. The mark starts to distort her hold on reality, and she starts seeing strange dreams. Can she figure out what will happen 6th year before it is too late?
1. Chapter 1

1

_Two Weeks Later_

I sat cross-legged on my seat across from Hermione and Harry, staring out the window. The Hogwarts Express was snaking through the Scottish countryside, and the only noise in the compartment was Ron lightly snoring next to me. I had been trying to not stare at my hands in my lap, more importantly, the flesh toned bandage that hid the mark. It made me feel horrible- especially when I was alone. The uncontrollable moments where I lost my own character scared me and left me shaken for days afterward. "Will you wake Ron up, Sarah? We need to talk." Hermione suddenly said firmly, getting up and shutting the door to our compartment.

"Ron," I said quietly, and poked him in the arm, making him jerk up with a grunt.

"What's going on?" He asked quickly, his voice thick with sleep.

"This summer, we're going to be apart. We have to write." Hermione continued strongly.

"Yes. Everyday." I agreed distractedly. I didn't know if I was paranoid now, but I had always felt a dark presence around my friends. It was very small, and I was having trouble pinpointing it. It made me anxious- and it was hard to focus because of it.

"Especially you," Hermione said, pointing at Harry, "and you." She turned her finger to me.

"What?" Harry and I asked defensively at the same time.

"Both of you are like lightning rods for Dark activity. If anything happens, you'll probably know first." Hermione sighed, exasperated. "We have to keep in touch."

"Right," Harry said after a second, but I stayed quiet. I wondered how something big happening would affect me. According to Hermione, I was now restless when I slept at night. I hadn't felt much more of Bellatrix's mood swings lately- and I was dreading it happening again. I had thought about it over and over again- but I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when I changed from me and into her.

"Sarah?" A voice prompted, and I jumped at the noise. I had been staring out the window again, unconsciously rubbing the inside of my left wrist. Everyone was looking at me with slight curiosity. Usually I would have flushed, but my skin didn't heat. I was paler than usual now, and my face was always tight after an out-of-body experience. It let my friends read me like an open book. "Anything wrong?" Hermione asked carefully.

"No," I said quietly but firmly, shaking my head and going back to staring out the window. We were getting into London- the ride would be over soon. My parents would be waiting- and I wondered if they'd be hysterical with worry like a normal parent, or if they'd only be annoyed with the inconvenience of coming to get me like they always were. Before I knew it, the train had stopped, and was suddenly abuzz with noise as kids got their luggage to disembark.

"Here," Harry said, and reached up to easily lift down my trunk for me. I gave him a tiny smile as a thank you, moving to follow Hermione and Ron out, but Harry caught my wrist, making me shiver. He let go instantly, assuming that he'd set me off; but when he saw that I was fine, he closed the door again. "Even if you don't write to Hermione and Ron, I need you to write to me about anything you dream about or feel. If we both see something similar, they might be planning. The Order would need to know. _I'd_ want to know." Harry said, watching me closely. "I'm worried about you." He said brusquely when I looked down. "We all are. So please keep in touch." He pressed. For the first time in awhile, I looked at him right in the eyes and got a shock. The dark presence I had felt around my friends hadn't left, and yet Harry was the only one left in the room. It was coming from _him. _"Sarah, are you sure you're ok?" His voice brought me back to reality, and it was full with worry.

"Sarah, what's wrong?" Hermione's voice made me jump. Improvising on the spot, I grabbed my foot, letting my face twist with pain I didn't really feel.

"Nothing," I said with a shaky laugh. "I just rolled my trunk over my foot is all. Ready?" I tried to inject life into my voice; picking up the handle and following Hermione back out, heaving my trunk down the steps and onto the platform. Even if I was troubled and scared- I couldn't let it show so easily. It felt corny, but I was proud of my friends, and I didn't want to cause them anymore worry or harm. If I told myself that I'd be fine enough, maybe I'd start to believe it. We passed through the magical barrier as one, coming back to the Muggle world. Waiting for us was Tonks, Moody, Lupin, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and the twins, something I hadn't been expecting. As Mrs. Weasley attacked Harry with her hug, Moody gave my hand a firm shake, his magical eye whizzing over me, missing nothing.

"I'll see you soon, Wimkil." He growled, but it sounded more like a promise. I had forgotten that he was one of the Aurors that sometimes showed up at the Dueling Classes. "Dumbledore's asked me to make sure you stay right during the summer, and I-" Mrs. Weasley, someone I had never met before had just noticed me, and swooped down to give me a surprising hug, cutting Moody off and giving me a chance to hide my shock. Dumbledore was going to have me _watched?_

"You must be Mrs. Weasley," I said, feeling myself smile for the first time since I had left Hogwarts. Her personality was warm, friendly and infectious.

"Oh, look at you," she fussed, cupping my pale cheeks. Her hands were warm on my cold skin, and the heat made me feel lighter.

"Excuse me," My father's sharp voice cut through the air and I felt myself stiffen automatically, shutting down. Mrs. Weasley pulled away, looking offended.

"Hello, Father. Hello, Mother." I said lifelessly, stepping sideways to them when my Father beckoned. Both of them looked more austere and straitlaced than ever, their faces wearing identical scowls. "May I present Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus Lupin, Alastor Moody, Tonks, Fred and George Weasley, and my friends, Harry, Hermione, and Ron."

"We'll discuss this when we get home, Sarah. Now, gather your things. We're leaving." The ice over my Father's words hung in the air. I went to get them, but Hermione pulled me aside and hugged me, starting off a chain reaction of goodbyes. I shook hands with Lupin and Moody, both of whom were watching me carefully, was introduced hurriedly to Ron's father, and said goodbye to everyone else. In that time, my Mother had picked up Joe with a disgusted look on her face. She hated animals. I grabbed my trunk, and my Father immediately took my upper arm, pulling me away.

"I'll write." I said quickly over my shoulder before we were too far away for me to be heard. Everyone's faces were in deep scowls. I didn't want to leave them that way, but there was no arguing with my parents. The car ride home was silent, and when we got home, Father sat me on the loveseat and started to pace in front of the fireplace- not a good sign, as Mother sat opposite me. He must have paced for ten minutes before he spoke.

"Sarah Emma Wimkil, we demand to know what is going on. Your behavior has been _very_ irrational." Father rebuked me, ending his pacing and scowling at me. I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it, realizing I had no idea what to tell them. "_Well?"_ Father pressed.

"I offer my most sincere apologies to you both." I said softly, trying to slip into a more bombastic attitude- one that my parents seemed to enjoy more than my real personality. Lies came forth then, and it was far too easy to concoct new ones. "There was a security threat at the school this year- no one could get mail. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"And what about those paupers you were associating with?" Father sneered the word pauper, and I leapt to my feet, suddenly furious.

"That's enough. I'm tired of you analytical comments about my friends, people that I trust, people that I love. You were right about Danielle and Luke, but I had blinded myself to their true nature because I thought I needed them. I don't now. I'm friends with better people, people who are brave, smart, funny, and are incredibly kind. I don't care how they look or how poor they are." The words poured out of me with ease- all the anger I had stored at my parents was free now, and their shocked faces only made me angrier. From even deeper inside, anger came from a source I couldn't trace. "Now, those kind souls you mentioned were there to see one of my friends back home. He's an orphan." I snapped, furious. "_Professors _Lupin and Moody are highly respectable wizards and brave men who have done more than you could imagine. Fred and George have started their own business from scratch. Tonks is what you could call an investigator, and she saves _lives._ Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are the kindest, most accepting people I know. Harry's parents were murdered when he was a child, Ron's you already know about, and Hermione's parents are 'normal' like you. So don't you dare judge them." I finished my rant, suddenly devoid of energy.

Mother just blinked, as still as a statue, and Father was red in the face, spluttering. "Now, if you'd kindly excuse me, I'm tired from the journey home." With those words, I picked up my trunk and Joe's cage again and went to my room, closing the door behind me. Truly weary, I simply put the trunk at the foot of my bed, let Joe out onto his stand and sat heavily on the edge of my bed, head in my hands. I still felt ill and cold and I knew that being alone this summer wouldn't help at all. I'd go to dueling classes, but that wasn't enough. Even worse, I couldn't use magic except for during the classes. I'd have to be around my parents for necessities, and the interaction wouldn't be very nice. I was just about to swing into bed when a knock on my door startled me. "Come in," I said, and Mother appeared in the doorway.

"Sarah, I have to ask you…with that security breach at your school this year…did anything…happen?" She asked, twisting her hands nervously.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked, confused.

"Sarah, your father and I have noticed some changes in you that worry us. You seem very…moody." She finished, and I almost laughed bitterly. For a second, I thought that they actually cared.

"I'm fine," I said, my voice dead but coated with ice. "Thank you for your concern." My mother nodded, looking unsure, and closed the door again. I lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I stayed perfectly still until the room started to darken as the sun set, and then all I did was take off my glasses and undo my braid so that I could sleep comfortably. I rolled onto my side, staring at the wall before I closed my eyes, trying to rest…

"_The preparations have been made, Cissy. It is an honor for him to serve." I was standing behind a couch, watching the silhouette of a very distraught woman lean against the mantle of a roaring fireplace. _

"_It's too dangerous." The woman croaked, her face hidden in shadow._

"_He is worthy, and the Dark Lord has need of him. You should be proud, Cissy, proud!" I raised my voice, trying to cheer her, but deep down, I was annoyed. My sister had always been weak in the regard of her loved ones. Why she would ever hesitate on this matter astounded me. The lack of disloyalty would have her cowering before the Dark Lord if she wasn't careful. _

"_He's my only son!" The woman sobbed, burying her face into her hands. "You know what the consequences are if he fails, Bella! I can't let that happen." _

"_If it gets the Dark Lord closer to murdering Potter and Dumbledore, then you should let it happen, Cissy." My voice turned sharp and my hand closed around the top of the couch in fury. "Don't be weak, Cissy. Stand for what you believe in." _

I jerked out of bed with a gasp when something nipped at my shoulder, _hard._ I snatched my glasses and my wand, intent on finding my attacker. When the world came into view, I immediately lowered my wand with a groan. It was only Joe, sitting on my alarm clock, his head cocked to the side. Weariness hit me anew, and I dropped my wand on the floor and brought my hand up to my head, which was pounding. I had been somewhere, and I was angry with someone, a woman…but that woman was scared for someone else, her son was going to be a Death Eater... I started and swore when Joe nipped me again. "What?" I asked, shakily getting out of bed, trying not to dwell on the dream. Once out of bed, I saw that a snowy white owl was perched on my windowsill. I hastily crossed to the window and opened it, letting the owl come in, who I recognized as Hedwig, Harry's owl. "Sorry," I apologized to her, my fingers trembling so hard, it took me a moment to get the scroll off her. Hedwig then settled down next to Joe, looking content now that she had fulfilled her mission. I unwound the scroll, head still pounding, and read Harry's message.

_Sarah,_

_I know that it's only the first day of break, but everyone is worried about you. We can all tell that the mark is trying to change you, and yesterday on the train, when I touched you- it scared me. I don't want to cause you anymore pain, I've done enough damage. And then, when we were off the platform, it's like you were numb. Your parents certainly didn't help the situation. I hope that they weren't too angry with you for not writing them last year, and that they aren't giving you too hard of a time. But my main point is that we all want to make sure you're ok. I know that Dumbledore said you could write to him if you need to, and don't hold back. If you've felt or dreamed something important, he'd want to know. Nothing's happened to my scar yet- but I'll message you if it does, and you should do the same with your mark. Keep in touch._

_Harry_

Trying to keep my wits, I sat down at my desk after digging out a quill and parchment to write a reply.

_Harry,_

_Harry, how many times do I have to tell you that none of this is your fault? On the train, you didn't hurt me at all, just surprised me. I know my parents made everything worse, and I'm sorry for that. They apparently thought you lot were, and I quote, 'paupers.' I actually chewed them out for that. In all honesty, I'm fine, just tired from the train ride home. Dueling Classes start later today and I'll see Moody then- he'll always check up on me. But you should know, I had a dream last night. I can't remember much of it; all I know is that Bellatrix was trying to comfort someone, a woman; that woman was sad because her son was going to be made into a Death Eater. I can't remember any names, and it could be anyone. If I see anything more about it, I'll let you know. _

_Sarah_

Letting out a deep breath, I rolled up the parchment and gave it back to Hedwig. I gave her a good drink of water and some food before I sent her off again, wishing that some of my anxiety was leaving with her.


	2. Chapter 2

2

Sarah POV

I went downstairs only when I had to. My parents had watched me go to Dueling Classes yesterday with blank faces, and when I returned, they were sleeping. Moody had questioned me thoroughly when I got to classes, and his concern was refreshing; it made me feel much better. Coming home was like a slap to the face. Most of my time was spent in my room, staring at books, not really reading them. I'd go to Dueling, tell Moody I felt fine, and then I'd duel like I was a machine. I felt no joy in doing it anymore, no frustration or determination when I'd lose, and no satisfaction when I won. I'd read my friends letters, and I'd write back- but I purposely wrote overly cheerful letters that I knew didn't fool them. Harry hadn't felt anything, and he eventually stopped asking me if I'd had any moments when I kept turning him down. I hated the time when I was awake, but I started to loathe sleep- and I avoided doing so as much as possible. My parents were waking me up every other night complaining about my nightmares. According to them, I'd scream, cry, or laugh almost every night. I knew I was eating less, but I didn't have the energy to correct myself. So I sat in my room, staring at the opposite wall, drowning on nothing. Then I was fighting off sleep again, watching the shadows change on the walls, but I knew I'd have to give in eventually. My lids were getting lower no matter how I fought against them…

_I was laughing, elated. He had been brought into the ranks, despite Cissy's reluctance, and now, with her son as a Death Eater, we'd take over Hogwarts, murder Potter and Dumbledore, and restore the world to our order. My cackling got louder, a bit more crazed, as my Dark Mark burned, not for me to be summoned, but with the Dark Lord's pleasure, something I could live off of, it was so intoxicating._

_Now all I had to do was hunt down the student I'd marked. She would fit perfectly into the Dark Lord's plans; she would be helpless to resist…_

"ENOUGH!" A voice bellowed, and something hard hit my face, jerking me awake with a scream. The room was light, even though the windows showed it was night. Mother was cowering the doorway while Father stood over me, looking mortified. I sat up quickly and he took a step back. The inside of my left wrist burned strongly, and my headache was back, synchronized with the frantic pounding of my heart. The side of my face stung where Father had struck it. "What is this? Is it the devil?" Father demanded, his voice terrible.

"N-No, it's not the d-devil," I heard myself stammer, trying to discreetly wrap my hand around the mark, my cold skin soothing the burning for only moments.

"I don't believe you. We can see how you're wasting away under his presence, the deformities on your hands are only proof!" Father roared.

"What deformities?" I asked, looking down, but Father snatched my hands before I could look. Then he pointed out _I must not tell lies._

"The Devil has bound your tongue with his spirit, hasn't he? And then there's _this-_ he wrestled my left hand over, revealing the skull, which seemed to pulse under my eyes with my headache and heart, making me feel colder than ever. Father jerked away, apparently feeling the change in temperature, trembling with rage.

"I am not possessed, Father." I worked to sound calm. He'd assumed that I was the Devil's child before, and the last time he went mad. I didn't want that to happen again.

"You were laughing tonight, in your sleep, like an insane old crone! You've been crying, screaming, shouting- you name it! Sometimes you even switch languages, and I know that you are doing the devil's work! Ever since we sent you to that _school._" He sneered the word, but I felt no anger towards him, only at myself for what I'd allowed to happen.

"Listen to me. I'm not possessed. You should not be concerned." I said harshly, whipping back the covers and getting out of bed. Father took another step back, joining Mother in the doorway. Self hatred was filling me to the brim- I couldn't even maintain my integrity anymore. "Now, please leave." At my request, Mother quickly pulled Father away and shut the door, too frightened to argue with me. Only when they'd left did I feel myself shivering, quaking with fright. The Death Eaters had someone on their side now, someone charged with the task of killing Harry and Dumbledore. But who, where, and when? And how did Bellatrix think I could be involved? "Paper," I murmured to myself, turning on the spot, suddenly frantic for parchment. I had to write to Harry about this. I hadn't written to him in awhile, and I knew I was long overdue on writing back to him and everyone else. I threw myself around the room, looking for a quill until I finally found one. Sitting heavily at the desk, I began to write, my trembling hand marring my perfect cursive.

_Harry,_

_I just had a dream- a follow up to the one dream I had earlier, you remember? That woman's son is a Death Eaterr know-now- and his mission is to kill you and Dummbledore. I don't know when or where, or who is goinng to do it, but she was laughing, and so was I, laughing, cackiling, and I didn't know I was doing it until my parents woke me up. I- They think I'm ppossesed, and **I don't know if I am or nott. **But Bellatrix thought I could-don't worry. _

_Sarah_

I couldn't think, I couldn't finish the letter, couldn't fix my mistakes. My hands were shaking too hard, and I my mind was too disorganized to finish the thoughts. "Joe," I croaked, and he flew over, awoken by my apparent crazy laughter. "I k-know it's late, but take this to H-Harry, alright? Harry." I instructed, and he ruffled his wings, looking at me almost with concern, or maybe I was crazy after all. He took off without having to be asked, and vanished quickly into the blackness. Out of energy now, I slowly crossed the room and curled up into a ball on my bed, shaking, trying to calm down. Despite trying to fight it, hysteria kept in a ball for a long time until my body made me fall asleep again…

"_Cissy, wait!" I called, scrambling down a street. Slightly lopsided brick houses lined the road, and I could barely see Cissy in their shadows, running like a fool. I caught up to her and held her arm to keep her still. "Cissy, the Dark Lord has forbidden you to speak of it! You can't trust him!"_

"_Let me go, Bella." Cissy said in a low voice, pulled herself free, and kept on, turning down the streets, ignoring me behind her until she pulled up to _his _house. She knocked hurriedly. After a moment, the door opened-_

"Yes, Father, please come in," Mother's voice downstairs jerked me out of sleep. Disoriented, I felt moisture on my face and a kink in my back. I was still curled in a ball on my bed, and my chest felt tight- my eyes burning. I had been crying, sobbing, and I was out of breath now. The dream seemed fainter as the voices downstairs got louder.

"She's been crying for the past half hour, and I couldn't wake her- she's been sleeping for _days_. She's also been screaming, laughing, chanting-" Mother broke off as an unfamiliar voice talked over her.

"Where is her room?" A gentle voice asked. Footsteps headed for my room, and I hurriedly shoved spell books and magical artifacts out of sight, just stuffing Joe's cage under the bed as my door creaked open. A _priest_ was in the doorway, looking cautious, Mother hovering anxiously behind him. I knew that I usually would have laughed at this, but I couldn't feel. "Sarah?" The priest asked, stepping into the room.

"C-can I help you, Father?" I asked, hastily wiping tears off my face, trying to seem composed. Inside, I felt something roar with laughter, as if they were amused with the presence of the priest. Before I could reflect on it, the priest spoke.

"That depends," the man said carefully. "Do you know the day? The time? Where you are?" He asked.

"Today is J-July twenty fifth. It's Wednesday." I glanced at my clock. "It's 2 in the afternoon, and I'm in my house." I felt my stomach dropped as I looked at the _date _on my clock. It wasn't even July anymore; it was _August, _August first. I had missed classes for today. Frowning, I realized that the last time I'd known what day it was had been over a weeks ago. _Had I been going to classes?_

"That's fine. Now, have you felt a presence, Sarah? Do you feel the devil in you? Have you seen him?" The priest asked, hiding his reaction to my incorrect assumption of the date very well. I felt my eyes flash with inexplicable anger at his idea that I was possessed. He took a step back.

"This is foolishness. I have not been possessed by the Devil, what is this, the Salem Witch Trials? My emotions have just gotten the better of me. I assure you, I am my own person. Your services are not required. You should not be concerned." I repeated the phrase I had been using all summer to get my parents to back off. The priest turned around and left, motioning Mother after him. As soon as they were gone, I shut the door then looked to the window. Sure enough, Joe, Hedwig, and Ron's tiny owl flitted back into view, along with another owl, one I didn't recognize. I silently opened the window and they landed on my desk in a line, lifting their legs. I took Joe's first, force of habit, and opened it.

_Sarah,_

_You need to write to Dumbledore. I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but it's out of my hands. If you don't, I will. _

_Harry_

His handwriting was fast and furious, as if he'd been in a rush. I could picture him sending it quickly and waiting impatiently for a reply, and when he didn't get one, he probably had gotten even more worried. I crumpled the letter, throwing it in my trash, taking Hedwig's letter.

_Sarah,_

_No one's heard from you. Have you written to Dumbledore? You're starting to scare us. If you don't reply to this, Ron's going to write you; we'll be out of owls. We've asked Mr. Weasley to talk to Moody, but you haven't been showing up to classes. Please write back._

_Harry_

I threw that one away too, and took the letter from Ron's excited little owl and unrolled it.

_Sarah_

_What the bloody hell is going on? You've got us all really worried, Dad's talked to Moody- and they'll be writing Dumbledore. No one's checked on you in awhile, and we know how you get when you're alone, that **thing** takes you over. Write back or Hermione's head just might explode from worry._

_Ron_

I threw his away too, robotically reaching for the unfamiliar owl.

_Ms. Wimkil,_

_You've neglected to attend Dueling for the past **three** weeks. If you are absent for the next meeting, we will have to suspend your position and you will not receive a refund. _

_Sincerely, _

_Dueling for Minors, M.O.M._

I forcefully threw away the letter from the Ministry, suddenly full of rage. First my parents call back a priest to see if I need an exorcism, then this? "Get. Go on!" I shouted at the owls waiting for my reply. Only the Ministry owl flew away, but Hedwig and Pig stubbornly remained. "Here," I snarled, ripping a book end out of a _Magical Beasts and Where to Find Them_ at a weird angle_. _

_**I'm fine.**_

Was all I scrawled, before slamming the quill down and shoving the paper in the bird's general direction. When they took off, I shut the window with a _crash,_ my chest heaving with anger. Rage was making my blood sing; I was seeing red. All of these filthy mudbloods and traitors were bothering me, _how dare they?_ I stormed out of my room and down the steps. My parents were talking in the kitchen, looking worried, and leapt out of their seats when they saw me. "Why did you call a _priest?_ Do you think I'm demented, not perfect enough to have come from you!" I roared, hands in fists.

"Sarah, you're sick. We've called a doctor." Father said stiffly, and I heard myself laugh bitterly, with just a hint of craziness to it.

"I don't need a _doctor._ He can't do jack shit for me." I snarled, suddenly wishing I had my wand. My parents really weren't that important to anyone, I should kill them on the spot for acting like _I_ wasn't pure. Bastards.

"Sarah, you're ill. We know that you don't mean to say such things. We'll make sure that you won't have to go back to that school. That's obviously what's afflicting you." Mother said sadly, and I picked up a vase on the counter next to me and threw it at the fridge, where it exploded into thousands of tiny pieces, making Mother shriek and Father jerk, as if he was going to approach me but thought better of it. I could feel my whole frame vibrating with anger.

"I have to go back to Hogwarts. Don't call anyone here to help me, Muggles can't. There's nothing you can do but wait until I don't have to mess up your lives anymore." I spat before charging back up into my room, slamming the door so hard, it rattled on its hinges…

**OoOoOoO**

Slowly, I turned my head away from the wall to look at my clock. It was 12:30. I had stayed up all night, refusing to sleep, determined to go to classes again. They started at 1, and I had to get there on the Underground, so I'd need to leave now. Methodically, I changed clothes, grabbed my wand and left the house without saying a word. The ride on the Underground was short, and before I knew it, I was flushing myself into the Ministry, heading for the highest floor. As I stepped out of the lift, I could hear that class was just about to start, so I slipped inside. The room was the same, large, empty, with light brown wooden floors and white walls. Two large magical windows showed that it was sunny outside. "Glad you could join us!" An unfamiliar teacher smiled at me, and I just looked away, feeling like something was wrong. Someone was supposed to be here, but who? "Ok guys, divide into pairs, and let's get dueling!" The teacher called enthusiastically, and I saw her sidle off and cast a Patronus message to someone, instantly losing her sunny demeanor.

"Hey, Wimkil. Nice to see you weren't too chicken to come back." A voice taunted me, and I turned. This stupid kid, Nick, I thought his name was, had been after me since the beginning. "Wanna duel, or are you too scared?" He mocked. He was a seventh year this year, and a Hufflepuff, which meant he wasn't too bright.

"Fine," I heard myself say softly, and I walked the seven paces back and raised my wand. He started the duel, and for awhile, I simply held him at bay, playing him, tiring him out.

"Is that the best you can do?" He panted a laugh, and I retaliated sharply, deep hatred sparking from his comment. If he thought he could even compete with _me_, someone pure, he was wrong. I drew my wand around, sending spells at him; his filthy blood daring to challenge me. With three huge slashes with my wand, I beat him down to his knees, and then disarmed him with a harsh flick of my wand, a roaring filling my ears as I raised my wand, ready to end his miserable life-

"_Expelliarmus!"_ A voice growled, and my wand flew out of my hand. I whirled on the spot, full of fury, and found Moody. My eyes met his, and that's when it all fell into place, all of my anger vanished. The world flickered for a second as I came back to myself, and any color in my face drained. What was happening to me? _What had I done? _I whirled back around to see Nick cowering on the floor, his eyes full of fear. The rest of the class was standing around in shock, and the person I finally recognized as the student teacher looked horrified. Then I was running, dashing out of the hall, not caring that I didn't have my wand, I just had to get away. Facts were falling into place, filling strange gaps in my memory. I had known that Marchbanks wasn't teaching it this year due to a surprise illness, and that there was a student teacher. I was supposed to have known that Moody would be there everyday to see if I was being possessed. The letters and owls I had been getting were from my poor friends who probably thought I had fallen off the face of the earth- and it felt like I had, things had happened that I remembered but didn't remember doing- I tripped running down the hallway to the lift and caught myself on the wall then slid down it, hugging my knees, feeling tears streaming down my face. I was shuddering, scared that I had lost myself that much without even realizing it. I put my head down, trying to stifle sobs. "Sarah," Moody's voice growled, and I lifted my head to see him standing a few feet away, his magical eye whizzing over me. "Let me see the mark," he said, and all I had to do was hold out my arm. I had neglected myself so badly that I hadn't even covered it up. His eye raked over it, then over me again.

"This whole summer," I croaked, "I didn't even feel it, didn't even _know._" I buried my face back into my knees.

"It's alright now, Sarah. Stand up now, there you go." Moody lifted me by the scruff and put me back on my feet. "Now, listen. Tell me your address, we will get your things. You need to speak with Dumbledore- I'll take you to him. Come on, now. Here," he held my wand out to me, but I took a step back, shaking my head.

"I was doing magic I d-didn't even know, Dark Magic. I can't. I c-can't risk it. No." I stammered, and Moody slid my wand into his pocket.

"Come on then, your address." He pushed calmly, but his eye didn't stop whizzing over me. I spit it out as he escorted me out of the Ministry, and he Apparated me back home. I went in without knocking and started upstairs, Moody clunking behind me, when Father and Mother appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Mother, Father, I'm l-leaving." I said lifelessly, even when I had to step back as they came down the stairs.

"You aren't going anywhere with that man. We're taking you to the hospital." Father said, trying to seem impressive, but his uncertainty gave him away.

"I've told you, they c-can't help me. Look," I extended my wrist at them, letting see the mark again. It was darker than usual, a horrid mark on my skin. "This is the mark of a curse, alright? I've been cursed. Professor M-Moody is taking me back to the wizarding world to try to relieve its affects. I'm leaving."


	3. Chapter 3

3

Sarah POV

"I'll be packing, Professor." I said softly, stepping past my parents and walking upstairs. Now that I had been 'awakened' from my previous state, I could see just how messy my room was. I packed hurriedly though, haunted by what I'd done in this room, wanting out. Now that I was thinking clearly, I compared what had happened to me to the Imperious Curse. Bellatrix's possession had been slow and careful, so careful, in fact, I hadn't even noticed it. Trying to stick to what I liked, school, friends, I tried to think of anything to take my mind off of what had just happened. The last thing I did was rip a rectangle off my sheet and tie it hastily around my wrist, unable to look at the mark any longer. Then I carried my trunk and Joe downstairs. Moody was talking quietly with my parents, and he looked troubled, whereas my parents were stunned.

"Ready to go then, eh? Excellent. Come along then," Moody said, suddenly business like, urging me out. I didn't bother to say goodbye to my parents, instead, I let Moody shrink my luggage, then hand me a slip of paper. "Read it, memorize it, never tell it to another living soul. Got it?" Moody growled. I scanned the slip of paper. It was an address for a Grimmauld Place. "Good." He plucked it from my fingers and burned it on the sidewalk, then Apparated us away. We appeared on a dark, dingy street, and as I looked up, I saw the address I had just read appear out of two buildings. Before I could ask, Moody ushered me inside. I blinked. The place was dark and slightly musty, with dingy lights trying to take away from the gloom. Waiting by the door was Professor Lupin, who looked a lot worse than the last time I'd seen him. He looked much thinner, and his clothes were even shabbier than ever. The last time we'd seen each other was at King's Cross, and that felt like a lifetime ago.

"Sarah!" He exclaimed in surprise, taking me in, even as Moody pushed me further down the hall as he came in.

"Hello, Professor," I said softly. Before I got another word out, Moody was urging me down the hall into an open, stone kitchen. It was full of Order members, some that I recognized, some that I didn't. As Moody's loud clunking leg announced our arrival, the sound died instantly.

"Is Dumbledore here yet?" Moody asked, and he sounded surprisingly strained.

"He's coming." A short, plump woman said, looking me up and down, looking horror struck, which only confused me. Moody had looked troubled, and now sounded strained, when he never lost his gruff manner. Lupin had been shocked to see me, and now this?

"Sit," Moody insisted, pushing me to a chair and into it. "You lot, come on," he barked, and most of the members left, Tonks giving me a quick hello on her way out, her face somewhere between pity and sadness, which turned my confusion into fear.

"Can I get you anything?" A voice made me jump. I hadn't realized that someone was still in the room. In fact, I hadn't even noticed him, Sirius Black, lounging against the kitchen counter, his eyes tight as he looked at me. He looked furious. "You should have something," he said, almost muttering to himself, Summoning a kettle and a mug and pouring me a cup of tea.

"What's wrong?" I asked, and he looked at me sharply before looking even more miserable than before.

"No offense, but you look like hell. It's sickening that I let happen what happened to you." Sirius said through clenched teeth, standing stiffly behind the chair opposite me. I opened my mouth to speak, but Sirius kept going, looking slightly tortured. "I was dueling her, and I let her get to me. If I had kept her at bay…," he ended his sentence with a hopeless gesture towards my left wrist.

"Mr. B-Black, Sirius," I quickly amended, seeing a change in his expression, "you can't accept responsibility for this. The only one responsible is…is her." I stammered, wrapping my hands around the tea, even though I felt too queasy to drink it as I thought about Bellatrix, and, more importantly, the dreams I'd seen, which were even fuzzier now that I as mostly myself again.

"But the price you've paid…it's…wrong." Sirius struggled for the right words, and I looked at him, only confused, when someone knocked on the doorframe to the kitchen. It was Professor Lupin, with the same look on his face as Sirius, which made my heart beat faster. _What _did they see in me now that I hadn't seen?

"Dumbledore is here," Lupin said after a moment, and I stood up, taking the tea when Sirius insisted, following Lupin up two flights of stairs and into what looked like a very old office. As soon as I stepped over the threshold it was as if a great weight had been lifted off of me. Dumbledore had been seated in an armchair, but stood up as Lupin gently ushered me in and closed the door. Dumbledore looked furious, his eyes burning in his face.

"Hello, P-Professor," I said, and his face almost got darker, and he made motions for me to sit, so I did, taking a sip of the tea. Its heat made me feel even better.

"Sarah, something very grave has happened to you," Dumbledore said finally, sounding very controlled. "Both Harry, Ms. Granger, the Weasley family, and Moody have written to me this summer, expressing concern about you, however, I did not receive a single word from you. And now I see why."

"Professor- I'm not exactly sure what h-happened. But I can tell you what I can." I offered, and Dumbledore motioned with his hand for me to continue. "I started having d-dreams, sir. About Bellatrix, about what she does from day to day. I feel better whenever I'm with good company, especially you. I was alone for so long, and…I didn't even notice I'd changed until this afternoon. I went to class and I was partnered with someone. He said something to me, and I nearly _killed_ him. I used magic I d-didn't know existed. It's like I was her." I quickly looked back at my tea, unable to stand the look on Dumbledore's face. I could have sworn that there was a slight dampness to his eyes, but I must have imagined it, for when I looked at him again, it was gone.

"And can you tell me what you've seen in these dreams?" Dumbledore asked gently, and I looked back at the tea, trying to think. Everything seemed so disconnected and far away.

I felt my eyes close as I racked my brains, trying to remember even what dream came first. A spark of anger ignited in me when I was remembering things that I should have known instantly- Bellatrix had destroyed my last sacred place- my head.

"The first dream was of two women. Bellatrix, well, me, was referred to as 'Bella' by someone I called 'Cissy.' The woman was scared and sad that her son was going to become a Death Eater." I opened my eyes to find Dumbledore looking at me strangely. He hid the look quickly though, leaning forward slightly, pressing his fingertips together.

"The second dream was just me, I mean, her, laughing. She was happy, this person 'Cissy' was so worried about was a Death Eater. She was confident that this new Death Eater would ensure that a plan to kill you and Harry would succeed this year, and that I would help in that." My voice shook as I said the word 'kill', and I grasped the tea tighter, afraid to look up and see Dumbledore again. I couldn't ever picture him not in this world, nor could I ever cope with Harry being murdered. "My final dream was of the woman 'Cissy' on a street called Spinner's End. She was going to see someone that Bellatrix thought she couldn't trust. The door of the house they went to was opening when my mother's voice woke me up." I said, and I noticed that Dumbledore had stiffened slightly, but I didn't know what to think of it, so I ignored it.

"So you did not see who lived at Spinner's End?" He asked, and I shook my head at the tea. "Sarah, Moody talked to your parents and then briefed me and the members of the Order as to what's been going on, and I think I can think of something that may help." He said, and I looked back up, slightly ashamed. My parents probably raved to Moody about what had been happening in my sleep- and for everyone to know that was embarrassing. "It seems that when you sleep, and when Bellatrix sleeps, your minds tend to fall into each other's, producing those dreams. Unfortunately, she might have seen things you were doing, but now that you are 'in good company', I doubt she can see you." He said, seeing my alarm. If she ever knew about Grimmauld Place… "However, if you closed your mind before you went to sleep, it'd be harder for her actions to translate into your dreams."

"You mean Occlumens." I whispered, my stomach twisting at the thought, and Dumbledore nodded. "I-I don't think I could do it, sir."

"I wish for you to at least try, Sarah. I cannot allow what happened to you this summer to happen again. The effect on you is far too detrimental." Dumbledore said lightly, but there was a hardness to his words that reminded me of the fact that everyone seemed to think that something was wrong with me.

"I'll try. But if I have anymore dreams, should I tell you of them?" I asked, and Dumbledore seemed to hesitate.

"If you are comfortable, then yes." Was his answer, and he stood up and kept talking before I could question him on it. "Now, I think the best place for you would be at the Burrow, Mr. Weasley's house. They can get you to Hogwarts, and I daresay that your friends are most anxious to speak with you." He lightly put a hand on my back, gently guiding me out and back down the steps. "May I?" he asked, his hand lightly taking my left, and I then noticed his hand was blackened and brittle, as if it was burned and now dead. I hesitated. The last time he had seen it, he was trying to remove it, and I had instantly lost myself to Bellatrix.

"Yes," I forced out, and he lightly undid the section of sheet, handing it to me, then cautiously turning my left hand over. His gaze fell upon the skull and I felt my whole body tense as the mark began to burn, but I tried not to flinch, seeing as Dumbledore looked very curious. His finger brushed it, and in a knee jerk reaction, I gasped and pulled my hand away, my hand curling into a fist. It was as if Bellatrix knew who was near me; the mark burned with anger she probably felt towards Dumbledore.

"I'm sorry," Dumbledore apologized, a strange tone to his voice, and he straightened, leaving me slightly dazed as the pain died away. Order members were standing silently against the walls and in doorways, watching us with furious eyes, and I knew the anger wasn't directed at either of us, but to the still burning mark on my skin. My fist slowly uncurled as the burning diminished further. "Here," Dumbledore plucked the sheet out of my fingers and tied it securely back around my wrist. Before I could react, he hand was to my back again, lightly leading me over to Professor Lupin, who was standing next to his friend, Sirius. Both of their expressions made me wonder once again why everyone was seeing something in me. "Remus will take you to the Burrow. I must return to Hogwarts. If you need to speak to me for any reason, do not hesitate to come to me. I will notify you when I want you to start Occlumency." He spoke quickly now, backing away, seeing the pain in my face no matter how hard I tried to hide it. Then he turned and strode away, out the door, and I heard him Disapparate before the door had swung shut. He was gone, and the new flare up was dying, but the weight was back on my shoulders now that he was farther away.

"Are you feeling alright? I'll take you tomorrow if you need to rest." Lupin sounded worried, making me come back to the moment, looking away from his chest region, frozen in thought, and up at his face. I could feel myself trembling again, which was probably what was worrying him. I shook my head.

"I can leave now," I said very quietly, even though I probably should have rested. "Goodbye," I almost whispered when Sirius suddenly shook my hand firmly.

"Take care," he spit out, his face aflame with anger again, and I turned away when Lupin guided me. He took my shrunken luggage from Moody, steering me out the door.

"Steady," Lupin said, and then we Apparated. I was now standing almost in a field, a very lopsided and obviously magical house yards away.

"Are you ok, Professor?" I asked, noticing how he looked even worse outside. I looked up and realized it was almost a full moon, no wonder. He blinked, looking surprised.

"Don't worry about me, Sarah." He said, an odd tone to his voice as he led me to the door and knocked before I could say anything else.

"Who's there? Declare yourself!" A voice demanded with slight nervousness, but I recognized the voice as Mrs. Weasley.

"It is I, Remus, bringing Sarah." Lupin said, and the door swung open instantly. Mrs. Weasley was drying her hands on an apron, and she started at the sight of me, and I almost flinched before she ushered us in.

"You gave me such a fright, Remus, we didn't expect- oh dear, Sarah, you look in a right state, oh for Merlin's sake," She said nervously, bidding me to sit. "Will you stay for something, Remus? We just finished dinner, everyone's upstairs."

"I'm afraid I can't." Lupin said with a hint of a smile, but his face still looked tight, despite his aura of calm. "Molly, Sarah, goodnight." He left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Now dear, here, eat. You'll feel better," she urged, waving her wand and in no time giving me a steaming bowl of onion soup. I sipped it slowly, even more exhausted than before. My stomach was still in knots over my talk with Dumbledore. "That's alright, you go on upstairs now, all the way to the top." Mrs. Weasley said, seeing that I had stopped eating with half the soup left. She was wringing her hands, avoiding my gaze.

"Thank you," I said softly before getting up and following her instructions, all the way up the stairs. The door I stopped at had a small plaque that said: 'Ronald's Room'. 'Blimey, I'm tired,' I heard Ron say, and I felt a twitch of a smile on my face as I opened the door and slipped inside.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Harry POV

I sat on the edge of my campbed, watching Hermione reading a book on Dark Magic, her eyes flashing quickly down each page, and Ron, stumping around his room, having to duck now that he had gotten even taller. "Blimey, I'm tired," he muttered, rubbing at his eyes, dropping onto his bed when the door opened and _Sarah_ stepped in. The sight of her made my heart clench. She looked cadaverous, with a tight, ghostly pale, gaunt face. She looked as if she'd lost weight, and considering she'd been fairly skinny last year, it made her look bony and frail. Her hair was unbraided, hanging limply down, and her eyes looked lifeless. As she closed the door, I noticed that she was trembling slightly, and that her hands were actually shaking. A strip of white cloth was tied around her left wrist. She looked beaten and neglected; there was no spark of her personality in her appearance at all, and it made me angrier than I could say. "Hi," she said softly, almost a whisper, breaking the silence. Hermione bolted, dropping her book and embracing Sarah, almost bowling them over. I could barely hear Sarah laughing weakly behind Hermione's bushy hair. Finally, Hermione let go, looking at Sarah from arm's length.

"Oh, _Sarah! _What happened to you?" Hermione fretted, moving her into the room, plopping her down next to Ron, who was looking at her, open-mouthed, stunned.

"Ron, your room…it's so orange." Her voice was still quiet and soft, but surprise was underneath it, waiting to come out as if she was holding back from feeling anything. Sarah had never held back with something she felt strongly about- and seeing her like this made me furious.

"Sarah, bloody hell, what happened?" Ron replied, and she looked down, avoiding his gaze.

"I have a lot to tell you." She almost whispered, and launched into her story in a monotone. "All summer I've been having these dreams where I feel like I'm…her. At first, I could try to keep them back, but…" She rubbed the mark slightly, a frown starting on her face. "I didn't even notice myself getting worse and worse. I would try not to sleep, sometimes for days. I wasn't eating. All day, everyday there wasn't class, I just stared at a wall. The dreams I had- they'd wake my parents up. I was apparently screaming, crying, chanting, laughing…you name it. Sometimes they couldn't even wake me." Ron made an angry noise in his throat, making her stop and then look down again, seeing my face, which I could tell was fuming. "They called a priest, convinced at first that I was possessed. They weren't wrong," she said, seeing my fist clench in new anger. "They just had the wrong culprit. I can't remember half my summer now. I don't remember any of your letters. I can barely remember the dreams. I can't remember a single thing I learned in classes about dueling. It's all just a blur." Her voice cracked, and she hastily swiped at her eyes. Ron put an arm around her.

"Sarah, if we knew that you were as half as bad as you just described, we would have come. But your letters…they seemed normal. Except for two." Hermione picked up her book again, taking out two pieces of parchment, handing them to her. One was her response to a dream, where her handwriting was shaky and almost illegible, the thoughts crazy and unfinished. Then the other was the reply several days later. It was in harsh pointy letters: _**I'm fine.**_ Sarah looked at them, then shook her head.

"I- I don't remember writing those." She said, looking shaken, and Hermione tucked them out of sight, looking worried. Sarah took a deep breath and continued, even though her voice still shook in places. She told us about her last day at dueling classes, about how she had almost killed her opponent using magic far beyond any of us and three times as evil. She explained her dreams and how Dumbledore wanted her to learn Occlumency.

"Is he mad?" Ron demanded. "Having a Death Eater, someone you can't stand to be by, teaching you?"

"I said I'd try it, anything to get rid of the dreams." Sarah said quietly, and Ron gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Why don't we go to bed," Hermione suggested, getting up. "You look dead on your feet, Sarah. Don't worry," she added, seeing Sarah balk when Hermione mentioned sleeping. "You've said yourself that you feel better when around different people, including us. If you have a dream, we'll wake you, but I doubt you'll have one."

"Any _good_ news to tell me?" Sarah asked as Hermione tried to lead her out the door.

"Oh, yeah!" I said, desperate to lighten her mood, suddenly remembering. "Sirius's charges were dropped." Sarah turned, a smile that was desperately needed starting to lighten up her face.

"Really? Harry, that's wonderful news." She said, and just like that, she seemed to sound, look, and I assumed feel better. The instantaneous affect it had on her made some of my hatred go away, even as Hermione led her back downstairs to Ginny's room. But no matter what, I would now always feel a deep hatred for Bellatrix Lestrange. Sarah had even avoided saying her name, and what had happened to her was Bellatrix's fault, even though I took some of the blame. If I had only not made such a stupid mistake…

"Blimey," Ron said quietly, still staring at the door. "I hope she recovers."

"So do I," I muttered, getting into bed. Even when Ron was snoring and the rest of the house was quiet, I still couldn't fall asleep for a long time. I was either listening for Sarah having a nightmare or my own furious emotions were keeping me awake.

The next morning, Sarah looked a bit better, the dark circles under her eyes were going away a little, and her voice was surer. It was obvious that she didn't have a nightmare, something that must have boosted her confidence. She met Mr. Weasley properly at breakfast as well as Fleur, who took one look at Sarah and said something in French that sounded suspiciously rude. "Let it go," Sarah said quietly, seeing Ginny's furious glare at Fleur's back out in the yard, merrily doing some kind of gardening while Mrs. Weasley looked disgruntled, trying to get her work done. "She's just surprised is all. You all were. Now, tell me, what's been going on?" She asked. Hermione hastily explained to her who Slughorn was going to be, as well as my talk with Dumbledore about taking lessons this year. Hermione was going into detail about Dumbledore when she suddenly shrieked, standing up so fast, the table moved. We all turned to see four owls flying towards the Burrow. "Hermione?" Sarah asked nervously, standing up, confused.

"O.W.L.S. results! They come today, I totally forgot. Oh, Merlin, here they come…" Hermione flapped her hands, hysterical, as the owls flew in and lined up on the dining room table, legs outstretched. Cautiously, I approached my owl, taking off the letter. Hermione was already scanning over hers as I opened mine, carefully taking in my grades. I had failed Divination and History of Magic, but what did those matter? I had passed everything else with 'Exceeds Expectations'! "Swap," Hermione and Sarah said together, snatching each others results, squealing, then hugging each other.

"Let me guess, yup, 10 'Outstanding O.W.L.S for Hermione, and oh for Merlin's sake, _11_ O.W.L.S for Sarah. How is that possible?" Ron asked over the sound of his mother coming in. She peered over his shoulder then ruffled his hair, looking extremely pleased.

"Oh, and look, the booklist is in there," Sarah noted, pulling out another piece of paper. I was slightly taken aback by her behavior, she didn't look proud or happy at all that she'd aced all of her O.W.L.S., in fact, she looked almost troubled. She'd celebrated with Hermione for about a second.

"Looks like we'll have to go to Diagon Alley next week. I'll only go if your father doesn't have to work, I won't take you lot in there alone, even with Ministry protection." Mrs. Weasley said, casting a nervous glance at her clock, where all nine hands still pointed to 'mortal peril'.

Time seemed to crawl by, and Hermione insisted that we spend most of our time outdoors in the fresh air. Ron and I played Quidditch against Ginny and Hermione, which meant we usually won until Sarah finally insisted that she wasn't 'fragile' and that she could play just as well too. Even with all the time we spent outside, her face was still pale, almost waxen at times. She hadn't had a nightmare yet, but Hermione had noted (to Ron and I) that she was very restless when she slept, even after a day when she seemed fine. We started to hear more and more about mysterious disappearances and murders that could only be the work of the Death Eaters, and it put Sarah on edge. Any progress she seemed to have made was slowly regressing as she worried and fretted more and more about how the Death Eaters were slowly gaining power. She seemed even worse when Lupin came for my birthday- and he looked worse than she did. His hair was liberally streaked with grey, and his clothes seemed to hang off him more. He only brought news of Dementor attacks and disappearances. And that night, Sarah did have a nightmare, of a cold snowy scene and a shack that Bellatrix placed the dark mark over. Two days later, we heard of Igor Karkaroff's death and how he had been found in a shack up North, in a scene that matched exactly what Sarah had described.

But so far, my scar hadn't burned at all. I had no dreams whatsoever, and that seemed to unnerve Sarah even more. She even tried to refuse going to Diagon Alley to get her school things, but Hermione convinced her to go along, saying that it'd be better than staying at the Burrow with Bill and Fleur. At first I thought it was a good idea, until I saw how sick Sarah looked. Her hands had started to tremble again, and every few seconds she was pulling down her left sleeve. The rest of us brightened when we saw that Hagrid was our security from the Ministry, eliminating the idea I had gotten in my head about being surrounded by pesky Aurors. We stepped through the Leaky Cauldron and into Diagon Alley. The place had changed drastically. Some shops were boarded up, either abandoned or forgotten, and stands selling protective merchandise had sprung up all the way down the street. People moved in packs, never alone, and the merriness of Diagon Alley was gone. Worst of all, large posters of the Death Eaters were hanging on the fronts of shops. At the sight of the first one of Bellatrix Lestrange, Sarah turned white. "Come on," Mrs. Weasley urged us, seeing the look on her face, and I put a sure arm around her, moving her on past the posters. I almost drew back, her skin was emanating an unnatural coldness that I immediately recognized as a symptom from last year.

"Something's not right." Sarah said to me, her voice surprisingly firm but tight and slightly fearful as she looked around at the crowds. There was a kind of wild suspicion in her eyes that I didn't like. "There's something here. Something dark." She glanced at me for a second, an odd look on her face before it was swallowed up again by her pallor and obvious discomfort.

"Is it dangerous?" I asked lowly, as we made our way up the alley to Madam Malkins. She started to shake her head, but then she balked, taking a step back against my grasp.

"Do you think it's just Knockturn Alley?" I asked, worried now, and Mrs. Weasley noticed that we weren't following.

"Are you alright, dear? You look in a right state." She fussed. "It's not…_dark_, is it?" She asked in an undertone, and that was the first time I had seen Mrs. Weasley look so worried. To my surprise, Sarah shook her head.

"It's just Knockturn Alley, nothing serious." She said softly, and I realized that that _voice_, so broken and flat was back. This was ridiculous, it was ruining her life.

"You know what, Molly? I'll take Ginny and Sarah to Flourish and Blotts, and you and Hagrid can take the rest of this lot to Madam Malkins. Alright?" Mr. Weasley asked kindly, and Sarah blinked several times as if breaking a trance before nodding, stepping out from my arm. "Take care," he said, before turning Ginny and Sarah around, heading back up the alley. I hoped that she was right, and that it was just Knockturn Alley and not something worse. Despite Mr. Weasley and Ginny joining up with us twenty minutes later saying that Sarah had Flooed back to the Burrow, Diagon Alley wasn't that bad; in fact, it gave Hermione, Ron and I a chance to go after Malfoy, especially after his scene in Madam Malkins. We got new information on him that he was having something held at Borgin and Burkes, and that he wanted information on how to repair something.

When we returned home with all of our things, Sarah looked a lot better, so maybe it _was_ just Knockturn Alley. We told her about the Malfoy incident, and she scowled, which told me that she was somewhat back to normal.


	5. Chapter 5

5

Sarah POV

Harry spent the holidays brooding about the incident in Diagon Alley- something about Malfoy being a right foul git to Madam Malkin and then threatening the shopkeeper in Borgin and Burkes, a store I had never heard of or seen. He was dead convinced that Malfoy was up to something. He kept trying to bring it up to Ron and Hermione, who really didn't have any interest in the subject. I hadn't been all that talkative either- I had been thinking hard about how I'd felt in Diagon Alley. Harry had been right- I'd felt sick partly because of Knockturn Alley- the dark stench coming from that place had made my insides quake. But something had made my temperature drop, something that hadn't happened since last year. I was wondering if it was Harry's close proximity to me that day- I had realized on the train ride home that there was something dark inside him. At first, I didn't believe it, until I saw him again when I first arrived at the Burrow. It was very strange, and I made a mental note to ask Dumbledore about it. It had never affected me that way before, and I was almost sure that something darker had been close by that day, something a lot more concentrated and evil. As Harry brought it up _again,_ I twisted the band that Mrs. Weasley had knit me by hand for my wrist. It looked like a sweatband, but we all knew better. "Malfoy's father's in Azkaban. Don't you think he'd want revenge?" I heard Harry ask.

"I suppose, but what can Malfoy do about it?" Ron asked, inspecting the handle on his broom, clearly not interested, but Harry ran with it.

"That's my point, I don't know! But I think he's up to _something._ His father's a Death Eater and-" Harry broke off, his mouth half open, and at first, I thought he was staring at me. But then I realized he was staring past me with a vacant expression.

"Harry? What's wrong?" Hermione asked anxiously, finally drawn away from her book.

"Does your scar hurt?" Ron asked, glancing at me, but I shook my head. I actually felt pretty good today, despite all the speculation going on in my head.

"He's a Death Eater," Harry said slowly. "Malfoy's replaced his father as a Death Eater!" Harry exclaimed into the silence, looking at all of us. Seconds later, Ron burst out laughing.

"Harry, Malfoy is sixteen! There's no way that they'd recruit him that young-" He broke off as Hermione made and angry noise in her throat, seeing that I had sucked in a breath. This was an entirely new possibility. Malfoy had been in Diagon Alley that day, and I had felt something darker. If Bellatrix had marked me, they could have easily marked him, considering he was probably willing. If he had been truly marked- "Sarah, I didn't mean it like that- I was just-" Ron was fumbling, obviously embarrassed at himself.

"I understand, Ron," I said softly, giving him a smile, but still thinking hard. His comment didn't bother me that much- Ron was always a tad insensitive.

"And when Madam Malkin tried to roll up his left sleeve, Malfoy wouldn't let her. I bet he's been marked." Harry quickly jumped back on the old topic, trying to dispel the awkward silence. "Wait a moment," he said after a second, turning to look at me as if he'd never seen me before. "You were so sick that day- maybe it wasn't Knockturn Alley you felt, maybe it was his Mark!" Harry pressed. I shrugged hopelessly, even though I pretty much agreed with his idea.

"I- there was something more…concentrated, but I can't say that it was a Mark. It could have been anything; I've never felt that way before." I said, speaking quickly as Harry's face dropped. He rolled his eyes, muttering something and grabbed some dirty laundry, going downstairs, apparently fed up with our lack of interest. I heard Ginny's voice and suddenly remembered something about her that made me feel extremely stupid. I hadn't remembered that she was possessed my second year. I was curious of I had truly been possessed this summer or if I had just been weak. It had been bothering me for a long time now. "I'll be back," I said, slipping out and knocking on Ginny's doorframe. She was stuffing something into her trunk with her foot.

"Hey, Sarah. What's up?" She asked. We had become somewhat friends this summer, but we were still kind of awkward around each other, especially when we were alone.

"I was just wondering if you could tell me about something," I said, stepping inside and lightly closing her door. I didn't want to be overheard, not about something like this. "I was wondering if you could tell me what it's like to be possessed."

Ginny looked at me a second, then sat on the edge of her bed. Her new pygmy puff, Arnold, was purring and moving across her desk, but she ignored him. "You don't remember doing things. You find yourself in places you didn't expect. There's this feeling when you fight it- like waking up from something terrible. Then you panic and it starts all over again." She said to the wall opposite her, and I flinched. I hadn't wanted to accept it, but I couldn't deny it any longer. When I was left along for too long, she started to possess me. If the mark stayed on for a long period of time, would that become permanent? "Don't worry about it, you'll be at Hogwarts, with Dumbledore. It won't happen again." Ginny's voice made me start. The look on my face must have let her in to exactly what I was thinking. "You know, I've only told that to one other person, and that's Harry. He thought Voldemort possessed him last year around Christmas." Ginny said, looking back at the wall across from her.

"I'm hoping he wasn't." I said, and Ginny laughed, shaking her head.

"No, Harry's…different." She said carefully, and I almost smiled. I could definitely tell that Ginny still had the smallest of crushes on him.

"That's never a bad thing. Listen, Ginny, thanks." I said, and Ginny made shooing motions at me, grinning at her pygmy puff, but I could tell her mind was on something else.

"Don't worry about it, Merlin knows you worry enough." She replied, and I smiled, but it was half-hearted as I slipped back out of her room, something new to think about on my ever-growing list. That night, I packed with Hermione and Ginny, and bless her, she didn't mention a word about our conversation, and acted like it never happened.

The next morning, we were again escorted by the Ministry to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. I tried to act relaxed and at least somewhat happy, but no matter what, I moved stiffly, freaking out. _Again_ I sensed something dark, something that didn't belong. Would this happen every time I stepped out the door? Harry asked Mr. Weasley for a word, and Ron and Hermione went to the Prefect's Compartment, leaving me to haul my trunk onto the train. Harry joined me at the last second, frowning, but we waved goodbye to the Weasley's nonetheless. "Come on, let's find a compartment- what is it?" He asked, noticing me suddenly look sharply behind me and how my eyes swept quickly over the passageway. I had been hoping that the _presence_ would have been left behind on the platform, but it was on the train, far at the other end.

"Nothing. I'll tell you later. Come on, you're about to be swarmed." I murmured, seeing a pack of fourth year girls look at Harry hopefully from their compartment, giggling like mad. After a quick search, Harry beating off a pack of girls and finding Luna and Neville, we found a compartment.

"Sarah, you look positively dreadful." Luna said, in her embarrassing honest way, and I felt my face flush for the first time in months. I had purposefully spent more time on my appearance today, letting Mrs. Weasley braid my hair by magic, and slapping my cheeks, trying to get color in them. Apparently I hadn't fooled anyone.

"Can I see it?" Neville whispered.

"I don't think that's best, Neville, trust me. I can't even stand to look at it." I said, now concerned with trying to think of an excuse for why I looked 'like a corpse' as I learned Fleur had said in French when she first saw me. I shrugged at Harry, seeing the look he was giving me, and looked around for inspiration, my eyes resting finally on Luna's _Quibbler._ A smaller headline in the corner referred to Inferi, the zombies of the wizarding world, and it gave me an idea. "If anyone asks, tell them I ran into Inferi over the summer. Got it?" I asked, and Luna nodded dreamily, absorbed in her magazine, while Neville said some form of agreement, halfway under his seat, looking for Trevor, his toad. Moments later, a blushing first year came in with invitations for Harry and Neville to go to some Club for the new Professor. I raised my eyebrows at Harry, daring him to ask me if I'd be alright, and seeing my look, he hastily said goodbye, following Neville out. I was more worried about him doing something stupid than me having an episode.

Harry and Neville didn't return, even when Hermione and Ron popped in for a quick chat. As the train finally slowed, I heaved my trunk out of the luggage rack and changed hastily, noticing Luna's eyes resting on the band around my wrist.

"Let's go." Luna said dreamily, and I followed her out, wondering where the hell Harry had gotten to. As soon as I stepped out of the compartment, I felt my skin get cold, but I pushed on anyway, then jerked to a halt beside a random compartment door. The smallest bit of negative energy I had started to associate with Harry was emanating from it, and the shades were closed. "Aren't you coming?" Luna called from a few feet away, but she was batting her hands around her head, as if to beat off giant moths, looking through a strange pair of glasses. I shook my head, motioning her on, and drew my wand, opening the compartment door, bracing for the worst. However, the place was empty, almost sterile. I cautiously took a step forward, then another. The more concentrated bit was off the train now, already getting farther away, towards Hogwarts, so that wasn't my main concern. I slowly inched farther in, jumping about a mile when a compartment door slammed farther up the train. Almost everyone was off the train by now, and yet… I put my foot down to take another step and it slipped on something that felt like water, and I fell entirely backwards into the edge of a seat then onto the floor with a sharp gasp. What the _hell_ was that? I snatched up my wand from where it had fallen, raised it, and felt around until the slippery substance hit my fingers again. After a second, I realized it was cloth and everything clicked.

"Harry," I groaned, whipping the cloak off him and starting in surprise. His face was covered in blood and his nose looked broken. He had been petrified. I muttered the countercurse and he sat up instantly, wiping blood off his face with the back of his hand. "What the hell are you doing back here?" I stood up and gave him a hand onto his feet.

"Long story," He panted, as we got off the train, then stopped, frowning at me. "How'd _you _know where I was?" He asked, and I froze, completely caught off guard.

"Wotcher, Harry," Tonks' voice saved me from answering, and she appeared from the darkness. She looked like she had at Grimmauld Place- somber and almost sad. "Why is your nose broken? _Episkey,"_ She said with a sigh, and Harry blinked, his nose suddenly fixed. "Wotcher, Sarah," she said, looking at me for a second before quickly looking away. "Come on then, they'll be wondering." She sent off a Patronus, a strange but huge four-legged creature and urged us up towards the castle. All the carriages were gone, so we had to walk. A moment later, we arrived at a large, black gate, with a huge padlock on it. "We'll have to wait here, these gates can't just be unlocked." Tonks said, her face still impassive, as if nothing had changed. I could feel Harry looking at me, but I looked up at the castle, trying desperately to think of a lie to tell him- I didn't want to tell him that I always felt evil on him. "Look, someone's coming." Tonks pointed out unnecessarily as a lantern appeared. As it got closer, I took a step back, then three. I could tell instantly that it was Snape- his mark getting closer to mine hurt.

"Sarah?" Harry asked, then stiffened as Snape appeared, his face unusually tight, and I knew damn well why. I turned my face away, snaking my left hand behind me, keeping it as far away from his as possible. Harry muttered a quick goodbye to Tonks, opting to walk closer to Snape to keep us apart, and for that, I was grateful. The mark was burning just as harshly as it had last year when I was near him, and my body was radiating cold. Jaw clenched, I looked straight ahead, holding my left wrist in front of me, feeling my face slowly get whiter and whiter. I refused to groan out loud; I wouldn't give Snape the satisfaction. Unfortunately, Snape's pain seemed to diminish with time, and he started docking points off of Harry, acting as if I didn't exist.

"_Enough._" I said finally, and my voice came out so dark and angry that both Snape and Harry stopped, staring at me, fully stunned. I gave Snape such a fiery look that he dropped his gaze. I seized Harry's hand and pulled him on without another word, towards the Great Hall. Without pausing or stopping, I walked right in, almost dragging Harry with my speed, heading for the Gryffindor Table. My only thought: _get away, get away, get away!_ The longer I stood close to Snape, the colder I'd felt, until I couldn't stand it any longer. "Move." I said in the same voice to a third year sitting on Ron's left, and he scooted down, looking absolutely petrified. "Sit." I ordered Harry, sitting down, leaving him a space between Ron and I, and he sat, looking at me open mouthed. All the food had disappeared, and deserts were appearing, but I wasn't hungry. My stomach was twisted up in knots again, and my hands were shaking.

"What the-?" Ron said, looking at me clearly for the first time. "What happened?" He rounded on Harry as Hermione peeked down at us and her eyes widened when she looked at me. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to focus. I slowly let out the breath, not even listening to what my three friends were viciously arguing about in whispered voices. I felt Snape come in, moving up to the staff table. But there was something else…my eyes snapped open, scanning the Slytherin table. I didn't know if it was just because there were so many dark people in one place, (it would certainly explain Diagon Alley and the train) but I felt that concentrated darkness _again._ I closed my eyes again when my face twisted, taking another slow, deep breath.

"I'm alright," I said, relieved to hear that my voice was back to normal. When I looked again, all three of my friends were looking at me with concern. "I'll explain later." My voice came out flat, and I risked another look around the hall, avoiding looking at Snape and the Slytherin table. I felt Harry shift away from me slightly as the coldness started again, chilling the air around me too. The third year on my other side was now thoroughly terrified, sitting as far away from me as possible. I looked up again from my empty plate to see Luke and Danielle looking at me in horror. Seconds later, I saw Dumbledore stand up, and his address saved me from any further interaction with my ex-friends. I didn't even listen to Dumbledore, just looked straight ahead at the wall, trying to stay calm. I thought that Hogwarts was going to treat me like it had at the end of last year- I'd at least I'd be comfortable in Dumbledore's wake. But I felt just as empty as I had at the Burrow- even worse after the interaction with Snape.


	6. Chapter 6

6

Sarah POV

After spending a night reassuring my friends that I was fine, and spreading the rumor that my house was attacked by Inferi (as an excuse for my odd behavior), I was glad to get to breakfast the next day. I hadn't eaten last night, and Mrs. Weasley had done me some good, at least giving me an appetite again. Thankfully, Snape wasn't at breakfast, and I only had to deal with the Slytherin table. Sixth years were diverted to their House Heads for instruction on their classes, and I had everything with Hermione, which helped a lot. Arithmancy first period was actually fun, and it raised my spirits. I had felt last night that Hogwarts wouldn't make me feel better this year- and Arithmancy contradicted me, for the moment. I had Ancient Runes next, and that increased my mood even more. I felt increasingly bipolar. Last night I was downright scary, this morning, I didn't tremble, my face had a slight color to it now, and Hermione commented on how warm I felt when I passed her a book for translation.

Then my happiness was brought to a screeching halt when I remembered that my next class, Defense Against the Dark Arts, was with Snape. I took a deep breath before entering the classroom. As soon as I stepped inside, a long shiver went up my spine as the burning feeling started up again. Clenching my jaw, I sat beside Hermione, Harry on my other side, and I didn't miss the looks they were sharing with Ron. Snape had paused for a moment as he was writing at his desk, then continued, not even looking up. "Sarah, you're so white you look like you're about to faint." Harry muttered. I just winced and closed my eyes as Snape stood up. When he was out of my sight, I stared determinedly at the back wall, my grip which was previously tight around my left wrist got looser and looser. I didn't even hear Snape's instructions until Hermione lightly touched my arm.

"We're getting into pairs, practicing jinxes without speaking." Hermione said in an undertone, and I shakily stood across from her, holding my wand in trembling fingers. I felt a pang of pride as D.A. members started right away- I had taught them how last year, and they were a bit rusty, but I could tell it threw Snape for a loop. "Ready?" Hermione asked, and I refocused back on her, giving a quick nod, holding my wand tighter. I slowly battled through it, afraid that I'd suddenly go raving mad like the last time I had used defensive magic. I mostly gave Hermione the practice though, starting to feel ice cold again. "Sit," Hermione said finally, as class was winding down, easily pushing me into a chair when she saw my eyes flutter for a second. She sounded almost hysterical.

"Sarah, you should go to the Hospital Wing," Ron said, and he sounded a little hazy. "Here," He extended a hand, and after a second, I took it, the difference in skin tone and steadiness was shocking as he pulled me to my feet. "I can be late to Transfiguration, like I care," He was babbling, clearly nervous, moving to steer me away as the class left quickly.

"A moment, Ms. Wimkil." Snape's curt voice made Ron freeze and I saw Harry reaching for his wand.

"Go on," I said after a minute, and my voice was lifeless again, and I didn't even look away from the wall I was staring at. "_Go." _I tried to insist, but it only came out angry and dark again.

"I'll be outside," Ron promised, sounding incensed, as Hermione had to almost herd Harry and Ron out the door, both of them glowering at Snape. The door swung shut and the air almost got frigid as my coldness filled the whole room. Achingly slow, I turned, my right fingertips trailing lifelessly across a desk as I moved to stand in front of Snape. For a moment, he didn't speak, only looked at me, looking perfectly normal already- it was like he was becoming immune. That thought in my mind suddenly sparked a pit of rage for him, and Death Eaters like him. It was their fault that I couldn't go out in public without feeling pain, their fault that I looked like a corpse, and their fault that I felt sick all the time.

"I'm interested to hear if you felt anything dark pursuing Potter on his journey to Hogwarts. As a matter of security." Snape said in a low voice, totally unlike his usual curt, cold manner. In the back of my head, I wondered briefly why Snape cared- he hated Harry and wouldn't give a damn if something dark boarded the train with us.

"I can't go out in public anymore without feeling sick; I feel every dark thing _everywhere._" The voice that spilled from me was full of deep rage, and I stepped forward without realizing, thrusting my left wrist in the direction of his mark, making him step back, his face twisting. That was good, he deserved pain, even if it was a fraction of my own.

"If you have, or feel anything in the future, Dumbledore wishes to hear of it." He pressed on, and for a second, I saw pity in his face before it vanished. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling my spine tighten until I thought it'd snap- I'd just felt like…her again. All at once, my face cleared to lifeless again, my tense pose crumpled.

"Fine," I forced the word out, and it sounded painful even to me before I turned on my heel, snatching my bag with a trembling hand and stumbled from the room. Stepping over the threshold, warmth surrounded me again, as well as a furious cuss word from Ron when he caught me.

"Use that word again, Mr. Weasley, and I shall put you in detention. Take Ms. Wimkil to the Hospital Wing." The burning reached me before Snape's voice did. He strode off in the opposite direction as Ron started to help me along. We were half way down a hallway when the burning got so hot and my skin got so cold, that Ron let go with a yell. I stood up straight, whirling around with a gasp to lock eyes with Malfoy at the end of the hall, and behind him, Snape. The usual darkness around Snape had doubled, which could only mean one thing-

Malfoy was a Death Eater. He had been in Diagon Alley, on the train this year, and in the hall last night. Harry had been right. Snape twitched, as if to grab Malfoy, and it all fell into place.

"_Cissy, wait!" I called, running after her as we barreled down Spinner's End. _

"_He's my only son!" The woman sobbed, burying her face into her hands. "You know what the consequences are if he fails, Bella! I can't let that happen." _

"_If it gets the Dark Lord closer to murdering Potter and Dumbledore, then you should let it happen, Cissy." My voice turned sharp and my hand closed around the top of the couch in fury. "Don't be weak, Cissy. Stand for what you believe in."_

_I was laughing, elated. He had been brought into the ranks, despite Cissy's reluctance, and now, with her son as a Death Eater, we'd take over Hogwarts, murder Potter and Dumbledore, and restore the world to our order._

I squeezed my eyes shut, trembling in my effort to force the dreams away, quickly grabbing my left wrist as it seared with pain. I couldn't believe it- Draco Malfoy was sixteen, yet he was the Death Eater here this year to kill Harry and Dumbledore. "Sarah, what is-are you-?" Ron was struggling to put words together, still keeping his distance.

"I have to see Professor Dumbledore." I forced out, turning back around, but getting closer to the two Death Eaters at the top of the hall made me bend over my left arm which was now throbbing with pain and a gasp escape my lips.

"Sarah, you should go to the Hospital Wing-"

"No," I hissed through my teeth, even when Ron tried to turn me back around. I straightened, drawing my wand, determined to make it to Dumbledore, even if I had to hex Ron, when Bellatrix suddenly slammed into my mind, making me lurch, my wand falling from suddenly numb fingers, the world going dark.

"_Fear not, my Lord. I will keep her silent." I laughed, pushing through into the girl's mind, fighting off her weak defenses with a feral smile._

"_I thought you were fond of this student you've marked." The high cold voice filled the room, even though he was sitting in shadow in a straight backed chair, Nagini twisting around his shoulders. He sounded amused._

"_It'd be useless to kill her now, and besides, she can't fight me off forever. There are secrets in her mind that I **will** have." I snarled, and slammed my fingers down on my Dark Mark. I heard the scream of pain as if it was a long way off and shrieked with laughter, pressing harder, digging deeper._

Ron POV

Sarah lurched, freezing on the spot, and her eyes started to turn black, making me take another step back. Seconds later, she screamed out loud, the sound full of terrible pain. She collapsed, curling around her left arm and shuddering. Snape shoved Malfoy out of the way, who was just watching like a prat and started to come over. The effect was instantaneous; Sarah started to writhe as he got closer. "Back off, can't you see it's hurting her?" I shouted, making him stop.

"What is going on here?" Professor McGonagall asked sharply, whipping around the corner and stopping, seeing the scene. After a moment of stunned silence, she already had a hold of herself. "Severus, go fetch Professor Dumbledore. Move, Weasley." She barked, waving her wand, making a stretcher. She levitated Sarah onto it and had already started to walk away. I snatched up Sarah's bag and scrambled after her, heart pounding. What the bloody hell was happening? Why had Sarah suddenly insisted on seeing Dumbledore?

McGonagall brushed into the ward, calling for Madam Pompfrey in a tight voice. She appeared and instantly bustled over, already waving her wand, drawing the curtains around the bed. "Mr. Weasley, what happened?" McGonagall asked sharply, forcing me back down the ward with her long strides, away from Sarah.

"I dunno, she left Snape's class ill, and then she had a fit or something-" I broke off as the doors opened. Snape was standing a few feet back, expression blank as Dumbledore swept in, Harry jogging after him, throwing a dark look at Snape before the door closed.

"The situation, Poppy?" Dumbledore asked, McGonagall following him as they approached Madam Pompfrey. Harry stopped next to me and we listened hard.

"She was seizing. Something or _someone_ must have tried to enter her mind. I'm not sure if they succeeded, if it'll be permanent, or if any permanent damage was done. I've given her a sedative she was so restless. There is nothing further I can do, Albus." Poppy whispered fiercely, then strode away, shooing Harry and I further back with a scowl.

"What happened?" Harry asked, and I quickly filled him in, making his face darken.

"You two. Return to class." McGonagall barked, now brushing down the ward, pushing us out.

"But Professor-" Harry started, but one look from McGonagall silenced him. "Come on," he muttered to me, going the opposite direction of his next class. "Let's wait for Hermione and come back later."

Sarah POV

"_My Lord, she is stronger than I anticipated. I was unable to gather anything from her head- although she will not be telling anyone about Draco. I've made sure of that." I said, slightly satisfied, but mostly irritated. _

"_You have done well Bellatrix. You may retire." He said, loosing interest and playing once again with Nagini. I bowed low before backing out. As soon as the door closed I stalked down the hallway, furious that I couldn't enter her mind. Perhaps I should try again…_

"_Ennervate." _A voice said quietly, and my eyes flickered open of their own accord. At first, all I saw was white, then my eyes slowly focused. I was very uncomfortable, tense, all my muscles straining. My head was pounding, and my breath was so fast and shallow, it was almost a pant. The brightness dimmed, and Professor Dumbledore swam into view, looking extremely cautious. "Ms. Wimkil, can you hear me?" He asked quietly as my eyes quickly flicked around the room. Neither Malfoy nor Snape was in view. Bellatrix in the back of my head was still furiously angry, but there was a barrier of numbness blocking her from me, and keeping me from moving too.

"Professor," I breathed, filling with wild anxiety. He had to know about the second Death Eater, about the plan-

"Sarah, try to relax. You've been sedated and you're in the hospital wing. We think that you just had a seizure of some kind triggered by the mark. Relax. You are safe now." Dumbledore said soothingly.

"There's a- Death Eater-at Hogwarts," I choked, and Dumbledore's eyes flashed pity.

"Yes, Sarah, it's Professor Snape. Remember?" He said gently, but I jerkily shook my head, feeling my heart race.

"N-No, there's a n-n-new one," I went to utter his name and groaned, my eyes squeezing shut as the mark flared so hot I thought my skin would melt. I went to grab it, but my sedated limbs refused to react.

"Sarah, relax, stop trying to tell me. I know." Dumbledore said, and it shocked me to the core.


	7. Chapter 7

7

Sarah POV

Dumbledore moved closer, almost oblivious to my shock, and touched my forehead with his unburned hand. I inhaled sharply; suddenly free to breathe normally as Bellatrix's power began to fade, although the pain and the fear did not. She must have made it into my head, must have known what I knew- "Sarah, I know about Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said quietly, but his voice was quite clear. He slowly removed his hand, clearly satisfied that I had relaxed some. "Professor Snape is my spy, and is active once again as a Death Eater for that reason. He informed me as soon as Mr. Malfoy was initiated. The situation is under control."

"B-But he's trying to k-" I groaned again as I almost disclosed his mission but didn't make it that far. Even though I had Dumbledore so close to me and on my side, what ever Bellatrix had done to me was standing strong. Whenever I tried to speak of what I'd pieced together and seen, sharp digging pains, ten times worse then shin splints erupted in my left wrist. Panic exploded inside me- I had to tell him, tell _someone_-

"Yes, I know that he is trying to kill me," Dumbledore said lightly, as if this was daily conversation. I looked at him in disbelief. This couldn't be happening! Dumbledore had to have some plan to counter-act him, to protect himself and Harry- "Now, has Bellatrix entered your mind?" Dumbledore asked, staring at me with his x-ray eyes.

"No, s-sir," I breathed, almost sharply as Bellatrix tried again, as if she knew what we were talking about. The sedative barrier kept her at bay.

"Then listen carefully to what I have to say. You must keep this a secret until the day I die, do you understand?" He asked, his vivid eyes suddenly boring into me.

"Yes," I gasped as my breath started to get faster and shallower once more. Dumbledore leaned forward and started telling me things that made my breath stop. About how he was teaching Harry about Horcruxes and how they were the reason why Voldemort was still alive. About how he had already planned his death, how he had to die this year no matter what happened. About how Snape would appear to be a traitor but then be the most loyal of all. He told me about how the mark would steadily make me worse and worse, and if I wasn't turned in a certain amount of time, it'd kill me. He talked about Voldemort and Harry, and how the connection between their minds would get stronger. When he finished, I closed my eyes, overwhelmed. Everything was on the brink of falling apart, and Dumbledore had already compensated for it with his own life. A timer was attached to me now, and when there was no time left, I'd be dead.

"Sarah, you must learn Occlumens now, do you understand? Do you understand why? I did not plan on Harry having anymore friends, and I didn't plan on you taking such a big role so fast. But I believe you can help us, not the Death Eaters. Will you agree to take Occlumency from Professor Snape?" He asked, and I could only nod, my chest too tight for speech. "There is one last thing," Dumbledore said, standing, his robes swirling around him. "I said previously that no matter what, I had to die this year. I want to ensure that it will not be at the hands of young Mr. Malfoy. Despite the path he's taken, he has never killed another, his soul is pure. If you can stop him from the path Voldemort has chosen for him, you may save him from a terrible fate." Dumbledore said, and frowned when I didn't respond, my heart racing again, panting faster, I squeezed my eyes shut. The idea of helping _Malfoy,_ the biggest coward and git I knew surprised me so much that it let her through-Bellatrix was tearing through the wall- "Poppy," I heard Dumbledore call, his voice sharp.

"Stay calm now, easy does it-" I heard Madam Pompfrey say confidently, and I was suddenly relaxing again, a newer, stronger sedative racing through me, making me very sleepy. "She'll be fine now. The sedative will give her enough time to rest and refortify her strength. I'll monitor her, Albus." Her voice got farther and farther away until it was swallowed by darkness…

Snape POV

As soon as I had alerted Dumbledore, I went back to my office where I had told Draco to wait for me. I had warned him to stay away from her, knowing that eventually she would figure it out, but the later the better. Of course, he had ignored me, and I was surprised that he was even waiting in my office. Draco was insufferably proud, like his father. His face changed from sulking to angry in about a second when I walked in the door. "I told you to avoid her." I said curtly, shutting the door. Maybe now he'd learn to listen.

"That's a little difficult in this school. We'd have classes together everyday." Draco spat. "And why should I? She's got nothing on me." He started for the door but a flick of my wand locked it.

"You should avoid her because I said so." I said dangerously, and he whirled back around, glaring at me.

"This is _my _job to do. _My _mission. I know that all you want is my glory. You can't order me around. This is a fluke," He said, his grip getting tighter on his wand.

"Draco, I do not want your glory. You must have felt your mark burn in the hallway- and it's because of her. Avoid her." I ordered, trying to make him at least listen to reason.

"_Why?_ A Dark Mark doesn't burn around a Mudblood. I'll do as I please." He snapped, turning around, unlocking the door, and stalking off into the hallway like a spoiled brat, but, incidentally, just like his father. It wouldn't have been so bad if this _girl_ hadn't ruined everything. Dumbledore would tell her the truth now, and if anyone was to try to discover it, they'd aim for the weakest link- her. She'd probably also blab to Potter and his gang, throwing everything into jeopardy, my position, Dumbledore's plan- all of it. I didn't care how _skilled_ the Order claimed she was, or how strong she'd been in dealing with the effects. My fireplace erupted with green flames, interrupting my brooding, and seconds later, Dumbledore himself stepped through, lightly brushing ash from himself with his dead hand.

"Severus," he greeted me, stepping out of the hearth.

"This is it, Dumbledore. She'll ruin it all, mark my words." I warned, but he just sighed heavily, conjuring one of his squishy armchairs and sitting down. "Are you not concerned?" I demanded.

"You will need to teach her Occlumency as soon as possible." He said calmly, and I nearly threw something.

"You told her enough to need _Occlumency?_ Are you mad, Albus? This will not end well, this will be our undoing. This _girl_ is the weakest link, and you know it. Bellatrix knows it. That's all the Dark Lord needs." I hissed, only getting angrier when he shook his head placidly. That was the one thing that _always_ irritated me about Dumbledore. He always danced around the point and treated everyone else below him like children.

"She needs it not only because she knows, but because Bellatrix has silenced her. If she can do that, she could try to possess her and invade her mind again." He said, and I stood for a moment, only looking at him before it sunk in. She couldn't speak of Draco, not to anyone, not even Potter, not even Dumbledore. For the moment, we were still secure, and she was taking the fall, not us. "You understand now, I'm sure. I'll send her down tomorrow evening." Dumbledore said, rising from his chair and Vanishing it.

"Has she been possessed before?" I asked before he was almost out the door, and he paused and replied without looking at me.

"I believe so, during the summer. Her memory was so broken; she couldn't and wouldn't remember it happening. But she is stronger than you think. Good afternoon, Severus," He walked out then, closing the door quietly behind him, leaving me to think.

Harry POV

We grabbed Hermione and went up to the Hospital Wing instead of going to Lunch. Sarah was the only one in the ward, and was sleeping somewhat peacefully thanks to Madam Pompfrey. Hermione pressed Ron for details, but nothing stood out too much, except for her one comment, "I have to see Professor Dumbledore." Did she think that she was going to seize? Had she remembered something from the summer, felt an overpowering influence in that hallway? My suspicions were running high- according to Ron, only he, Snape, McGonagall and Malfoy had been in the hallway with her at the time, and only he, Snape and Malfoy before McGonagall arrived. Had she realized, (and I hoped that she did), that Malfoy was a Death Eater?

But most of all, I wanted dearly to know why Dumbledore has been in the ward for so long. I hoped that it wasn't because of Sarah's health, that's the last thing she needed. I wanted information from Dumbledore. I knew that I'd get it, tonight even, our first lesson, but Dumbledore had a way of dishing out certain information to certain people, and there were things that he'd never tell any of us.

And that made me wonder if he'd tell it to Sarah.

Draco POV

I stormed down the hallway, shoving a pack of first years out of my way. Snape was an idiot, and he'd ruin everything. He knew as well as I did that if I didn't succeed, he'd probably kill me, and the Malfoy line would end. Failure wasn't going to be an option. And here was Snape, throwing random facts and orders at me, claiming to be trying to help, but really just being a prat and confusing me. I knew that he was almost as loyal as Bellatrix, if not more so, and he probably just wanted more of everything, more power, more glory, and more influence. He was a greedy, nosy bastard.

And why would he claim that Wimkil, the only Mudblood nerdier than Granger would be responsible for triggering my Mark? That made no sense at all, yet it had burned when I stepped into the hallway. The rumor going around school was that she'd been attacked by Inferi, even though the pictures in Snape's classroom that depicted an Inferi attack were only full of blood and mangled people. Her story didn't fit- but neither did Snape's. But what did it matter? She was a Mudblood, and Snape was only trying to trip me up. It was all just lies.


	8. Chapter 8

8

Sarah POV

I woke up in the Hospital Wing, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn't panicking, depressed, or waking from a dream. Someone had taken off my glasses, so the place was fuzzy and a little too bright. "I can tell already that you feel better." Dumbledore's voice made me start, and I snatched my glasses off the side table, pushing them up my nose, then batting hair that had come out of my braid out of my face, annoyed. Dumbledore was sitting in one of his squishy chairs, pressing his fingers together with a doleful smile.

"I do," I said, curling a long lock of hair away behind my ear. I hesitated, unsure what to say next, and if I could actually say it. Dumbledore smiled in understanding. "You're here to finish what we started yesterday." I chose my words carefully.

"I am. I must insist that we finish our conversation, and that you make an Unbreakable Vow. The entire future is resting on what I explained to yesterday. You cannot be tempted or, regrettably, forced, to divulge what we discussed." Dumbledore said gently, but I understood the weight that came with his words.

"Where would you like to start?" I asked, glancing at a window. The sun was just rising, but the light was on next to me, explaining the brightness. Dumbledore chuckled.

"I believe we were speaking of Mr. Malfoy before we were…interrupted. I can see your reluctance already." Dumbledore added when he saw me scowl.

"I don't think he can be helped, Professor. Even if he does abandon his quest, it would only be out of cowardice, not because he'd have a change of heart. Besides, I wouldn't be able to stand being near him." I made my point, even though Dumbledore was smiling.

"I believe I have an answer to that problem that spans to cover others." Dumbledore reached into his cloak and pulled out a long gold chain, and on it, was one beautiful vial full of what I thought was ashes. Seconds later, it formed into one brilliant red feather. Then it repeated it again, and I knew instantly what it was- a phoenix feather. "This is a phoenix feather from Fawkes. I feel it will raise your spirits and your strength for the times ahead." Dumbledore handed it to me, and I slowly took it, then felt my eyes go wide when I slipped it around my neck. All of the weight and weariness, all of the despair and anger vanished and I felt a real, true smile stretch across my face, an actual grin.

"Sir…" I started, but was at a total loss for words. What he'd given me- I couldn't imagine how I'd pay him back for it. I felt like he'd given me my life back. "I-thank you." I stuttered, quickly slipping it out of sight, behind my shirt.

"Now that you feel better, we must at least negotiate the terms of the Vow." Dumbledore said firmly. "You must not disclose Snape's position to anyone until he gives you permission to do so or he dies." He said, offering his hand. I gave him mine, with it being steady for once, and the glowing bonds sealed then dissipated. "You will not tell anyone of my plan unless the time is right. It will let you when it's time." He added, seeing my confusion. I hesitated. When he died, and I couldn't bear to think of that now, things would fall apart quickly, and everyone would be desperate for answers. If Voldemort got even more power- I would need to speak up. "This magic will not fail you, no matter what the future holds." Dumbledore said calmly, as if he knew what I was thinking. Not needing any further pressure, I took his hand again, and we sealed that deal. After, Dumbledore seemed a lot more relaxed. "Sarah…please, at least consider trying to sway Mr. Malfoy. It might do both of you good." He said mysteriously, standing up. "Also, Professor Snape will be expecting you for Occlumency this evening." He gave me a wink and a smile and then strode away. Halfway down the ward, the doors opened and Hermione, Ron and Harry came through, waited for Dumbledore to pass, then almost ran down the ward, skidding to a stop in front of my bed, looking surprised to see me smiling.

"Hey, guys," I said cheerfully, swinging out of bed and jamming my feet into my shoes.

"But-I-what-how-you look so much better," Ron, looking desperately confused, tried to express about four thoughts at once and failed miserably, making me laugh. The noise made them look even more shocked.

"I've got a lot to tell you," I said, hooking arms with Hermione, who still looked stunned, and leading them back up the ward. I had to downscale everything, choosing my words carefully, but my friends didn't seem to notice. They were still baffled by my change in appearance and mood. All I told them was that I had been by Snape too long and I had been very tired, leading Bellatrix to mentally attack me, which led nicely into throwing in that I had Occlumency lessons with Snape now. That didn't go over _quite_ as well, (with Harry, anyway) but they were more interested in the phoenix feather Dumbledore had given me. Once in the hallways, its power diminished some, I started to feel dark presences again, but it wasn't overpowering, and it took more of it to make me feel even the slightest bit ill. I told them nothing about my chat with Dumbledore, Snape, or Malfoy, which was the hardest part. I was still mulling over what Dumbledore had said: _"It might do both of you good." _What did that mean? We arrived at Gryffindor Tower and I freshened up hastily, braiding my hair with magic to save time, and seizing what ever parts of my uniform were clean and easily accessible. The feather continued to work it's magic, even when I finally had my first full day of classes and found out about all the work I'd already missed- I didn't feel bogged down or hopeless at all. It was wonderful. Best of all- the looks on everyone's faces. I found it hilarious, that I had messed people up that much.

But I didn't see a trace of Malfoy, not even in Defense Against the Dark Arts, where I actually participated in the non-verbal blocking and casting of spells. The look on Snape's face was priceless, even comical. However, my high faded after dinner, when I said goodbye to Harry, Ron and Hermione and set off alone in the dark castle for Snape's office. I knocked, and the curt, "Come in," was not encouraging. Only when the door closed behind me did Snape look up. The mark flared, as usual, but the undeniable urge to grab it and collapse into misery didn't come, and I was even more thankful for the feather around my neck. He went back to what he was doing.

"Good evening, Professor." I said politely, but without a speck of emotion.

"Sit," He flicked his wand and a chair appeared in front of his desk, black and ramrod straight. Only when I was seated did he continue, not looking at me for a second. "What do you know of Occlumency, Ms. Wimkil?" He asked in almost a bored tone of voice.

"It's the process of fortifying your mind against any kind of vulnerability." I said tonelessly, starting to feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. Snape's office, although no longer in the dungeons, was very cold and barren- full of dark presences. I still doubted Snape a little- and the atmosphere wasn't helping me think of him in a better light.

"Very well. I will try to enter your mind- and it is your job to try and block that attack. Once you have kept the attack at bay, you must disarm the attacker. A simple Shield Charm will do. Stand," he said, and I did. He Vanished the chair, and I backed up slightly as he raised his wand. Now I realized why Harry hated these lessons so much- I was already uncomfortable. "Ready," Snape said tonelessly, then cried, "_Legilimens!" _ I frantically threw up my idea of a mental shield- an image of the thing in front of me at eye level- one of Snape's creepy pickled creatures, and tried to keep that in front of everything else in my head. It worked- for awhile. Then the strain of keeping Snape away and my concentration faltered as I started to feel worse and worse- as if the feather wasn't working under stress. Seconds later, he made it through.

"_We will cast out the devil!" My father was bellowing, spit flying from his mouth, a firm grip on my elbow. I was eleven, and he was dragging me across the kitchen, my mom following and looking on- but doing nothing. _

"_Father- I'm not possessed- it's just a letter!" I cried, but he just snorted like an angry bull, kicking open the door to the basement._

"_This is a sign of your compact with the Devil! We will release your spirit to God!" He roared, and I twisted out of his grasp. I made a move for it across the kitchen, but he seized my long braid and yanked, making me shriek. "You have written in his book! You do is work in the dead of night!" With an awkward sort of toss, he made to pitch me down the stairs. I seemed to slide forever, my spine aching with each stair it hit, until I did an awkward somersault and crashed into the shelving at the bottom. Old afghans and baskets fell off it, coating me with a shower of dust as Father slammed the door shut above, and the click of the lock was heard. "Call the Minister, woman!" I heard him bellow, and then silence fell. After I dug myself out of the mess, I pulled out the crumpled and mysterious letter I'd gotten in the mail- an invitation to a strange school called Hogwarts…_

I was sitting on my heels on a cold stone floor, weeping into my hands. My wand was rolling across the floor, but then stopped when it hit something. My absolute worst memory- the one that made me cry at night- on full display for Snape to see. If Professor McGonagall hadn't showed up a day later…who knows what would have happened to me. I barely noticed when two hands picked me up by the forearms and sat me in a chair. After a minute or two, I finally controlled myself and sat up, hastily wiping under my eyes. Snape was observing me with a strange expression, which suddenly filled me with anger. That was none of his business- no one had _ever_ seen that. "What happened?" Snape asked, and I never thought I'd ever hear that from him. I fixed my jaw, looking determinedly past him.

"My Father hired a Minister for an exorcism. Professor McGonagall arrived before the Minister." I said shortly, getting up and fetching my wand. Snape being able to see that only motivated me to try harder- to keep resilient and strong. He would never see anything that personal ever again- I'd make sure of that. "Again," I said lowly, Vanishing my chair. Snape rose, looking uncertain, but raised his wand nonetheless. To my dismay, Snape made it in within seconds.

_Frantic, I turned on the spot, Apparating to behind Bellatrix. A spell whipped through the spot where I'd been and exploded a bench yards away. I was dueling for my life against her now- the 'play time' was over. She whirled around, a feral smile on her face, spells erupting from her wand. "**Protego!**" I bellowed, whipping my wand forward, and thanks to my verbal casting, a huge and strong shield charm that kept me safe, for the moment, appeared. Then I started firing jinxes and hexes left and right, trying and failing to hold ground as Bellatrix got closer and closer. My hip was aching from where I'd splinched, my ribs on fire from Flint's kick, and my braid was starting to unravel. My foot slipped on some of the broken stones on the dais, making me fall. _

"_Give me the prophecy and I just might let you live!" She called, laughing as I rolled frantically to the side, then desperately blocked four spells from her in a quick succession, trying to get up. Panting too hard to reply, I just shook my head with a glare, and her face got ugly fast. "IMPEDIMENTA!" She shrieked, throwing her arm out for more power. The spell was so strong; it collapsed my shield charm easily and blasted me off my feet, across the dais and to the other side of the arch. I heard something crack in my ribs and uncomfortable heat spread from the spot. I screamed in pain, stars bursting in front of my eyes. When they cleared, Bellatrix was striding over to me, wand raising-_

"STOP IT!" I shouted, my voice terrible. Snape's office swam into view again, and I quickly turned my back to him, trembling. The mark was burning almost red hot, and I could feel Bellatrix even now, a smirk covering her face at my pain. I glared at a bookshelf in front of me, feeling my body tense as the fear faded. I was weak _already_, having let him in twice- and into my head during the two worst experiences of my whole life.

"It seems that with evil comes your strength." Snape said, and I stiffened further, turning to glare at him. My mind was fuzzy and aching, and I wanted to cause the bastard pain. His face swirled for a second, and harsh thoughts suddenly pounded into my brain.

_He wasn't better than me, not with his history. He had practically begged the Dark Lord to save that Mudblood girl- and for what? She was already married with children to that Potter- the blood traitor. _

With a tiny jerk, I snapped out of it, feeling my face scowl. "One shouldn't need evil to find strength, something I thought you'd understand. Goodnight," I snapped, turning on my heel and stalking out of his office, furious. As I got farther and farther away from him, it seemed that the feather seemed to kick back in, and eventually I stopped. Slowly, I reached down my shirt and extracted the gold chain. For the rest of my walk back to Gryffindor Tower, I held it tightly in my hand and didn't let it go, trying to soothe my headache. For a second, in his office, I was pretty sure I hadn't been myself, not at all. It was as if I'd had a reaction to what he'd said- but it was like I'd been Bellatrix, not myself. In the dimming memory, I thought for sure I'd heard the word 'Potter'…


	9. Chapter 9

9

Sarah POV

After a night's rest and breakfast, I felt better. I had to take the necklace off when I slept, afraid of breaking it, but I was determined to get some answers. I still needed to talk with Dumbledore about the presence I felt around Harry, I wanted his advice on Occlumency, and still wanted to wriggle out of his assignment on keeping Malfoy from harm. He'd done me a favor last year, and I hadn't cursed him into oblivion- now we were even. We'd never been friends, and we'd never had an alliance. It had been all business.

Harry had Quidditch Tryouts after breakfast, so I joined Hermione in the stands to watch.

"Did Harry tell you about his Potions book yet?" Hermione asked stiffly after watching him bellow at two Ravenclaws trying to make it on the Gryffindor team.

"What do you mean?" I asked, watching the Ravenclaws run off the field giggling.

"He found a Potions book for this year that has a whole bunch of tips and hints in it. That's why he's so good this year." Hermione said- and it made sense. I had only been to Potions once- and Harry had greatly impressed Slughorn. Since he'd been only average at Potions before- it had surprised me, but I hadn't commented on it.

"So he's cheating," I said, and Hermione beamed at me.

"Exactly. I checked the book for any harmful spells, but nothing came up." Hermione said, sounding satisfied.

"Well, he'll get in trouble for it eventually. I won't try to take it from him unless he does something stupid." I said, enunciating the word 'stupid' as a kid trying out for Beater fiercely hit it only for it to ricochet off a post and hit him in the gut. I chuckled, and Hermione did too. For the rest of tryouts we chatted, watching Harry uncharacteristically bellowing as he stomped around the field. To my amazement, Hermione Confounded Cormac McLaggen so that Ron could be Keeper without a second thought.

"Please don't tell," She said as Harry talked to the new members of the team. Most people were already leaving- the fun was over. "Ron is...well…" Hermione sputtered, and I laughed, standing up and giving her a hand. It was obvious to me that Hermione _really_ liked Ron, and that Ron was starting to notice.

"Don't worry about it." I said, then congratulated Ron as he bounded over, grinning ear to ear. He immediately launched into a long story about how one of the new Chasers had put spin on the Quaffle and how his save had been so dramatic. Harry and Hermione insisted that we go and see Hagrid, and I ganged up on Ron and made him go too. As we walked across the rolling grounds, I felt Hogwarts' magic work on me, and I felt lighter and happier than I had in months. It was such a relief to be laughing and having fun with my friends- I was so afraid that it wouldn't happen. Ron was still glowing, Hermione was laughing at him, and Harry was hoarse from shouting so much, but we were discussing his picks for the team. I felt warm, I knew I wasn't radiating cold or pale in the face. We pulled up even with Hagrid's cabin, and I hesitated, even though Harry, Ron and Hermione had moved forward to pet Buckbeak. His great orangey yellow eyes were watching me carefully- he knew that something wasn't quite right. Harry caught on at looked at me, looking confused. Before he could ask me about it, Hagrid came stumping around his cabin, wearing a giant flowery apron and a frown. He took one look at us and stormed into his cabin without another word.

After Harry convinced him to let us in, Hagrid told us the truth- that Aragog was dying. It was terrible to see Hagrid cry- but Hermione calmed him down easily enough. Then we cheered him up by bashing Professor Grubby-Plank and talking about Grawp. When he waved goodbye to us, he looked a lot better. Unfortunately, the closer I got to the castle, more of that happy, light feeling slipped away from me until the smile died on my face. Discreetly, I reached up and rubbed my neck, feeling the chain under my collar. It reminded me that I still needed to speak with Dumbledore- I still had some questions, and, of course, the dark presence I felt in Harry. I still didn't understand it. Harry was such a kind and sweet person, even if he was a bit clueless at times. I had never been afraid of him, even when he was angry. It didn't make sense for me to notice that in him. As we walked towards the Great Hall for dinner, I made myself promise that I'd go to Dumbledore tonight. Ron started talking to me again about Quidditch, and I smiled and nodded as he blabbed on. All during dinner, I glanced inconspicuously once and awhile at Malfoy. Now that I was actually looking at him, I noticed that he looked rather tired, and pale, like me. His skin looked almost grey, and he had bags already, even though it was only the first week of school. "Are you feeling alright?" Ron asked, sounding slightly irritated that I was no longer listening.

I opened my mouth to reply, but Hermione leaned past Harry and hissed, "Honestly, Ron, she had a seizure only yesterday!"

"Guys, guys," I interrupted hastily, seeing the look on Ron's face. "I'm fine, seriously. I s'pose I'm just tired."

"You should go up and rest," Hermione pressed.

"Actually, I wanted to see Professor Dumbledore after dinner," I said casually as possible. My friends immediately took it the wrong way.

"Why?" Ron asked.

"What's wrong?" Harry demanded.

"I knew something was wrong!" Hermione whispered fearfully.

I couldn't help it, I laughed. The expressions on their faces were priceless. "It's nothing serious, I feel great, actually. I didn't feel poorly once all day." I said honestly. Ron was still looking at me with his mouth half open, Hermione looked suspicious, and Harry looked skeptical. "_Seriously._" I said strongly.

"Well then, why see him if you feel fine?" Hermione challenged, essentially trapping me. If I now admitted that something was bothering me, it would re-raise my poor friends concerns. But if I couldn't tell them what I was really up to- Bellatrix and Dumbledore wouldn't allow it.

"There is something I wish to discuss with him." I chose my words carefully, and went back to my soup, even though I suddenly wasn't hungry. There was a moment of silence until one of the new Chasers came over with a message for Harry, something about his detention with Snape that evening. As she was speaking, I saw Dumbledore rise and leave the staff table, shaking his sleeve indifferently over his burnt hand, bidding Professor Flitwick goodnight. "I'll see you later," I muttered, hastily getting up and abandoning my soup. As I slipped out of the hall, I had to pass the staff table and of course, Snape. My mark burned, as did his, because I saw him glance up only for a moment. I had avoided him at all costs ever since my breakdown in his office during Occlumency. I knew that I had to return, but I had been dreading it. Then I hurried on, sprinting once I was away from most of the traffic. I didn't know the password up to see Dumbledore, and once he was up in his study I wouldn't be able to call him down. It was a miracle that he was actually here and not busy- he'd been away already, and no one knew where. "Professor!" I called, seeing him almost around a corner and put on an extra burst of speed. He paused, and I skidded to a stop about a foot past him.

"Well, you seem to be feeling better, Ms. Wimkil," He noted, smiling. "Seeing as you've rushed to see me, I assume that there is something you wish to discuss."

"Yes," I said, straightening my skirt and then robes hurriedly. "I need to talk to you about Harry." I continued, looking up to see him frowning slightly.

"Of course. Come, we shall discuss this in private," He said lightly, but there was a new quickness to his step. A short and brisk walk later, we were stepping into his office. He offered me a lemon drop, which I took just out of politeness. "Now, what is troubling you, Sarah? What has Harry gotten himself into this time?"

"No, no, Harry is fine. I've just…noticed something about him is all." I said, and Dumbledore pressed his fingertips together and nodded his head, an indication to go on. "I felt it at first around Ron and Hermione too, at the end of last year, and I thought I was just imagining it at first. It's this…presence. As I was getting of the train last year, we had a moment alone and I realized that it was from him, not anyone else. It's dark." I confessed. Dumbledore had been watching me intently, and now he stood, pacing for a fraction of a second before looking back to me.

"I believe you have been fooled, my dear. I think you are feeling the smallest of traces left over from Harry's past. Harry's scar has long since held a darker connection to Voldemort." Dumbledore said, sitting back down.

"Sir, does it affect him in any way?" I asked, worried, and he laughed, but his eyes remained sober.

"It will pain him once and awhile, and, of course, he has had dreams similar to the ones he had last year." He said, looking at me with a larger meaning in his words. I knew he still blamed Harry for what had happened- and I still hated Dumbledore for it. I twitched, wanting to stand, but remembering that I had another thing to ask him. "But I hear that you had an interesting start to Occlumens, and for that, I'm sorry." He said, and I inhaled sharply, quickly looking away from him. My gaze fell on Fawkes, who was watching me with beautiful, intelligent eyes.

"Sir, I have one last thing to ask you." I said softly, but with a firmness which signaled that he shouldn't continue with his last topic.

"You are at liberty to ask me anything." Dumbledore said, and I looked back to him, already feeling myself frowning, even though being near him and Fawkes made me feel as if the mark wasn't there.

"Do you still wish for me to try to help Malfoy?" I asked, hearing my own reluctance in my voice, and Dumbledore chuckled lightly.

"Yes, I want you to try, Sarah. I know it will be difficult for you, but if a soul can remain unbroken then I wish for it to be so." He said, and I stood.

"Then I guess I have something else to do besides schoolwork. Thank you, sir, for putting up with me." I said hastily, standing up and going to leave.

"Sarah," He called, and I stopped. "Do not hesitate to come to me again. I know that I've been gone- and busy- but it is imperative that we keep in touch, especially if you have a dream or feeling. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I said, then walked even faster for the door. I only relaxed on his staircase as I went down. The meeting had been good- I had a reason now for the darkness in Harry- I could stop worrying that something bad was happening to him. Plus, being closer to Dumbledore again had lifted the strain of the darkness, making me feel normal again. However, Dumbledore still _had_ to blame Harry, make me feel uncomfortable, and insist that I try to talk sense into _Draco Malfoy, _the most arrogant, stuck up prat I had ever known. As I walked back to Gryffindor Tower, I thought about how my sixth year would go. I had finally broken out of my obsessive student streak, but I had the mark, Occlumency, and Malfoy to deal with. I knew my friends, bless them, were always worried about me now. Learning Occlumens was going to be incredibly difficult. Worst of all, I had to change the heart and mind of Malfoy- even though I couldn't speak of all the things I knew. I hadn't even told Harry, Hermione and Ron- I didn't know how to say it without worrying them more. Trying to forget my current woes, I walked faster through the familiar and friendly halls to the Common Room and slipped inside. Harry was still gone on his detention with Snape, which meant that Hermione and Ron had probably been bickering. I sat on the floor, leaning against the coffee table, examining the two of them. They were sitting in armchairs side by side, but both were scowling and immersed in whatever they were doing. A rush of affection washed over me as Hermione shot a glance at him. I could tell that she loved him, despite Ron's lack of tact and patience. "Hey, guys," I said cheerfully, Summoning my bag.

"I take it everything's fine then?" Hermione asked, barely looking up.

"Nothing was ever wrong," I assured her with a grin, pushing my thoughts about Malfoy and Occlumency aside for the night. Hermione did not continue the conversation- she was either really mad at Ron or she was really engrossed in her work- I couldn't tell which. So I figured I should do my homework too, and, regretfully, we did have a lot this year. I had passed all 11 of my O.W.L.S., but there were no Time-Turners available. Apparently, Harry's group smashed all of them last year in the Department of Mysteries. I would have been the only one in the group not to have cut Care of Magical Creatures if a class was available. After awhile, I looked up, done with my work, to see Danielle and Luke watching me. They had seen me at the beginning of the year, and then my sudden turn around to back to normal, and I knew that if they weren't worried, they were at least curious. "Be back in a sec," I muttered, getting up, and Ron only grunted. I had made up my mind to at least go over and try to be civil. I stopped in front of them, and for a moment, they only looked at me.

"What happened to you?" Danielle spit out finally.

"It was just like all the rumors. My house was attacked by Inferi." I said plainly.

"Why would they attack _your _house? Your muggleborn," Luke asked, sounding almost disbelieving.

"Because I would really know the answer to that, Luke. It's not like I invited them for tea," I said acidly. I just couldn't believe it- I really had been a bad judge of character with my ex-friends. Luke had never looked down on me for being muggleborn before, but the first thing he said to me again was basically an insult.

"He did have a point you know," Danielle said angrily, only proving my point further. "And I suppose you came over here just because you were jealous, huh?" She said, but lifted her nose in what I suppose was supposed to be a 'proud' gesture.

"Why would I be jealous?" I asked, actually curious.

"We've been dating for a year. Bet that makes you jealous," Danielle said gleefully as Luke took her hand, looking smug.

"I came over here because _you_ were staring. And I don't know how I could ever be jealous of you, a snotty bitch, dating a racist asshole who hits girls. All the happiness to the both of you," I snapped before walking back over to Ron and Hermione, who had been joined by Harry, who reeked of flobberworms. "Hey," I greeted him, sitting on the edge of the coffee table, seeing as he'd unconsciously taken my spot. "You smell absolutely delightful, just to let you know," I tacked on, and he rolled his eyes. But then he saw something past me and looked almost sickened. I turned to look to see Danielle and Luke snogging in a vicious fashion. "Gross," I muttered, turning back to see Harry with his 'icky' face on. "So, how was detention?" I asked, and he groaned.

"Sorting rotten flobberworms from the good ones _without_ gloves didn't really make my night." He said, absentmindedly playing with his tiny bottle of Felix Felices. "Oh, did things go ok with Dumbledore?" He asked, and I almost froze. His mentioning of Dumbledore made me want to try to pinpoint his darkness again, to see if it really was his scar, and if I'd been such a fool all this time.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, it went great," I said distractedly. As Harry dug through his bag, bangs falling in his eyes, I looked closely at his scar. The darkness was still in him, but it seemed to be more in his torso, not in his head. That made me curious, but I looked away as Harry straightened with a slightly mangled quill, a piece of parchment, and a textbook. He immediately started to work. I looked around the Common Room for a moment, tired, before I stood up and Summoned all my things together. It would take me time to try to fall asleep tonight- with all the thoughts pushing in on my head, no matter how I tried to avoid them. With a sigh, I muttered, "Night," before heading for the girl's staircase.

"Hey, Sarah, wait, by the way…Snape said you should show up for Occlumency tomorrow." Harry's voice stopped me before I got far, and I almost swore under my breath before turning and giving Harry a tiny smile, it wasn't his fault that I had to let that greasy git Snape poke in my head.

"Thanks," I said before heading up the staircase, dreading tomorrow already.


	10. Chapter 10

10

Sarah POV

The next morning, Hermione informed me that I had been really restless during the night- more so then I'd been at the Burrow. She was nervous for me, of course, but I assured her that I hadn't been dreaming of anything specific and that I was, as always, fine. At breakfast, I carefully observed Malfoy again. Usually you could hear him and his crones guffawing and being stupid from across the room. But now, even though he had more crones and 'friends' then ever, he was very quiet, distracted, and snippy. I hadn't given much thought as to how I was going to convince him to abandon Voldemort, but as I watched him, I realized it was going to be near impossible. I couldn't speak to him about what I knew, I couldn't plainly say, "I know you're a Death Eater.", or, "I know your plan to assassinate Dumbledore,". None of those were options- so how would I convince him without being able to utter a word? Throughout the day I kept one eye on him, even in my most challenging classes, Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. In Potions, I could tell his mark burning around me threw him off, as it did me. In DADA, the combined effect of him and Snape made it hell. I was always the last in and the first to leave.

At lunch, I made up an excuse to my friends, something about getting something from Gryffindor Tower, and slipped out of the Hall. I had seen Malfoy leave just seconds earlier. I had made up my mind in a split second. My first attempt with him was going to be simple. I would threaten him with the fact that I knew- that was all. It was all I could manage before I knew more about his plan. Following him silently, I noticed that he had a very straight, almost rigid posture, and moved like a ghost- he obviously didn't want to be seen. Up ahead, I could see a tapestry that had a secret passage behind it, and I figured that it'd be best to do this in private. I quickened my pace, drawing my wand. Seconds before he realized he was being followed, I Disarmed him from behind, right in front of the tapestry. He whirled, a snarl on his face as I snatched his wand from the air, raising mine. Bracing myself for the pain, I stepped closer, and both of our jaws clenched at almost the exact same time as our marks burned. "Get in," I ordered, moving him at wandpoint backwards until we were in the secret tunnel. "_Lumos," _I said through gritted teeth as the tapestry closed behind me, leaving us in almost total darkness.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Mudblood?" Draco spat, fists clenched. In such close proximity, he towered over me, even though I was five foot three.

"Shut up and listen," I spat right back. "I know," I said after a deep breath, moving my left hand, and his wand, behind my back to lessen the pain.

"What the hell are you blathering-" He started acidly, but I cut him off.

"Shut it," I snarled, not in the mood. The feather around my neck wasn't doing much good, and my left wrist was aching. "I know what you've become. I know your left arm is burning right now. I know what your plot is, what you're trying to do this year. I know that you're an-" I cut myself off just in time before I tried to utter 'assassin'. I would have gotten the overwhelming pain in my wrist again. "I know what you are." I forced out, feeling my face paling faster and faster. Malfoy had been sneering, but now he stood frozen, his face halfway between a sneer and a scowl, his eyes watching me without contempt, only shock. "Watch yourself." I said as dangerously as possible, throwing his wand at him and stepping back into the corridor, walking briskly back to lunch. Now that I was away from him, my skin was slowly starting to warm again, even though I knew my face would probably stay pale for awhile.

"Did you get what you needed?" Hermione asked, her nose stuck in a book as I sat back down next to her. Then her head shot up as she felt the cold air around me. "Merlin, Sarah, are you alright?" She said, cuing Ron and Harry to cut off their conversation and lean around her.

"She just got a little angry is all. It happens more then you'd think." I reassured them, even though I suddenly realized that this wasn't the first lie I'd have to tell them this year, and certainly not the biggest.

Draco POV

My hand had shot out to catch my wand, but now that I had it I stood perfectly still again, trying to stop my frantically beating heart. Snape had been right in telling me to avoid her- she _knew._ Somehow the filthy little Mudblood had figured out that I was a Death Eater- and she knew my mission this year. At first, I thought she'd been only bluffing, but when she moved her left wrist farther away from me, almost unconsciously, the pain lessened. Baffled, I stumbled deeper into the secret tunnel she'd unknowingly showed me, trying to force myself to think. How was that possible? The Dark Mark had never burned that strongly, not even when it was first marked on my skin. The only time it had gotten even close to that feeling was when I was around the Dark Lord. _That didn't make __**any**__ sense. _Wimkil was the meekest, quietest, nerdiest Mudblood in the school. There was no way that she was connected to the Death Eaters.

I would have gone to Professor Snape, but he'd only told me to avoid her at all costs; he wouldn't speak of it anymore no matter how hard I pressed him. He was the only other person at Hogwarts I'd be able to talk to about the Dark Mark burning around her. Scowling, I set off down the tunnel, not because I was curious to see where it went, but because I couldn't return to the Great Hall now. I had too much to think about. If I really thought about it, pictured her from last year to this year, there was a drastic difference. She had lost a lot of weight, she was pale most of the time, and at the beginning of the year she had looked like she'd received the Dementors Kiss for Merlin's sake. Something had definitely happened to her, but how and why it had happened to her I intended to find out. It had something to do with her left arm…

Sarah POV

The rest of my day was surprisingly nice. Despite how shaken I was after the Malfoy confrontation, Hogwarts was still keeping my spirits up. Even though I could still feel where Snape and Malfoy were in the castle at all times, I still felt safe- and happy, especially when we were far apart. During History of Magic, Hermione fell asleep, bless her, and it gave me time to think hard about what my next move with Draco was going to be. I completely ignored Professor Binns's lecture- he was reviewing the Goblin Wars anyway. I had bluffed with Malfoy a little- I had told him I knew his plan- something I didn't actually know. Voldemort might have trusted Malfoy to kill Dumbledore, but I knew (unfortunately) that Voldemort would want to kill Harry himself. Therefore, Malfoy would either have to kidnap Harry out of Hogwarts, which was pretty much impossible, or bring someone here to do it for him. The only group with enough power who wanted Harry dead was the rest of the Death Eaters. But since Hogwarts was pretty much impenetrable this year, how would he get them in? It's not like they could Apparate to Hogsmade and skip over to the castle. He couldn't Floo them in, and would have a hell of a time breaking the enchantments around the castle. _How would he get them in? _I couldn't think of anyway for him to do it that was practical and at all realistic. The bell rang and both Hermione and I jerked, for completely different reasons. "How could you let me fall asleep?" She wailed quietly, nearly dragging me out of the classroom. "We were reviewing the Goblin Wars, those are _fascinating!"_

"Hermione," I said seriously, planting my feet to make her stop. "Think about what you just said, and then you'll figure out why I let you sleep."

"Oh, shut up," Hermione muttered, flushing but grinning at the same time. For awhile, we walked towards Gryffindor Tower in silence. "I hate to break your good mood, but you do remember that you have Occlumency tonight, right?" She reminded me gently, and I groaned, smacking my forehead. I accidentally did it with my left hand and gave myself an instant headache. Lovely.

"I did forget," I admitted, once again cursing _her _and Snape vigorously in my head. "Looks like no homework for me tonight," I tried to say it cheerfully, but considering I was grimacing it was no surprise that Hermione didn't believe me.

"Are they really that bad? I thought Harry was just being Harry, you know, a bit _sensitive _around Snape." Hermione said anxiously, and I laughed, but it was hollow.

"Harry probably had it worse, he hates Snape more than I do, and he has worse memories than me. When you make a mistake Snape sees memories in your head, a lot of them private. He doesn't do it on purpose," I said hastily, seeing Hermione's eyes flash, "but it's hard to continue when he sees things that make you…emotional." I summarized, feeling the dread start up again. When I was working that hard and when I was that stressed the feather never worked. I certainly had an unpleasant evening in store…

**OoOoOoO**

"Enter," Snape's curt voice snapped when I knocked on the door to his office. I stepped in and closed the door, my posture stiffening as I walked over to his desk. Instantly I could tell that he wasn't in the best of moods. But before I could move to sit down, he Vanished the chair and stood, drawing his wand. "Perhaps tonight you can remember to _block._" He said irritably, as if it was my fault it was only my second lesson. "You'll need your wand," He sneered, and I shot him a dark glare before drawing it. I didn't know what his problem was tonight, but this was hard enough on me already. His attitude wasn't going to make it any easier. "Focus. _Legilimens!" _He almost snarled. This time, my eyes snapped shut, and I put a black empty void in front of my head, blocking where the invasive spell was coming from with all my might. I barely heard him scoff and it made me angry. Out of the empty wall I outstretched talons towards his spell, a warning to _back off._ It faltered for a moment, then pushed mercilessly stronger. _Block!_ I thought wildly behind my defenses, and my wand hand twitched, as if I was going to raise it. But thinking about defending myself was too much to balance with the wall, and it broke.

_It was my first year at Hogwarts. Danielle was standing over me and I had just noticed her; I had been too absorbed in my book to see her before hand. "Hey, wanna be friends?" She asked, almost a demanding tone._

"_Why?" The younger me asked in surprise. She snorted._

"_It's not like you've got a whole lot of other options, dweeb. Besides, you can help my other friend Luke out- he's pretty much brainless."_

I inhaled sharply, raising my wand halfway and managing to force the memory away from him at the same time, but his spell latched onto another one-

"_I'm not a douchebag, so yes, I do." I said defiantly, eyes flashing with anger, glaring at Luke. His eyes darkened fast, and something hard, his knuckles, suddenly slapped across my face. The blow nearly knocked off my glasses and made my cheekbone throb-_

My wand was fully raised now, but my hand was trembling, I suddenly couldn't remember the spell-

_Laughing, carefree, I pumped harder with my legs. I was at Gramercy Park with my Mother- my favorite place. The swingsets were always super fun. I pumped until I was the highest I'd ever gotten. Then with a shriek of laughter, I slid off the seat, flying through the air. Soaring through the space I felt free. It was the best feeling in the world. Slowly, I got closer to the ground until I rolled a few more feet to a stop. Grinning, I bolted to my feet and checked the distance. I had made it almost all the way to the merry-go-round, almost twenty feet! "**Sarah!**" Mother shouted, running over from her spot on a park bench, dropping the magazine she'd been reading. Instantly my face burned with shame. She had told me to stop it- but the swingset was my favorite! Mother was kneeling in front of me then, her face angry. "We told you to stop it, Sarah!" She yelled, taking be my the shoulders and giving me a hard shake. "You do not jump off the swingset like that, not now, not **ever!** Do you understand me?" She gave me another shake. _

"_But, Mother, it's my favorite!" I heard myself say quietly, desperately. How could I make her understand that I couldn't help it?_

"_I don't care," Mother barked, getting up, taking my wrist and jerking me away. "If you can't follow the rules and be normal then you can't come back. We're leaving."_

"_PROTEGO!" _ I shouted with all of my might, and there was a bang. When my vision cleared, Snape was pressed against the back wall of his office, scowling from behind a very large shield charm. Seconds later I felt my chest heaving as if I'd run a mile, and my eyes were wet. My skin was ice cold and my face was most likely pale. I quickly lowered my wand and swiped the tears away before they could fall.

"Well, it was better. This isn't about endurance, not about how long you can hold it, Wimkil. This is about stopping it before _that_ happens." Snape mocked.

"With all due respect, Professor, this is only my second lesson." I said through gritted teeth, looking away. Snape snorted, sitting at his desk.

"Come back every Wednesday night." He said peevishly, signaling that our conversation was over. His words were still in the air as I gratefully slipped out, walking briskly until I was far enough away to feel better. My head felt like it was spinning it hurt so bad- but I felt more like myself compared to last time. With a shaky sigh, I started for Gryffindor Tower.


	11. Chapter 11

11

Sarah POV

"Sarah, you look terrible." Was the first thing Ron said as Hermione and I joined him and Harry for breakfast. Thanks to Snape's lesson I had barely gotten any sleep. I felt faded, like a photograph that was left in the sun. I was pale again- and it was getting harder and harder to bounce back from the lessons. Hopefully since they were now every Wednesday, I could be normal for the rest of the week. To try and make myself look a bit more presentable, I'd taken my time braiding my hair by magic, so that it curled smoothly, like a giant brunette snake down the left side of my neck and torso, stopping almost at my waist. I'd slapped my cheeks repeatedly, hoping for a color other than white, but it had no effect whatsoever. My bags were usually hid by my glasses, but they were so dark that they were easily spotted.

"Very polite, Ron," Hermione said acidly, prodding me to sit.

"Oi! I was just saying!" Ron shot back indignantly, waving his fork in the air. I couldn't help it, I laughed at him.

"It's a day off- why don't we go to Hogsmade?" Harry suggested mildly over the two as they started to bicker.

"It's cold out there, but it'd probably do them some good," I said with mock sorrow, watching Ron wave his fork with increasing velocity, the sausage on it almost falling off.

Hogsmade turned out to be lovely, even in the cold. I hadn't noticed it as much before, but the village, even in the coldest of winters, was so lively and cheerful that it brightened my mood instantly. Hermione suggested we get a drink at the Three Broomsticks and I instantly agreed, feeling colder than usual despite my good cheer. I gratefully went into the bar, leaving my coat on even though the place was warm. My skin was like ice- it seemed that I now retained cold. "Jeez, Sarah, you're skin is freezing." Hermione noted as she passed us all a butterbeer and our fingers touched for a second. I shrugged and cupped my bottle of butterbeer, willing some of the heat to seep into my skin. Ron kept staring hopefully at Madam Rosmerta (apparently he had a crush), making Hermione watch _him_ almost constantly, drumming her fingers on the table. If I had any doubts about her liking Ron, they just flew out the window. Slightly bored, I glanced around the pub as Katie Bell passed through my vision, heading for the loo. The place was packed with people, and a few Hogwarts students were here or there, Blaise Zabini leaning against a column, Seamus Finnigan and a group of Gryffindor boys playing Exploding Snap in the corner…the place was nice, I'd admit. Suddenly, I jumped about a foot in the air, upending my butterbeer when I felt the presence of a Death Eater _very_ nearby. It was darker than usual, making my hands tremble instantly. Luckily, Harry (who was observing Ginny snogging Dean Thomas in a corner with a very ugly look on his face), Ron (who was still ogling Madam Rosmerta), and Hermione (who was still looking at Ron) didn't notice.

"Should we head back to the school then?" I asked after I'd Vanished my spilled butterbeer, seeing that everyone else was finished. There was murmured assent, and I got my friends out of there as fast as I could without looking suspicious, following Katie Bell and her friend out the door. As we hurried back to school, eager to get out of the cold, my anxiety increased. The darkness had only gotten stronger, not counting Harry. I glanced around, but the howling wind and snow made it impossible to see anything but the path ahead, where Katie Bell and her friend were walking. It seemed to be coming _from _them. As I realized this, I halted abruptly, making Ron's loose arm around my shoulders fall.

"Something's not right." I said sharply before they could ask. Seconds later, Katie Bell rose about six feet into the air down the path, supported by nothing.

"Bloody hell-" Ron got out before Katie Bell started shrieking terrified, piercing screams that seemed to never end. We rushed over as her friend jumped for her ankle, sobbing, trying to pull her down. Ron and Harry joined her, but I stayed back, eyeing the torn package she'd been carrying as she left the Three Broomsticks. Then Katie fell, writhing as if she was being burned alive, and, caught by surprise, Harry and Ron almost dropped her. Then Harry pelted past me, running towards the school, for help. Time seemed to be blurring like the snowy scene around us as my eyes seemed to freeze on what I finally recognized as a necklace in the wrappings of Katie's package. It seemed to whisper to me, _touch me, touch me,_ with the same rhythm of a beating heart; as if it was alive. Moments later, Harry came back, with Hagrid in tow. Katie was still thrashing, and as Hagrid went to scoop her up, I suddenly felt Ron next to me, stretching out a hand to touch the necklace. I threw my arm out and held him back, snapping out of it.

"Don't touch it, whatever you do. That thing is evil." I said just as sharply as before. Harry shot me a look before undoing his scarf and carefully wrapping up the necklace.

"We have to show it to Madam Pompfrey." He said, almost as an apology. As we started to walk back to the school I was silent, looking only ahead, my face as white as the snow. I was starting to piece together what had happened already. The Death Eater presence had to have been Malfoy, and the extra evil I had sensed was the necklace. Katie's friend had been sobbing, saying that Katie hadn't been acting like herself, and had immediately insisted that she deliver the mysterious package to someone at the school. It was blatantly obvious to me what had happened now. This was Malfoy's first attempt at murdering Dumbledore. He'd failed, but it could easily kill Katie- an innocent girl who had nothing to do with all of this. Deep rage rose in me for what he'd done, what he'd tried to do. "Sarah?" Harry asked, taking in my fierce expression with slight apprehension, but I could tell that he had something to say.

"Yes?" I asked, trying to soften the tone of my voice. That necklace was driving me mad.

"That day at Diagon Alley, when we followed Malfoy to Borgin and Burkes, I bet you anything he was buying this necklace. I recognize it- it was for sale there- and he bought something that day. I think he went back for it." Harry said strongly, watching me for my reaction.

"You're blaming Malfoy for this," I repeated with a hint of disbelief, wishing I could tell him that I agreed for reasons I wouldn't be able to explain. Anger pounded in my head, worse than a headache. I vowed to track Malfoy down and give him another threat, a piece of my mind.

"McGonagall!" Ron warned as we stepped into the Entrance Hall, saving me from Harry's furious answer. She directed Filch to take the necklace, still wrapped in Harry's scarf, to Snape but then bid us come with Katie's friend to her office. Katie's friend told all of the story she could before she collapsed into sobs again, leaving us to finish the story. Then, of course, Harry had to go and blame Malfoy.

"I think Draco Malfoy gave Katie that necklace, Professor. Sarah can feel dark things, and she was jumpy in the Three Broomsticks, where we were, and then she told us something was wrong as we followed Katie and Leanne right before Katie was cursed." Harry said, and I threw a furious glance at him. I'd been wrong, he had noticed how uncomfortable I'd suddenly gotten- but he couldn't use _me_ as evidence to support his theory!

"Is this true, Ms. Wimkil?" Professor McGonagall asked carefully, turning to look at me. All of the teachers had avoided me when they saw how awful I'd been looking, and McGonagall was no exception- particularly because she knew why I looked the way I did; she knew that Harry's claim might be worth something.

"Professor, it's true, but all it proves was that the necklace was in the Three Broomsticks and in the package, things we already know. I don't see how it would involve Malfoy." I said, throwing Harry another glare when Professor McGonagall turned away to sit at her desk. Harry looked taken aback but frowned at me- as if he'd been counting on me to prove his point. McGonagall basically brushed Harry off before shooing us out of her office so that she could go check on Katie. As soon as we were alone, Harry, Ron and Hermione began to heatedly discuss what they thought happened. I only listened, too heartbroken because I couldn't tell them the truth and too angry at Malfoy to trust myself to speak.

"So who do you reckon Katie was supposed to give the necklace to?" Ron asked as we climbed the steps to the Common Room.

"Who ever it was had a lucky break," Hermione said, taking off her gloves as we climbed. "They wouldn't be able to open the package without touching the necklace."

"It could've been meant for loads of people," Harry interjected. "Dumbledore—The Death Eaters would love to get rid of him, he's probably one of their top targets-" I lurched visibly as he hit the nail right on the head, but the three were too engrossed to notice my reaction. "-Or Slughorn, he used to teach Death Eaters- or-"

"Or you," Hermione said with a frown.

"Then wouldn't she have just turned around and given it to me? It makes no sense for her to have taken it into the castle; I wonder why Malfoy told her to do that." Harry said, brow furrowed.

"Harry, you can't prove it was him," I said as calmly as possible, ready to burst at the seams with all the secrets and emotion I was keeping.

"Why not? You jumped about a mile all of a sudden in the Three Broomsticks- you had the same reaction you always do to walking past Snape- it's when you know a Death Eater's around." Harry argued.

"That's not true, I jumped because I felt the necklace, not a Death Eater." I lied, but completed my rebuttal with a reprimand. "Harry, I don't want you using my reactions to dark material as justification for your hatred against Malfoy anymore. You can't prove it, end of story." I chastised him, and he blinked, looking stunned at my swift remark.

"Why don't you like talking about Malfoy?" He pressed, a new light in his eyes, as if he was finally getting down to the bottom of something he'd wanted to for a long time. "Ever since I mentioned it at the Burrow you haven't wanted a single part in it, and then after your seizure you've flat out refused to talk about it! Didn't you feel it in that hallway and realize that he was a Death Eater?" He demanded, stopping us in the middle of a hallway and looking at me with intense interest. _Yes, that's exactly what happened! _My mind screamed, and I cringed on the inside, realizing I had to lie to his face when he'd just uncovered the truth.

"I don't want to talk about it because it's madness. Drop it," I urged him, my voice cold, and I walked on to the portrait hole, said the password, and walked into Gryffindor Tower without another word. I went right up to the girl's dormitory, shedding my coat and scarf, then gloves, revealing more of my cold, white skin. My close proximity to the necklace had made me even worse. My head was still aching, and my left wrist felt itchy. I rubbed the spot absentmindedly, still covered by the hand-knitted band from Mrs. Weasley.

"It's not about that, Harry! It's because you upset her!" I heard Hermione cry in near frustration at the foot of the stairs. Then I heard her footsteps. Moments later, Hermione came in, taking off her winter clothes too. "That hurt, didn't it?" Hermione asked, and I almost froze when she asked me. What was it with my friends knowing everything all of a sudden? "It's ok, Sarah. Honestly." Hermione comforted me, and I flashed her a weak smile, trying to drown the huge roar of guilt that shot through me. I couldn't tell her how wrong it was of her to comfort me- I couldn't tell them _anything._

"I'm fine. It's just a touchy subject." I said simply, hoping my voice didn't shake and betray me. Hermione beamed.

"Then let's go back down, I'll bet the boys are all huffy. Besides, dinner should be served soon." She insisted, and prodded me back down the steps. The boys had already left for dinner, so I only had to tell Hermione that I needed to use the loo to get myself alone. Then I simply closed my eyes and felt deep into the state of the place. One prick of darkness, Snape, which was stronger since he had the necklace, was in his office, far away. The other, Malfoy, was on the fifth floor, rapidly heading upwards. Frantic, I sprinted for a secret passage Ron, Harry, and Hermione had showed me last year on the Marauders Map. Some sprinting and cursing later, I caught up to him on the sixth floor, which was basically deserted. Thanks to my new knowledge of the passageways, I was ahead of Malfoy in the hallway. As he got closer, I only got angrier. I whipped out my wand and then stalked out of my tapestry right as he passed by, so that my wand was instantly at his neck.

"I told you not to do it," the voice that came from me was furious as Malfoy turned, looking less angry this time and more wearily defensive. "How _dare _you- that could have killed Katie Bell!" I hissed, almost swelling with rage like Mrs. Weasley.

"You can't prove anything, Mudblood." Malfoy shot back- but even for him it was a weak comeback, especially because I was accusing him of attempted murder.

"You make me sick, you disgusting coward. Do you have any shame? You're stupid enough to become one of them, then you agree to try and-" I struggled around the words I wanted to say, but knew I couldn't- "then your plan is so _careless_! You don't care about anyone but yourself, you don't care if anyone else gets hurt-" Malfoy drew his wand and flicked it to _my_ neck, now looking equally as furious as I.

"You don't know a thing, do you, Mudblood? It's an honor to be what I've become- and when the Dark Lord rises again, freaks like you will be killed for fun." He tried to growl it, but I could see his hesitation. Then his voice changed, got almost broken somehow. "You have no idea what it's like. Do you think I had a choice?" His words hung in the air, and for a moment, I couldn't say anything, just feel my pulse in my ears and stare back into Malfoy's now tortured grey eyes. It surprised me that he would basically admit to it so quickly, especially to me. It could be an act, but as we gazed at each other in shocked silence, I felt deep in my bones that it wasn't.

"The Order can protect you," I offered, speaking quietly now. "They protected me this summer and they could protect you- and your family." Speaking almost imploringly, I searched his gaze for a reaction and was disappointed when he snorted, closing back into himself.

"If the job they did with you is any example, I'd rather be unprotected. You looked like a corpse the first week." He said, and I didn't even blink, his words hurting so deep down I thought I'd break down and cry. Looking slightly curious now, he added, "Sorry, but it's true," with no regret in his voice whatsoever. It was so insensitive that I felt my eyes prick- the sign that I was going to cry. "What happened to you?" He suddenly demanded, looking almost…angry? No, this was Draco Malfoy we were talking about here- my concerns were the farthest away from his.

"The offer still stands," I said softly before lowering my wand and slipping back into the passageway, trying to flee from his unconsciously hurtful words.


	12. Chapter 12

12

Sarah POV

I had returned to the Great Hall after my stint with Malfoy, and perhaps it was the look on my face that made Harry believe that he'd really hurt me by asking. That made me feel sick, sick to the core for the lies they believed. The rest of dinner was composed of careful conversation about the Quidditch Game coming up, Slytherin vs. Gryffindor. Ron was still dead nervous, even though we all assured him that he'd be a brilliant player if he'd only forget his nerves and _focus. _The morning of, Hermione was insistent that she saw Harry spike Ron's drink with Felix Felices; something that was punishable by expulsion. My nose had been in a book at the time, secretly scanning the hall for Malfoy, so I hadn't noticed anything. Harry refused to even accept Hermione's claim, being very blithe about the whole thing. Acting neutral, I joined Hermione in the stands, half watching and half daydreaming. I'd expected Malfoy to be playing- he was the Slytherin seeker after all- but he had a replacement, which instantly made me suspicious. Where was he, what was so important to do when the whole school was at the Quidditch Pitch? Hermione scoffed under her breath, trying to look mad but cheering and clapping whenever Ron saved a goal. I wasn't actually sure if Harry had spiked his drink- he'd been a little frosty with me this morning. As we got farther and farther away from the Hogsmade incident, he'd became almost suspicious of me, bringing up Malfoy at times with Ron across the table and then frequently looking my way, as if he expected me to burst suddenly and tell all of the things he thought I was keeping from him. It hurt because Harry was dead on his game. He didn't deserve to be lied to, none of my friends did, but I couldn't tell them the truth anyway.

I spent most of the game brooding; Hermione watching Ron with large eyes- we barely paid attention to each other. Gryffindor won at the last second when Harry caught the Snitch somehow when the Slytherin seeker blasted right past it. "I've made up my mind." Hermione almost had to shout in my ear, the crowd around us was roaring in appreciation. "I want to talk to Harry about spiking Ron's drink. Will you come with me?" She asked hopefully. I couldn't help but break a smile; Hermione's thoughts, heart and actions never coincided very well together.

"Of course, but, remember- I'm neutral in this." I said, and she shot me a look.

"I don't know how you can not have an opinion about this." She said, marching along the stands. Since everyone was headed back to the school, getting down to the changing rooms was relatively easy. Old members of the Slytherin Quidditch team glared at me as we passed- they still hated my guts, and vice versa. Hermione waited nervously outside as members of the Quidditch Team walked by- neither of them Harry or Ron, until there was a long stretch when no one else came out. "I guess we'll have to go in," I said, opening the door, letting Hermione go first. She hesitantly slipped in. I joined her, looking around. I had never been in the changing rooms- they smelled like sweaty socks. Ron had his jumper halfway over his head, and Harry was putting on his glasses, his hair damp.

"Harry, I want to talk to you. You shouldn't have done it, you heard Slughorn. It's illegal." Hermione said, sounding scared that she was actually accusing Harry.

"What are you going to do, turn us in?" Ron demanded. I shot him a look, coming over to sit on the bench.

"Ron, that's why everything went right! That's why Slytherin players were missing and you saved everything!" Hermione said, sounding near hysterical. I raised a hand in front of Ron to keep him from stalking forward and getting in Hermione's face.

"I didn't put it in." Harry said, grinning broadly, and pulled the vial out of his jumper pocket. The top was still tightly sealed with wax. "I just made you think that I did so that you'd have the confidence. It was all you, Ron." Harry said, still grinning like an idiot. Both Hermione and Ron blinked. Then Ron turned red in the face.

"_That's why everything went right, Ron!" _He mimicked, turning to face Hermione, hands clenched. I stood up, putting a light hand on Ron's shoulder, which he ignored. "What, you didn't think that I could do it, did you?" He snatched his broomstick from his locker, slammed the door, and snatched my hand by the wrist, talking loudly about how fun the party was going to be. Apparently he didn't notice how he grabbed my _left_ wrist. I felt my face instantly twist, but before I could pull against Ron and free myself, we were out of the locker room.

"Hey, Ron, _Ron-_" I pulled out of his grip but kept walking with him. He didn't even notice, just kept stalking angrily away. "Ron, you know that Hermione didn't mean it that way. You were just as shocked as she was when you heard that you hadn't been given lucky potion." I reminded him gently. He just huffed and kept walking.

"We were _brilliant._ I was brilliant. Yeah," I heard him mumble, almost to himself.

"You listen to me, Ronald Weasley. If you apologize to Hermione, she'll apologize to you. I guarantee it. It makes a guy look stronger." I tacked on, desperate for him to go for it. Hermione _really_ cared about Ron, and this would tear them apart for probably half the year.

"Why should I apologize?" Ron asked, and he almost cowered under the look I gave him. "Fine, whatever," he mumbled. Not entirely convinced, especially because my wrist was still sore, I purposely walked closer to him all the way up to the Common Room, to make him more aware of what I wanted him to do. But once we entered the Common Room and the roar of the appreciative Gryffindor's hit him, Ron ditched me quickly for a crowd of admirers. With a sigh, I curled up in an armchair by the fire with a butterbeer, inconspicuously pulling down the knit band and pressing my mark to the heat. I could tell when Harry arrived, the crowd cheered again as he entered, and half the room converged around the portrait hole; I couldn't even see him. I gradually sipped my butterbeer, wondering where Hermione was and getting more and more disgusted with Ron. From my spot in the Common Room I could see him clearly, getting more and more engaged with Lavender Brown. They started violently snogging and I turned away, unable to watch, feeling my heart break already for Hermione. Then Harry stumbled out of the crowd next to me-his hair wild from the pressing crowd and looking rather bemused and almost irritated.

"Sarah!" He said, sounding almost relieved. He sat down in front of me, conjuring a chair.

"Looking for Ron?" I asked almost bitterly, then jerked my thumb in his direction. Harry looked over and his eyes doubled by about two sizes. I grimaced, looking away from Ron to see the portrait hole closing, some bushy brown hair whipping out of sight. "Shit," I muttered, getting up and setting my almost empty bottle of butterbeer on the floor by my chair. "I'll be back, don't end up like Ron," I said hastily, then ducked through the crowds and made it out of the Common Room. The hallway was empty, but when I walked farther along, I could hear Hermione cast a spell softly in an empty classroom. I slipped inside. She looked up, then looked down, her eyes slightly red. She was standing with her shoulders hunched, as if there was a cold wind. "_Pennipotenti." _I cast, seeing the tiny birds flying around her. Her birds were a bright yellow color. Mine blossomed out of thin air and were an exotic purple. They mingled with hers.

"I-I thought we would-" Hermione started, then burst into tears. I enfolded her in a hug and let her cry. She was only crying for about thirty seconds when the door opened. Laughing, Ron and Lavender came in, hands entwined, clearly looking for a private place to snog.

"Oops!" Lavender said cheerfully, not at all bothered by the fact that I was comforting someone who was crying. She breezed out, pulling the door shut. However, Ron stayed, watching us with wide eyes. I shot him a death glare, silently saying, _I told you so!_ Hermione jerked off my shoulder, frantically swiping at her eyes, apologizing to me when she saw Ron. She took one look at my angry face and then looked at the birds, clearly suggesting that we attack him. I gave a quick nod and raised my wand.

"_Oppugno!" _We said together, Hermione's voice broken, mine furious. Our birds, who had been twittering sweetly and flying in circles turned and formed an arrowhead formation, flying at Ron. They started attacking every bit of him they could reach. "Come on, Hermione," I said firmly, putting an arm around her and escorting her out, past Ron, who was beating at the birds with strangled yells of surprise and pain.

I thought for sure this was the end of their friendship, and mine too with Ron. He had scratches and cuts all over his arms, hands and face from the birds, but that didn't stop Lavender Brown from practically sucking his face off. I didn't leave Hermione's side for a minute, and I boosted her self esteem by telling her some very untrue and rather rude things about Lavender Brown, which seemed to lighten her spirits. But whenever I built Hermione back up, Ron knocked her back down. In Transfiguration, when we were working on transfiguring the color of our eyebrows, he imitated her in such a cruel way that Harry had to seize my wrist to keep me from hexing him. Harry's conduct had actually surprised me. He was carefully balancing between Ron and Hermione and I. I had all my classes with Hermione, whereas he didn't have as many. But at night, while Ron was getting his snog on, he'd come to the library with us. He was still suspicious of me, but since I hadn't been after Malfoy in awhile, he didn't have any new reasons to suspect. Unfortunately, groups of girls seemed to be literally stalking Harry everywhere he went, which made finding a private place difficult. Christmas got closer and closer. Slughorn was apparently having a Christmas party, and since both Harry and Hermione were invited, they needed to find dates. That made Hermione incredibly bitter, looking for the person who would tick Ron off the most, and it made Harry really awkward- he still had no idea what to do with girls, even though I knew that he fancied Ginny.

My Occlumency lessons were still hell. I was learning to block my mind and then block Snape, but he usually saw at least two memories every lesson. Hermione and I were holding each other together- every day after Wednesday for the rest of the week I was an absolute mess, and Hermione was hurt almost all week long. One night, after my Occlumency lesson, I went down to the library to meet up with Harry and Hermione, taking turns rubbing my forehead to soothe my headache and the mark just out of habit. Both ached and smarted terribly. I slipped into the library and found them easily- it was late, and they were the only ones in there. "Hey," I said tiredly, resting on the arm of Hermione's chair.

"I'm taking McLaggen to the Christmas Party." Hermione said. She used this tactic all the time to take my mind off of reviewing my memories for Snape- she thought up the wildest and craziest things. Usually we'd get a good laugh out of it- I think her last one was that Madam Pince and Filch were having a secret love affair.

"Hilarious," I said with a weak smile, still rubbing my forehead.

"I'm serious." She said, and my hand dropped. She flushed a little seeing my expression, and Harry grimaced at his book- apparently he already knew.

"_What?"_ I demanded, getting off the arm of her chair so that I could face her. "Are you mad?"

"It'll anger Ron the most, that's honestly all I care about right now. Don't look at me like that." Hermione snapped, gathering her books.

"Hermione, we've been down this road before, remember? Getting revenge didn't exactly work for us. Please don't- it'll just make Ron worse." I pleaded with her, but she just shrugged, her signal for me to drop it, and swept out of the library. "Oh, for Merlin's sake," I sighed, falling into Hermione's vacated chair and letting my head fall back, closing my eyes. My brow stayed furrowed, and seconds later, my hand snuck back up to rub my left temple as it throbbed.

"Will you go with me?" I heard Harry ask after a moment of silence. I cracked an eye open. Harry was watching me, looking slightly nervous. "I mean as friends, we'd go as friends, but- I need to say I'm going with someone so girls will back _off._" He said, sounding wearily irritated, and I laughed softly, closing the eye.

"Of course I'll go. Hermione will need someone to hide behind anyway." I agreed, standing up and almost running smack into Peeves, who'd been skulking around behind us.

"_Oooh! Potty asked Wimky to the party! Potty lurves Wimky!" _He cackled, and sped out of the library, saying it at almost the top of his lungs.

"It's good to keep things like this private," Harry said sarcastically, packing up his stuff.

"I'll curse him if you want," I said offhandedly, and he chuckled weakly, holding the door of the library for me. Of course, word got out in about half a day, and soon, I was getting resentful glares in the hallways, and gossip was practically rampant in the hallways. All I knew was that Christmas couldn't come any faster…


	13. Chapter 13

13

Sarah POV

The day of Slughorn's Christmas Party dawned, and Hermione insisted that since we had the day off we should spend all day getting ready. It was a little joke between us; both of us were going with people that we weren't interested in, so we were going to look stunning for no apparent reason. I ended up in a dress my parents had bought me for a cocktail party with their other snobby friends. It was a deep red, almost scarlet in color, with a short bubbly skirt and a silk black bow around the waist. I hated it because it was strapless and made my white skin look even whiter, but Hermione insisted that it was a bombshell of a dress and I had to wear it. **(Picture on profile****) **Hermione, on the other hand, went bolder than usual. She had picked out a dress from a catalog. It was strapless, and a teal blue, with an interestingly cut front that overlapped each other like petals. The rest of the skirt was straight. **(Picture on profile****)**

Once she insisted that I couldn't back out and charm my normal robes to look more dressy, she tackled my long hair. I _always_ wore my hair in braids for pretty much everything. But this time, Hermione forced herself on my poor hair, charming and waving her wand, locks of it going this way and that. I was convinced that she was making it look 'eclectic' which meant 'ugly', but I was impressed when she showed me it in a mirror. It was beautiful, locks of my hair making a crisscrossed pattern all down the rest of my hair, which was half up and falling around itself. **(Picture on profile****) **As revenge, I did something Hermione normally never did- I put her hair in a messy, elegant bun. **(Picture on profile****) **

I almost skipped over makeup entirely; I didn't use any actual products. While Hermione messed around with the Muggle method, I used transfiguration and tricky spells to do everything by magic. Then I transfigured the band from Mrs. Weasley into a gold and silver cuff bracelet; also transfiguring an old necklace to match. By that time, I knew that Harry and Cormac would be waiting for Hermione and I, so I dragged her away from a mirror and down the girls' staircase. We purposefully didn't look at Ron, even though we looked at him out of the corner of our eyes. He was sitting dumbstruck in an armchair, his quill pressed to his parchment and making a black splotch. Cormac was lounging in an armchair as well, but sat bolt upright when he saw Hermione. Harry hadn't seen us yet, he was standing by the fireplace, watching the flames.

"I'll see you in a bit. And remember, if you need me, come and find me and we'll disappear." I told Hermione before leaving her to greet McLaggen, her unfortunate and undeserving date. I walked right past Ron, who was now hunched over his paper, and tapped Harry on the shoulder. "Ready?" I asked him, and he did a double take.

"Wow, erm, yeah, I'm ready." Harry said, then flushed almost the same color as my dress.

"Then let's go," I said simply. He held the portrait hole for me (such a gentleman), and then lightly hooked arms with me as the first packs of girls started to appear in the hallways, giving me death glares. "You're certainly popular," I said after one group of girls broke down sobbing after we'd passed.

"I guess you're making them jealous. You look really great tonight. That's ingenious," he said, tapping the bracelet with his hand. I grinned- it felt really good to get dressed up after all the hard work and emotional struggle I'd been having since school started.

"Now, now, save that for Ginny." I said quietly, and Harry nearly choked on nothing at all. "Come on, Harry. To a girl who is your friend and is around you everyday, it's obvious."

"She's dating Dean though," Harry said, not at all masking his distaste. I considered telling him about the conversation I'd had with Ginny at the burrow during the summer, and how I'd noticed the change in her expression when she brought up Harry. But I decided to keep it a secret unless Harry really needed a boost of morale.

"That shouldn't stop you. Besides, Ginny and Dean have been on tenderhooks for weeks. It's only a matter of time." I said. The rest of the way there, we talked about the vampire that was supposed to be in attendance. As we got closer, we both started to dread going as we heard the loud music, laughter and talking. Once we squeezed our way inside the door, we got a good look at the room. It was packed with people, and a band was singing loudly in the corner. It was stuffy and noisy, the air filled with slight smoke from a group of warlocks smoking in a corner.

"Harry, m'boy!" Slughorn nearly shouted as soon as we were inside the door. He came over and immediately took Harry's arm and pulled him into the party. Harry latched onto my hand and pulled me with them. He led Harry over to a small bespectacled man who was standing next to the gaunt emaciated man who had to have been the vampire. As the other man shook Harry's hand with surprising vigor, the vampire looked at me and his expression changed from bored to slightly interested. Up close and personal, my mark was burning around him considering he was a dark creature.

"You look like my kind, emanate like my kind," he said abruptly, his voice deep and throaty, slightly accented.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked politely as possible, moving my left arm behind my back. Missing nothing, he grinned, flashing his fangs without realizing.

"You are not pure," he purred, getting a hungry look in his eyes. Before I could reply, Harry seized my arm again and pulled me through the crowd, away from the vampire, Slughorn and the other man.

"What was that for?" I panted, then grinned as Hermione came back into view. Harry had followed her through the party. She looked slightly harassed, having been hiding between two members of the Weird Sisters.

"I've just escaped, well, I just left Cormac. We were under the mistletoe." She elaborated, seeing my confusion.

"That's what you get for coming with him." Harry said with a hint of severity in his voice.

"I thought he'd annoy Ron the most. Here, let's go over here, we'll be able to see if he's coming better-" She grabbed Harry, who latched onto me again and pulled us along to a more deserted area of the party. We found ourselves next to Professor Trelawney, who was alone and smelled overpoweringly like cooking sherry.

"Hello, my dear," she said dreamily to me, forcing me to converse with her. Harry and Hermione started in a heated discussion in my absence, so I forced a smile on my face in response. "In class, I have noticed that you wane with the moon! I feel as if you have a future in Divination, my dear!" She said, her voice wavering with exultation.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Professor, but it's just an illness I'm trying to get over," I lied on the spot, and she tutted in sympathy.

"Why yes, I've been reading tea leaves for you, and a dark presence has been showing up every time! This illness, is it very serious?" She asked just as Harry turned around abruptly to join us, Hermione streaking away and hiding again. Harry looked at me curiously, obviously wondering what we were talking about. I was saved by Trelawney jumping Harry, demanding to know why he'd left the 'noble' art of Divination. As she blustered about how important her subject should be to Harry, I inhaled sharply, feeling my mark sting again; a Death Eater was here. I hoped that it was just Snape and not Malfoy. Both Trelawney and Harry turned to look at me, Harry with worry, Trelawney with renewed excitement when Slughorn's voice boomed over to us. He appeared at my shoulder, his eyes slightly bloodshot.

"Ah, Sybil, we all think our subject's the most important! But I don't think I've ever known such a natural at Potions!" He crowed, patting Harry heavily on the shoulder, beaming with pride. Harry ignored him and looked at me, still questioning, but I shook my head silently, letting him know I was alright. "Instinctive, you know, like his mother! I've ever only taught a few with this ability, Sybil, why- even Severus—" He reached over and broke my eye contact with Harry by scooping Snape out of nowhere and putting him right next to me. I quickly sidestepped to make room, moving my left arm as far away as possible. Trapped under Slughorn's arm, Snape merely pressed his left arm to his side and narrowed his eyes at Harry as Slughorn described how much of a genius he was at Potions. As they went on, I felt the only other Death Eater at Hogwarts get closer and closer to the party, and I felt my skin losing more and more color, even though I'd charmed my face to have a rosier complexion for the party.

"Feeling alright there, Wimkil?" Slughorn said with too much bravado to make me feel any better, stopping the conversation between Harry and Snape. I felt Malfoy enter the room and my face turned white.

"It's that mysterious illness! I've read it in her tea leaves, Horace- it's a sign!" Trelawney said with an air of drama, holding me arms length by the shoulders, ignoring Harry's alarmed look in my direction and Snape shifting. As Malfoy got closer to us, I felt my hands start to tremble, I quickly ducked out of Trelawney's hold and almost immediately dark spots grew in my vision. They started to grow, and Harry caught my elbow when I swayed slightly.

"Are you ok?" He asked quickly, worry filling what I could see of his face.

"Professor Slughorn," Filch's voice interrupted. Harry turned, still holding my elbow, and saw that Filch was holding Malfoy by the ear, looking triumphant. Harry's eyes flashed back down to me, but I kept staring at his collarbones, fighting the inclination I was feeling to faint. "I found this boy skulking around on the floor above, and he said that he was late setting out to your party. Is that true?" He asked, his jowls quivering in excitement at catching a student breaking the rules.

"Alright, I wasn't invited! I was trying to gate-crash, happy?" Malfoy said angrily. He pulled free out of Filch's grip and to my horror, he snaked his left arm behind his back, something I'd frequently done in Snape's class. I felt Harry's gaze boring into me, but I just closed my eyes, feeling worse.

"I'll take care of this, Horace." Snape interjected smoothly. "Follow me, Draco," He said curtly, and I felt my shoulders relax some as they walked away. This was it- Harry would surely accuse me now of knowing that Malfoy was a Death Eater, or he'd bring it up again and never let it go. There was a pause.

"I think you're date is ill, Harry m'boy." Slughorn said, and Harry jerked to life.

"Yes, I'm sorry to leave sir, thank you for the invite-" He wrapped an arm suddenly around my waist and walked me unsteadily away from the group, but closer to Malfoy and Snape. Once we left the party, cool air hit me in the face and I sagged momentarily, shocked by the temperature. Harry swore under his breath and sat me down on cool hard stone. "Sarah, I know you don't feel good, but _stay_ here, alright? I'll be right back." Then his footsteps were hastening away before I could object. I knew that he was tracking down Snape and Malfoy to listen in on their conversation- they weren't that far away. I let the wall behind me support my weight, and let my head spin freely. It was disgusting, the effect those two had on me in one place. Harry, whose suspicions had been dying recently, would be all over this, using my reaction again as proof. _What am I going to do?_ I thought miserably, hating _her_ now more then ever. Gradually, I let my eyes drift open until they adjusted to the dimly lit hallway. With a tiny groan, I pushed myself up and immediately grabbed the wall for support as my head pounded and the black spots appeared again. I wasn't quite recovered yet from my lesson Wednesday with Snape, but I considered this reaction to the both of them an improvement considering the last time I had a seizure. With my free hand, even though it was my left, I pressed the heel of it to my forehead, closing my eyes.

"Sorry, Sarah, for leaving you, but I had to go." Harry and his voice came out of nowhere as he suddenly reappeared next to me from under the Invisibility Cloak, making me leap about a mile. Harry's arm shot out and caught me again, afraid that I'd faint. "Are you alright?" He asked quieter with a hint of worry when I didn't say anything. The sound of his voice roared in my ears. All I did was gasp softly when Bellatrix suddenly prodded at my mind, wondering if she should attack. Instantly I threw up protective shields I'd learned in Occlumency and braced for the worst. Bellatrix started to push on it, as if to amuse herself, and my knees buckled. Arms caught me around the waist and held me up against a chest as I started to tremble. "Sarah? _Sarah!" _A voice whispered fiercely, sounding frightened, hot breath tickling my ear. Summoning all my strength, I made the talons out of the wall again, piercing into Bellatrix and it made my head spin when she fought to disengage. Seconds later, she was gone. Fighting my shaking knees and a faint, I started to take my weight back.

"M'fine." I slurred, putting my arms on top of Harry's, trying to support myself more. That simple act sent my head spinning again, worse then ever. My arms slipped off and I fainted.


	14. Chapter 14

14

Sarah POV

Disoriented, I sat up. Somehow, I was now in the Common Room. It was very late- later than it had been at the Christmas Party. I was lying on a couch, and the only light in the room was a jar of little blue fire that I recognized as a specialty of Hermione's. I slowly propped myself up, glad that my head felt fine, and no dark spots obscured my vision. Hermione was sitting asleep in an armchair across from me, her dress still on under her bathrobe. Harry was sitting against the couch I was on down by my waist, head back and snoring slightly. I immediately felt a pang of guilt- I should've controlled myself better. I'd fainted way down by Slughorn's office- I had no idea how my friends had reacted or how I'd ended up here. Feeling me stir, Harry's head snapped forwards and he quickly turned towards me. "I'm so sorry," I apologized, and he got to his feet quickly, hearing that my voice was hoarse.

"Are you ok? You didn't have a seizure and Hermione checked your wrist-" I immediately sat up, looking at my wrist. I hadn't felt it before, but the bracelet was gone, and my mark looked hideously ugly and dark in the flickering blue light from Hermione's fire. "-and I thought you were ok but you fainted at Slughorn's office so I just carried you here and-"

"Harry, I'm ok," I said with a weak chuckle, swinging my legs around and standing up. Harry jerked, as if he was going to catch me but then stopped himself.

"What…happened to you…exactly?" Harry said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. I sat back down on the couch and patted the spot next to me. Harry sat, looking at me with slight apprehension.

"Snape was just so…close. I got really dizzy and I felt like fainting the whole time. Bellatrix noticed that, and started putting the pressure on me. I used Occlumency and got her to back off, but it zapped all my energy. I'm so sorry I fainted, it was my fault. I should have told you what was happening." I apologized again, feeling like an idiotic 'damsel in distress' for fainting on Harry. I hated that I was so susceptible to feeling like shit around Death Eaters.

"Don't apologize, I was just worried that you'd have another seizure. It gave me an excuse to leave the party after I got back from listening in on Malfoy and Snape." He changed topics smoothly, and right then I knew that Harry didn't believe me for an instant, and that he was going to wiggle the 'truth' out of me somehow.

"And what'd you find out?" I asked tonelessly, reaching down and taking off my high-heeled shoes.

"Malfoy was refusing to tell Snape what he was up to, but Snape at one point asked him what he was hiding from 'his master'." Harry laid the overwhelming proof right in front of me, and I could feel his gaze boring into me. When I didn't say anything he went on. "And at the party, before Malfoy came in- that was more than a reaction to Snape. You knew he was coming, didn't you?" Unable to take it any longer, I stood up, stooping to seize my shoes. As I started away from him, he got up and caught my arm. "Sarah, _what _is going on? You have to tell me." Harry insisted. I spun in his grasp and nearly shoved my left wrist into his nose. Inside, I was breaking- this would tear Harry and I apart, but what else could I do?

"Do you see this, Harry? Can you imagine feeling ten times worse than you did last year with your scar _all the time?_ Sometimes, I don't even know if what I feel is right. A reaction can happen anywhere and at any time. I don't know if Malfoy is a Death Eater, and I don't care." My voice was hoarse yet, and it cracked halfway through but I kept going. Lying to him felt much worse than the mark ever could- I was betraying his trust. Harry slowly let go of my arm as I looked down at my bare feet, trying to take deep breaths and calm down.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asked quietly, and I felt my eyes smart then start to tear up. I was a disgusting, horrible person for doing this- I should've kept what I knew to myself and only tried to warn Dumbledore. I didn't want to know this anymore- ignorant bliss would have been better.

"There's nothing I _can_ tell you." I emphasized the word 'can', hoping he'd get it, but Harry said nothing. I looked up at him, hating that my eyes were brimming with tears. He looked slightly confused, a little angry, but downright determined. Wishing I could burn that face from my memory, I turned and fled up the girls' staircase and into the dormitory, stifling a sob. I set my shoes down by my bed, and then crawled on top of it, closing my hangings to block the moonlight. Then, I couldn't help it. I buried my face right into my pillow and cried like I was 13 again. I cried for myself, finally shedding tears I'd been storing since last year. I cried for Dumbledore, and how he was letting himself die for a master plan of his own creation. I cried for my friends, Harry especially, for having to be so suspicious of me and yet still caring about my well being. When I was done, it was almost 3 in the morning- Harry and Ron would go to the Burrow in less than 4 hours. Hermione was staying at Hogwarts, but she was going to meet up with her parents in Hogsmade for awhile. I'd get some time alone- exactly what I needed. I needed time to build myself up against Harry and his suspicions and questions, and my own self hate. I needed time to think, to plan, to go after Malfoy. I needed time to just sort out life- I could apply for my Apparition test and license now, I'd be seventeen on December 27th.

Silently chastising myself for crying like a baby, I pulled all the pins out of my hair and reopened my side hangings. I changed hastily into my pajamas then got back into bed and somehow fell asleep.

In the morning, I woke up and it was almost 11 o'clock. After digging into my trunk and pulling out the scrap of sheet from my summer, I tied it around my wrist before fully getting up. Hermione had my bracelet somewhere, and it was what I'd been using to hide the mark. Getting dressed, it was weird to be the only one in the dormitory. The majority of the girls had gone home for the holidays. I was certainly not used to the luxury of privacy. I slunk down the girls staircase silently, afraid of what I'd find. However, Hermione grinned when she saw me, shutting her book and getting out of her armchair by the fire to greet me. "How're you feeling?" She asked after giving me a hug. "You gave Harry such a fright, me too, come to think of it. But Harry woke me up yesterday and you'd already gone to bed. I'm assuming you're ok?" She said this all very fast, looking at me expectantly. I couldn't help but smile, even though comment about Harry hurt me unconsciously. He obviously hadn't told her what I'd said, and I felt a pang of frustration. I had just told him the key, the reason why I was so miserable, and he kept it to himself.

"I'm just tired." I said, trying to inject cheerfulness into my voice. I spent the day with Hermione catching up and working ahead on homework. She shared her literally horrifying experience at the party with Cormac McLaggen, and I sympathized with her with ease. She returned my bracelet to me, and I transfigured it back into the knitted band, slipping it on over the sheet and then untying it. I knew that Hermione was extremely curious about it, even though I'd never shown it to her except for in the beginning. She had watched me carefully, but then turned back to her book. Feeling slightly ill, I watched the fire for awhile before deciding to see if Dumbledore was here. I wanted to shout at him, cry for him, and ignore him all at the same time. Regardless, I needed some guidance on how to stay friends with Harry and not hurt myself trying to tell him things in the process. "I think I need to see Dumbledore," I said after a moment of contemplating my decision, getting out of my chair.

"You are looking slightly ill," Hermione said gently. She shooed me off, and I started for Dumbledore's office. I never made it though. As I was walking past McGonagall's office, she called me inside.

"Can I help you, Professor?" I asked politely, stepping inside and closing the door when she motioned me to.

"I have received word from Mr. Potter that you had a fainting spell yesterday brought on by close contact to Professor Snape." She said, and I nearly died on the spot from embarrassment and guilt. "I merely wanted to advise you to go to the Hospital Wing to ensure that you truly are recovered." She continued, avoiding my gaze.

"I really don't think that's necessary Professor-" she looked at me sharply, so I backtracked, "-but if you insist, I'll go."

"Allow me to escort you," She said, standing up and marching out of her room before I could object. I meekly followed her to the Hospital Wing, trying to ignore the looks she was shooting at me. McGonagall was obviously very upset about it, something I didn't quite understand. "In," she said, opening the door for me. I walked in to find Madam Pompfrey waiting, something that only irritated me. She immediately grabbed my arm and sat me down on a bed, waving her wand in complicated patterns to run tests. She frowned about halfway through, and finished her exam looking puzzled.

"Is there anything wrong?" I asked, anxious.

"Nothing to worry about quite yet. I'll have to research this a bit more." Madam Pompfrey said, almost like a vow.

"What do you mean? What's wrong?" I asked, even more anxious than before, but she waved her hand in a sign of dismissal, stepping back.

"I'm overacting, I'm sure. Forget it dear, and have a Happy Christmas." She insisted, and I got up slowly, mind whirling. Now what was happening to me? Was it so bad that she wouldn't tell me?

"Thanks," I said, almost leaving before remembering my initial quest. "Professor, is Professor Dumbledore here?" I asked McGonagall, but she shook her head, making my heart sink.

"I'm afraid not, Wimkil. He's away on business. He'll return before break ends, but not before Christmas." She said, walking with me through the hallways until we had to go separate ways. "Sarah, if you need to talk to someone- I do not pretend to have nearly the same intellectual capacity as Professor Dumbledore, but I may be able to help." She said kindly. I took a deep breath before answering.

"Thank you for the offer, Professor, but I'll be alright. Thanks again." She let me go then, and I trudged back to Gryffindor Tower, a million thoughts running through my head. Deciding to keep what had just happened a secret (why make Hermione worry more?), I ducked back into the Common Room and promised myself that I'd cheer up and enjoy myself over Christmas, like I had been before Slughorn's party. Two days before Christmas, I sent Christmas gifts to the Weasley's, a special one to Ron, and one to Harry. For the Weasley's as a whole, I'd gotten them flowers that I'd charmed to change colors and never die if they were watered everyday. They looked like they were made out of blown glass, my favorite kind. For Ron, I'd gotten him a wand polishing and restoration kit after I'd seen him pulling his wand out of his shoe. Sometimes I wondered about him- if he would ever treat his wands well. (This wonder was sparked by hearing the story of him snapping his wand in half second year after crashing into the Whomping Willow in an enchanted flying car.) For Harry, I'd gotten him a miniature Foe Glass, a tribute to Dumbledore's Army and how I'd found the Foe Glass in the Room of Requirement creepy.

Christmas dawned before I knew it, and Hermione and I had our own quiet celebration. She'd planned ahead and gotten me a birthday gift too- a book on the history of Azkaban and a wide, gorgeous and intricately beaded bracelet that had chevron patterns in it to hide the mark. From Mrs. Weasley, I got a hand knitted sweater in lilac and some delicious pies. Ron gave me, surprisingly, a book on how Pensive's worked. What hurt the most was a book from Harry on the history of Death Eaters. It was extensive, and must have cost a pretty penny. Worst of all, the first chapter was on how to identify a Death Eater. I was sure that he hadn't gotten it for me based on that, but it stung all the same. Shortly after, Hermione left for Hogsmade to meet up with her parents, and she wouldn't be back until the 28th, giving me time to brood around. On the 27th, I went to the Great Hall and took my Apparition test and got my license. I didn't write to my parents, and they didn't write or send a Christmas Gift, even though I'd bewitched the labels on Honeydukes chocolate fudge to a different, Muggle kind and sent it to them. The rest of the time I read the book from Harry in front of the Common Room fire, trying to force away my guilt before it consumed me whole.


	15. Chapter 15

15

Harry POV

"She said she _couldn't _tell you?" Ron asked in disbelief, ignoring the sprout he was supposed to be peeling in his hand and staring at me openmouthed. A mountain of sprouts was on a chair between us, and we were peeling them all by hand with knives. Snow was falling steadily outside the window, and Christmas was right around the corner. "What's her problem?" Ron demanded, nearly cutting a sprout in half when he went to peel it angrily.

"Ron, don't you get it! She's trying to tell us something without telling it to us!" I said, and he stared at me blankly, not understanding. "Ron, look, has Sarah ever hesitated in speaking her mind before? Something's up. We have to find out what."

"You know, I don't understand girls. Why the secrets? Why is everything so difficult?" Ron grumbled.

"I suppose it's because you have no brains," Fred said, coming into the kitchen, his twin following. Both of them were wearing identical evil smirks. Once they left, Ron and I huddled closer around the sink.

"Will you help me? Sarah knows something about Malfoy, I'm sure of it. If she won't tell us, I doubt she's told Hermione either." I told Ron, peeling a sprout. "But she has to tell us. This is really important, Ron."

"Yeah, I'll help. I just hope she doesn't use one of her bloody hexes on us. I saw what she did last year to Marcus Flint." Ron muttered, grabbing another sprout.

Christmas came and went. I thought almost constantly about Snape and Malfoy's conversation and, of course, Sarah. Her comment still puzzled me. She _couldn't_ tell me? Why? Was she trying to protect me, or did she simply not want to tell me? In the time I'd known her, she was nothing but smart, outspoken once you got to know her, and loyal. This year, she was refusing to accept that Malfoy was a Death Eater, wouldn't talk about it, and was keeping secrets. Something wasn't right. I wouldn't call it perfidy, we all would have known if Bellatrix had completely taken over her and made her a Death Eater, but Sarah wasn't being honest either. The only major events that really happened over Christmas was Rufus Scrimgeour trying to recruit me for the Ministry, which I refused outright, even showing him the back of my hand and mentioning (thinking of Sarah) that I wasn't the only one who it'd happened to; and my conversation with Lupin about Death Eaters.

When Ron, Ginny and I got back, only Hermione was in the Common Room. Ron was instantly taken over by Lavender, and Ginny went to see Dean (much to my displeasure). But it left me a moment with Hermione to talk about how our Christmases went. I told her all about Scrimgeour, and we had a long bashing streak over the Ministry. As we settled into comfortable silence, the portrait hole opened and Sarah ducked in, books under her arm. "Sarah!" Hermione called her over, and she hesitated for just a moment before coming over and sitting on the edge of a coffee table to join our conversation. I glanced at the books under her arm, and noticed that she was reading the tome I'd gotten her for Christmas. Surprised again, I barely paid attention to her conversation with Hermione. If it upset her to talk about it, and she wouldn't accept it, why would she be reading about Death Eaters? That made no sense whatsoever, deepening the mystery.

"Harry, tell Sarah about Scrimgeour." Hermione's voice made me snap out of it. I looked up quickly from the stack of Sarah's books and didn't miss the look on her face…almost pained? I hastily explained about what he'd tried to do, and Sarah's right hand clenched into a fist. Her scars had never turned white, they were too deep. Instead, they were a dark brownish-red, never totally healed.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I take it the rest of your Christmas was alright?" She asked, looking disgusted over my shoulder to see Ron and Lavender snogging rather heatedly.

"Yeah, it was great. Lupin was there." I said, leaving out our conversation entirely. I didn't want to start a new fight, and maybe, just maybe, if I regained her trust, she'd just tell me what was bothering her. We chatted about Lupin for a moment, then Hermione announced proudly that Sarah had her Apparition license already. "Was the test hard?" I asked, truly curious, examining the license when she handed it to me. It was a small shiny green strip of what felt like plastic, with her name and picture on it. Sarah shrugged dispassionately.

"They almost didn't give it to me because I broke the law last year." She said dryly, but her eyes tightened. "But the test is relatively simple, especially because they were offering it to students in the Great Hall. They'll be lessons for everyone soon enough."

"Where'd you Apparate to?" I asked.

"Godric's Hollow." She replied, and the name stirred somewhere in my memory. "Well, I'm going to call it a night," she said, gathering up her books. She was very detached- like a robot, so I knew right then and there that getting whatever she knew out of her was going to be tough. Bidding us goodnight, she vanished up the girls' staircase.

"Oh, Harry, I almost forgot. From Dumbledore," Hermione said, fishing a scroll out of her pocket. Upon opening it, I discovered that he wanted to see me later tonight. That was perfect, I wanted to ask him about Snape, Malfoy, and Sarah. An hour and a half later, I was knocking on the door to his office. We talked about Scrimgeour, and he flatly turned me down when I mentioned Snape and Malfoy. Then I asked the million dollar question.

"Sir, have you talked to Sarah lately? She seems troubled." I said carefully, and I noticed Dumbledore's expression change for a fraction of a second.

"I'm afraid not. But I was aware that she fainted after Slughorn's Christmas Party, with no serious damage done yet." He said, sitting up straighter.

"Yet, sir?" I asked, confused. He just waved a hand, picking up a lemon drop, so I continued. "Professor, I've tried to talk to her about…some things, and it really upsets her when it never used to. She won't talk about it, not even to Hermione. I was just curious if you knew what it was about." I tried to construct my sentences carefully, but Dumbledore saw right through it.

"I'm assuming you've asked her about Mr. Malfoy." He said, tone distasteful, and I nodded. He leaned forward, expression serious, and said, "Harry, Sarah is under a multitude of stress this year. No matter how odd her actions may seem, you _must _trust her judgment. Do you understand?" He asked, and I realized that somehow he was in on it.

"I will, but do you know what's bugging her, sir?" I asked without thinking. Dumbledore sighed, standing up.

"Harry, I know Occlumens, but there are some private things that even I won't spy upon. You'd best leave it be." He said firmly, then diverted my attention by showing me another memory from Voldemort's past…

**OoOoOoO**

Two days later, a notice was posted on the boards in the Common Room about getting Apparition Lessons. All the sixth years were talking excitedly, jostling around the notice to sign up. Hermione bugged Sarah at breakfast for tips about Apparating, betraying how nervous she was. "Look, Hermione, it's really easy if you don't stress about it. Lots of really nasty things can happen if you do it wrong, but it's all about trusting yourself." She said with a hint of impatience as Hermione fidgeted anxiously.

"How'd you learn?" she asked. "With a teacher from the Ministry?"

"Merlin, no." She laughed, then laughed harder when she saw the scandalized look on Hermione's face. "Madam Marchbanks was bored one day in Dueling Classes, I must have been what, thirteen? But she insisted that she teach us about Apparition. Then we did side-along Apparating, then more theory…considering she was pretty much deaf back then, I'm surprised she answered questions correctly." she said, grinning at the look on Hermione's face.

"But that's so _unsafe!"_ Hermione cried, and she snorted with laughter, patting Hermione on the back.

"Just relax, and trust yourself. Treat it like a homework assignment. Good luck, you three," she grinned wider, getting up. "Focus less on the teacher blabbing away and more on your own self. It'll help, trust me," she said, picking up her books. Younger and older students were leaving the hall, Apparition lessons were due to start soon. "See you later, then," she said, smiling at Hermione's worry, and left the hall, looking more carefree than I'd seen her in awhile. During the lesson, I heard Malfoy tell off Crabbe and Goyle for not being good 'look outs'. It made concentrating on Apparating ridiculously difficult, not to mention that the normal theory itself was impossible. It planted an idea in my head- why not look at the Marauders Map and see where he was going? Then I'd be able to spy on him and see what he was up to. I was still convinced that he'd been responsible for the cursed necklace and Sarah's seizure at the beginning of the year as well as her fainting after the party. Now I'd be able to see where he was going, all the time. After lessons, I raced back to Gryffindor Tower, got the map, and called Ron back into the Common Room. We found a deserted corner and spread out the map. We scanned for what seemed like ages, but I _couldn't_ find him.

"Problem?" Sarah's voice made my head shoot up. Her books were tucked under her arm, and she was leaning against the wall next to us, still looking cheerful.

"Sorry, mate, can't find him," Ron muttered, getting up and leaving. He brushed past Sarah and left without a word.

"Oh, I thought you were doing homework. What's up? How were the lessons?" she asked, taking Ron's spot.

"Fine," I said, still gazing over the map. To my astonishment, Malfoy was no longer on the map, and Crabbe and Goyle were in the Slytherin Common Room. I tapped the spot with my finger, confused. That wasn't possible- the map never lies- and he couldn't just disappear.

"The Slytherin Common Room? Who are you looking for?" Sarah asked in what I supposed was supposed to be a truly curious voice, but her voice came out sharp. I felt kind of bad, we'd been on good terms for awhile, but I'd have to destroy them again to tell her the truth.

"Malfoy." I said firmly, looking right at her. "But he's not on the map. He's vanished." Sarah stared at me, clearly irritated and torn. I knew that she was now beyond curious- the map had always fascinated her.

"Can't you just let this go?" She asked quietly, getting up from Ron's spot.

"No, I can't Sarah. Look," I shoved the map in her direction, and after a second, she sat back down and scanned over it. After a minute of her flipping through the map progressively faster, she dropped it. "See. He's disappeared." I said accusingly.

"So that's my fault, is it?" She asked strongly, standing up again. "And don't ask," she said coldly as I opened my mouth to do exactly what she'd said. Irritated that she read me so easily, I watched her storm away, and I heard the door to the girls' dormitory slam. With a sigh, I wiped the map and shoved it in my bag, fuming. Over the next few days, I watched the map, even had Ron watch it when I was with Dumbledore. It soon became clear that Malfoy vanished all the time, only to reappear several hours later at different places in the castle. It was mind boggling. And then, even worse, Sarah started leaving the Common Room at night, disappearing for long periods at a time. It was bizarre, she'd always reserved that time for doing homework or talking with Hermione. When I asked Hermione if she knew where Sarah was going, she said she was spending time in the library. But when I checked the map, I found that she was walking in the hallways, always the same course. She'd go to every floor, go through secret passageways, then she'd return late. It was like she was searching the castle for something- but for what?

And most importantly, why?


	16. Chapter 16

16

Sarah POV

Once Harry showed me the map, I realized immediately where Malfoy was going. I knew that he was going to the Room of Requirement. I wanted to go to the room right away, but I watched Harry shove the map out of sight every night when I returned from wandering the same path- he was watching my movements. I'd have to go at a time when he wasn't watching, either early or late. I also had to plan around Occlumency lessons every Wednesday- for the rest of the week I felt too ill to do much of anything. After searching for an acceptable day, I finally decided on Ron's birthday. He and I weren't speaking anyway- it'd be perfect. I'd still gotten him a birthday present, a newer, advanced copy of Quidditch Through the Ages, but he and Harry would be distracted in the morning- a perfect chance for me to escape. When the day arrived, I rose early and crept downstairs. I started across the room, but nearly leapt into the air when a voice called out to me. "Doing alright, Sarah?" Seamus Finnigan called from the fireplace. He and Dean Thomas were playing Exploding Snap. Seamus wiggled his eyebrows at me, crossing his arms and bumping the cards. Seconds later, the pile exploded in his face, making Dean roar with laughter. Before I could continue out, feet pounded down the boys' staircase and Ron nearly ran me over.

"_Sarah!_ I need your help, your advice. I love her, I love her so much- and you're a girl, you can tell me what she's like-" Ron looked positively mad. He was pale, and his eyes were far too excited. His hands were trembling.

"Ron!" Harry hissed, appearing at the top of the staircase and nearly running down it.

"You have to help me," Ron said, taking the front of my robes and giving me a little shake.

"What's going on?" I asked Harry, while patting Ron on the shoulder, slowly pulling out of his grasp.

"He ate some spiked candy Romilda Vane gave me-" he started.

"_Romilda?_ Did you say Romilda, Harry?" Ron piped up instantly, then sighed dreamily. "I love her," he sighed happily, and I raised my eyebrows.

"She put love potion in them." Harry finished, looking pained, rubbing his ear, which, for some reason, was bright red, as if he'd been punched. "I'm taking him to Slughorn, he'll know what to do. But he wants your advice on girls." He said, pulling a face. We stared at each other a second. Ever since he'd brought up Malfoy again, I'd ignored him, and vice versa.

"Come on then, Ron, I'll give you advice as we walk." I said quickly, looking away from Harry and hooking arms with Ron, following Harry out of the portrait hole.

"So, what do girls _like?"_ Ron asked, hanging off my every word.

"Well," I started, trying not to laugh at the look on his face. "Girls like talking-"

"We're talking!" Ron piped up brightly. I looked at him, amused, before continuing.

"We like men who are polite-_Ron!"_ I almost shouted as he suddenly scooped me up in a bridal style hold.

"I'm only being polite, like you said." Ron insisted, and Harry looked back and did a double take. I gave him a look that said, 'shut up and never speak of this again', and he grinned, turning back around.

"Well, put me down, please." I said, biting back a laugh, and he gracefully put me down. "Um, girls like laughing-" Ron broke me off with a hearty guffaw that echoed down the corridor. I heard Harry snort in front of us, but Ron didn't even notice. He was looking at me expectantly, like a proud child. "Girls like kissing-" Ron instantly dipped me low, almost hitting the floor and kissed me without hesitation. It didn't bother him that I did nothing, he took advantage of the fact that I'd gasped to fully snog me, French kissing and all. I beat on his shoulder but he didn't move or relinquish his hold. I heard Harry stop, realizing that we weren't following and choke. I beat on his shoulder harder with the heel of my hand- I needed to breathe! After a second, Ron broke the kiss and stood me up again, beaming.

"Good, eh?" Ron chirped, looking pleased with himself. I put a hand on my chest, trying to repress the fact that Ron had just freaking _snogged_ me.

"For Merlin's sake, Ron," I gasped, feeling myself blush hot, high across my cheekbones. "Save it for Romilda," I forced out, trying not to freak out, and Ron frowned.

"You're right. I apologize, because I'm polite." He said with regal stiffness, hooking arms with me again. Harry was still standing down the hall, looking at us open mouthed. "Come on, Harry. I need to see Romilda." Ron said impatiently as we drew even with him.

"Uh, right," Harry said, looking as shocked as I was, turning back around setting out at a faster pace. Ron drilled me on how he should act around Romilda as we walked, but, thankfully, he didn't try anything out on me again. We arrived at Slughorn's office and I led him through, trying to keep him calm, even though he was bouncing on his heels, looking around in excitement.

"What's this?" He asked Slughorn as he handed him the antidote.

"Tonic, for the nerves, boy, you understand." Slughorn said breezily.

"Brilliant!" Ron said, and chugged it. Seconds later, his eyes lost their luster and his mouth sagged open.

"Back to normal then? Thank Merlin," I muttered, falling onto the couch.

"Did-Did I…_snog_ you?" Ron breathed, horrified.

"Yes, yes you did." Harry said grimly, sitting next to me. I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead tiredly as Slughorn pattered around, looking for a 'pick-me-up' as he called it, for Ron. I got up and accepted a glass from Slughorn as we passed each other. I stood by the bookcase, looking at the titles of his books, and felt a pang of irritation. I'd have to find another day to corner Malfoy, and somehow, I'd have to tell Hermione that the boy she loved had accidentally snogged me.

"Here, m'boy. To love!" Slughorn said, clearly a toast. I didn't drink when they did- I really didn't believe in love. It only got people hurt, like Hermione. Then I raised my glass to take a sip.

"_Ron!"_ Harry yelled suddenly, and I whirled around, lowering my glass. Ron's glass lay on the carpet, smashed. Ron was on the floor, writhing and foaming at the mouth. "Professor, do something!" Harry yelled as Ron continued to writhe. Without thinking, I dropped my glass, letting it shatter, and ran past them to Slughorn's potion kit. Ron's reaction had to be one to poison. He needed an antidote-

"I don't understand!" Slughorn wailed, beyond consternation. Frantic, I threw ingredients on the floor, searching, desperate, for the only antidote I could think of- a bezoar. Harry suddenly appeared at my side.

"What are you looking for?" He asked frantically.

"A bezoar," I panted, shoving boxes aside, my hands trembling. Harry's arm abruptly shot under mine and grabbed a box. Then he was gone, running back to Ron, who wasn't writhing anymore, and his lips were blue. Harry ripped open the box and shoved the wrinkled looking stone into Ron's mouth…

**OoOoOoO**

I sat in the hospital wing on the bed next to Ron's, trying to quell my shaking hands. Hermione was holding his hand, sitting on a stool beside him. Fred, George and Ginny had joined us, sitting in a little semi-circle around his bed. "Ok, Harry, what happened?" Ginny asked once everyone had settled down. Harry told the story about Ron eating the spiked candy, and about how he insisted that I go with him and give him advice. (Mercifully he left out the snogging portion) He described how Slughorn had cured him, then poured us all glasses of oak-matured mead.

"It was kind of odd, he said it was supposed to be a Christmas gift for Dumbledore." Harry said, frowning whilst looking at Ron. I felt my insides clench. Harry hadn't put it all together yet, but I had. This was the second item this year that had been meant for Dumbledore and had hurt a student. The mead had to have been spiked by Malfoy, there was no other explanation I could think of. Such hatred rose in me that my hands tightened their grip on each other and I had to fight off my instinct to stand up, storm out, and corner Malfoy again. Katie Bell had been different- we really didn't know each other. But this was _Ron,_ one of my best friends, even if we hadn't been talking for half the year.

"But who'd want to poison Slughorn?" George asked. "Maybe Slughorn bought it for himself and then decided to give it away."

"Maybe the whole bottle wasn't poisoned, maybe Slughorn wanted to poison one or all of you three," Ginny, said, her eyes flashing between Ron, Harry and I.

"That doesn't make sense," I interjected for the first time, releasing my hands but curling my left one into a fist almost unconsciously. "Slughorn doesn't know Ron or I, and he loves Harry."

"That's just it, isn't? Harry really isn't the most popular guy with Death Eaters right now." Fred said, and Harry snorted.

"Because Slughorn is obviously a…Death Eater." He said, recognition lighting in his eyes as he put it together, pausing before he said Death Eater. No one else noticed though, they just kept up their heated debate. Harry turned and looked at me, frowning. "Can I have a word?" He asked quietly, over George's head, and, regretfully, I nodded, getting up and following Harry further down the ward. He slipped into a curtained off bed, and I followed, filling with dread. This wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. "What's going on with you?" He asked brusquely as soon as I followed him in.

"I don't quite understand what you mean, please elaborate." I said through gritted teeth, crossing my arms. Harry leaned closer, scowling now.

"Did you know that another attack would happen? Do you know if someone is trying to kill Dumbledore this year?" He pressed. He'd obviously done some thinking on the topic, and as he bore down over me, I yearned to be able to tell him, to be able to get this all off my chest. I opened my mouth to say something and struggled for about thirty seconds to think of what I could say.

"I can't answer that," I said finally, and to my distaste, it came out broken and hurt. Harry raised a fist, tugged on his hair and almost turned away in frustration to my answer before turning back.

"And why not?" He asked aggressively. "Because you don't _want_ to?" He accused, and I felt my eyes flash.

"Are you saying it's _my_ fault that Ron was poisoned? Are accusing me of single handedly letting Ron get hurt? Let me make one thing clear right now. It's disgusting to me, how quickly you blame me because you don't _think, _or _understand_ what I say to you. I love Ron like a brother. If I could have drunk the mead first out of all of us, I would, and I'd do it even if I knew the consequences. Don't you _dare_ suggest ever again that I'd let any of my friends get hurt." I hissed, my hand floating down and resting on my wand.

"Then why won't you let your friends help you, Sarah? Something's been bothering you; for _Merlin's sake, _share!" Harry's said loudly, but I didn't even think about it, I was to busy rising up on my tippy toes with furious anger so I could get in Harry's face better.

"Haven't you been listening to _anything_, _anything_ I say to you? I already told you everything I can- and if I could tell you everything, I would have already. Now _leave me alone!_" I very nearly shouted, before whipping out of the curtain and almost running out of the Hospital Wing, trying not to cry because I felt guilty enough to be sent to Azkaban with a life's sentence.


	17. Chapter 17

17

Sarah POV

Harry and I didn't speak afterward, even though we'd visit Ron together in the Hospital Wing with Hermione. Ron improved rapidly, and thanks to him muttering things in his sleep (Hermione's name), Lavender broke up with him. That made me _really_ happy, because now Ron and Hermione spent a lot of time together, exactly what Hermione had really wanted. Now that Ron was on speaking terms with me, he tried to ask me twice what Harry kept bothering me about, and I nearly hexed him. I'd been trailing Malfoy around, subtly, inbetween classes when Harry wasn't looking at the map, but Harry knew what I was doing and was angrier at me than ever. I was furious with him; getting Ron to do his dirty work was sickening. In fact, I didn't go to the next Quidditch match on purpose, opting to stay behind, like I knew Malfoy would, to see what he was doing, and, most importantly, to corner him about what he did to Ron. It wasn't actually that hard, he had two girls with him, one on each arm, and they were giggling high enough to give me a headache. Using my tactic of hiding in secret passageways again, I surprised them on the fifth floor, making it look like I'd come from nowhere. "I want a word, Malfoy." The voice that came out of me was bitter and cold, making the giggling girls sober instantly, and Malfoy sneer.

"Because I would talk with a Mudblood, Wimkil." He mocked, going to walk around me with his girls.

"_Langlock."_ I said calmly, waving my wand, and the girls on either side of him immediately whimpered and fanned the air in front of their mouths, hysterical. I'd just glued their tongues to the roof of their mouths, and I guess it would be a _tad_ uncomfortable… "Watch it," I warned Malfoy, the bitter voice instantly back when he drew his wand. "I'll remove the hex if I can have a word." I gave him my ultimatum, feeling gleeful deep down inside when he struggled with it.

"Fine." He snapped, stalking into the hidden passageway first, turning on his heel and scowling down at me. "What?" He said, irritated. Now that we were in private, I let all of my fury rage, especially my frustration at Harry.

"_What?_ I'll tell you, _what, _Malfoy. I told you to stop it, I offered you protection, I gave it all to you on a silver platter. And you had to try it again, like a coward, and another innocent student got hurt." To my happiness, the dark, harsh voice came out of me, similar to the one I'd gotten at the beginning of the year, and it made him take a step back. It must have been unnerving, hearing that coming out of a pale and trembling girl like me, especially one that was relatively short and most definitely unthreatening.

"You think I could and would magically stop on _your_ whim, Wimkil?" He retaliated after he blinked a few times.

"_It's not my whim."_ I said dangerously, poking my wand into his chest, growing taller as I swelled with anger. "Look, I didn't _want_ to help you, because I knew you'd act like the arrogant prick you are right now. But you've got people in high places looking out for you." I forced out, having to choose my words now that I was talking about the topics that I had to be tight-lipped about. Malfoy's eyes narrowed.

"Why haven't you gone running off to Dumbledore then, if you're so worried about me trying to kill him?" He spat. I opened my mouth and groaned in frustration, whipping my braid off my shoulder. If only I could throttle Malfoy by the collar and tell him everything, that would wipe that smug look right off his face.

"Ask your Aunt," I snapped furiously, and ducked out of the passageway. Pointing my wand at the two girls, I undid the curse then angrily stormed away as Malfoy ducked out of the passage, looking bemused. Ignoring the shrieking girls behind me, I ducked through another passageway, white-faced, furious, and shaking, and ran into a crowd of roaring Gryffindors- apparently we'd lost. I'd never really cared for Quidditch, but I was already in a bad mood- and it only made me worse. With a sigh, I tried to quell my shivering and started back for the Common Room. Halfway there, Ginny randomly popped out from behind a doorway, looking angrier than I did.

"_Sarah!_ Come here!" She hissed, so I crossed the hallway, fully expecting to be yelled at. Ginny was pale, not as white as me, but unusually so for her. "I've been looking for you. I need your help." She said, and pulled me in the door. All of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, minus Harry, had Cormac McLaggen in a corner, wandless.

"What is going on here?" I asked, immediately balking, but Ginny steered me forward anyway.

"You don't know? You didn't go to the game?" She asked, and I shook me head with a frown.

"This _idiot_, instead of playing his position, tried to show Peakes here how to be a better Beater." Ginny said, jerking her thumb at a small blond boy to her right. Cormac made an angry noise, but she ignored it. "So he takes his bat from him and tries to demonstrate. He pelts a Bludger right into the back of Harry's head and _cracks his skull._" Ginny snarled, and I felt my jaw drop. Was he ok? "Oh, he's in the Hospital Wing, he'll be fine. But then we lost by almost _three hundred points._" Ginny explained, seeing my expression, then took a deep breath and threw a filthy look at Cormac. "Now, I know you don't like Quidditch, but you can't let this stand. I was going to hex him myself, but…you've got a reputation for the best hexer on the planet. Everyone saw what you did to Marcus Flint last year." She said, and I felt myself blush. I used to be nobody- nobody talked to me or noticed I existed. But then I became friends with Harry and hexed Marcus Flint to mush. I hadn't realized I had a reputation, but apparently I did. I looked at Cormac. He'd caused Hermione and I a lot of grief, and I knew he was a prat. To top it off, he'd cracked Harry's skull open. Even if Harry and I weren't talking I couldn't let him take that kind of hit without retribution.

I drew my wand and walked forward. The team converged behind me as I raised it.

Thirty seconds later, Cormac looked like he was made of jello, with huge buck teeth, flaky skin, antlers, a carrot for a nose, tentacles for hair, and he was quacking like a duck. Crawling on his hands and knees, he repeatedly ran into a desk. Roaring with laughter, the team escorted me out of the room, and, grinning, they all went their separate ways. For a moment, I stood in the hallway, trying not to be too pleased with myself before going up to the Hospital Wing. On the way, I passed Hermione, who smiled and shrugged at me before heading towards the library, flushing. I knew she'd just been talking to Ron- he was still in the Hospital Wing because of the poisoning. Shaking my head at those two (they were actually quite stubborn and alike), I slipped into the wing. It was generally quiet. Ron had his nose buried in his birthday gift from me, and Harry was lying inert on the bed beside him, head swathed with bandages. I winced instantly and started down towards them. Ron looked up and waved at me, opening his mouth to greet me when Madam Pompfrey came from nowhere, sitting me down and waving her wand.

"Excuse me, Madam Pompfrey, but I'm fine." I said, but she shook her head.

"You're too pale." She muttered, almost to herself, and kept running her tests. When she ran tests by my head again, she frowned. "It all fits…well, you're free to go." She said, turning her back, but I ran around and caught up to her.

"What's wrong? You've done that twice now." I asked, and she looked at me then away. She waved a hand dismissively before stepping around me and heading back to her office, shaking her head. I looked after her a minute more before joining Ron.

"What was that all about?" He asked instantly as I sat on the foot of Harry's bed, stretching my legs out to the foot of Ron's with a sigh. "She was right, you are real pale." He added, and I shrugged, frowning.

"She won't tell me. I'll ask Dumbledore about it later. I think she's nuts, I don't feel bad at all." I said, swooping my braid back over my shoulder. "So, how are you?" I asked after a pause. Ron shrugged.

"I think she's nuts too, I feel fine but she won't let me go. I'd give it two more days and I'll be free." He said, stretching. I could still see the faint lines on his arms from the brain trying to strangle him last year in the Department of Mysteries. "What?" Ron asked, seeing me staring at him. I jerked to life then rubbed my forehead tiredly.

"I can see the lines on your arms from the brain last year," I said looking at my hands clasped in my lap and picking nervously at my thumb. Memories of that place still made me anxious.

"That's weird, cause you're the only one to notice," Ron said cheerfully, taking his book from me off his lap and setting it on his nightstand. Seconds later, Harry stirred, and then his eyes popped open. "He's arisen!" Ron said with mock elation, raising his arms in the air. Harry shot him a look after he'd sat up, snatching his glasses off his nightstand, putting them on and blinking several times.

"How bad did we lose by?" He asked after feeling his head.

"About three hundred points." I said, taking my feet off of Ron's bed and sitting up straighter. Harry looked at me and did a bit of a double take- and I knew he was noting that I looked gaunter after my new fight with Malfoy.

"I'm going to kill McLaggen," He growled halfheartedly, sitting back with a scowl.

"There's no need," Ginny called as she slipped around the door, nearly skipping down to us with glee. "McGonagall found McLaggen- he'll be up soon." She said to me, and I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. Ginny slapped me a high five while the boys looked at us, curious and suspicious.

"What's going on?" Ron asked, and Ginny snorted with laughter while I started to flush.

"Let's just say Sarah did a Marcus Flint on McLaggen for me." Ginny sniggered, and both of the boy's jaws dropped.

"_No way!" _Ron gasped, and it started off a new round of my laughter.

"I had to," I said, shrugging but grinning at the same time, getting to my feet. "Come on, Ginny, I can't be here when he comes in, I'll be laughing too hard and it'll give me away." I said, and waved goodbye to both jaw-dropped boys, walking out with Ginny. We passed McGonagall and a dazed looking McLaggen, and I nearly burst from not laughing around her. The Gryffindor Quidditch team didn't peep a word, and Hermione didn't even figure out it was me. It was great to have Harry pull me aside and give me a solemn bravo for what I'd done, not even mentioning Malfoy or Death Eaters.

Unfortunately, our good terms vanished as quickly as they'd come. I was still following Malfoy, and plotting the best day to beat him to the Room of Requirement. Harry and Ron were getting more and more suspicious, and frequently whispered with each other and passed notes in classes, shooting me looks. They even got Hermione to tentatively ask me what was wrong, and all I did was get up and walk away. But that only sparked her interest, and I'd often catch her looking at me then quickly looking away. It really hurt deep down to not be able to tell my friends the truth and to look like a villain to them. Dumbledore wasn't pressing me to 'get on with it' with regards to me and Malfoy, but I'd catch him looking at me during mealtimes, and it was clear what those looks meant. Figuring enough was enough, I decided to go and get some advice. He applauded my efforts so far, but advised me to take bigger and bolder steps. Before I left, I thought of another question that had been in the back of my brain for awhile now.

"Professor, I have another question. Whenever Madam Pompfrey sees me, she runs all these tests around my head and always gets this…_look_ on her face, like I'm growing a tumor or something. But she always denies anything's wrong when she's done. It's starting to worry me." I confessed, and Dumbledore looked thoughtful, turning around from where he'd been petting Fawkes to face me.

"Do you mind?" He asked, drawing his wand with his burnt hand. I shook my head and held still while he ran a multitude of tests, starting to frown about halfway through- exactly like Madam Pompfrey. "I believe what is troubling Madam Pompfrey is what appears to be inflammation in your brain, my dear."

"Inflammation?" I asked, completely lost.

"I do not think it should be of any concern to you. If my guess is correct, and they usually are, I think this is stress on your mind from Occlumens, not from anything else." He said, sitting back at his desk with a tiny sigh. "Speaking of, I hear you are getting quite proficient at Occlumency." He changed the topic lightly and I shrugged, still thinking about what he'd said. He didn't sound entirely sure, but I wasn't going to press the smartest wizard I knew.

"I'm working on counter-attacks. They aren't easy." I said with a sigh, and Dumbledore chuckled softly.

"You will excel, I have no doubt." Were his parting words, and as I walked back to the Common Room, I passed Harry, going to his lesson with Dumbledore. We looked at each other, but then he continued on, dropping my gaze.


	18. Chapter 18

18

Sarah POV

"_Come along, Sarah." My mother's voice was sharp. She had a firm grip on my upper arm, walking briskly through Grand Central Station. Father was pushing my trolley next to me, sneering at Lee Jordan, who was talking to a wide-eyed group of first years, giving them pamphlets on Skiving Snackboxes. Father then glanced almost nervously around as mother marched faster. They both hated picking me up and dropping me off at the train station because they hated everything to do with Hogwarts. _

"_Ridiculous people," Father sneered as we past two girls talking excitedly, an owl between them hooting in a dignified fashion. "I don't know why we let you go to such a madhouse."_

"You aren't trying," Snape's curt voice sucked me back to reality. I was flat on my back on the cold stone of his office, eyes blankly open. I closed my eyes in frustration before getting to my feet, pressing the heel of my left hand to my head. I was doing quite the opposite of what Snape had said- I had used all of my energy that time, trying to hold my own shield and attack him back at the same time. I'd done pretty well in Occlumency, being able to hold a shield and block his spell, but not repeal his attack mentally. Every time I failed he saw more of my life, which was particularly degrading for me; my parents seemed more and more like wackjobs with each lesson.

"That's all the energy I can give," I said quietly, feeling a pounding starting under the heel of my hand.

"For being so far in Occlumency, you are surprisingly _weak._" Snape said loftily, sitting at his desk. "Very well, until next time." He continued, going back to grading papers as if the suffering I'd just done for him was nothing. With a sigh, I left, holding onto the vial of feather around my neck until it started to work again. This lesson had been one of the more terrible ones I'd had in weeks. It had been getting easier for me to recover from lessons but now that I was constantly worried about Malfoy, Harry and Ron, my focus was going. My two best guy friends were watching me with eagle-eyed stares almost constantly, giving me dark looks when I left the Common Room every night or afternoon to track down Malfoy. Their lack of support and our now quickly fraying friendship made me very vulnerable- especially to emotion. Last Wednesday night, after my lesson, Hermione had woken me up at about two in the morning because I'd started to scream. Bellatrix was starting to push on me again, when I was weakest, with vindictive pleasure. I was trying to empty my mind before I slept, but overwhelming sadness and guilt would plague me as I started up at the canopy of my bed, thinking of what I was doing to my friends. The morning after my screaming, neither Harry nor Ron asked, and I didn't tell; it hurt more than the loss of control had.

The next morning, trying to fight off my spiraling depression, I skipped classes. Determined now to pull Malfoy away from the dark so that I could get my life back, I went immediately to the Room of Requirement and snuck in. Leaving the room open so that he could come in, thinking it was unused; I ventured into the labyrinth of forgotten things and lost items. The Room was huge, filled with junk. It took me a long search, past busts of statues, bookcases and mountains of trash before I found what I was looking for- the Vanishing Cabinet. Looking at it for a long, hard while, my examination yielded that Malfoy was making good progress on mending it but he'd need to work harder if he was going to finish before the end of the year. With a heavy sigh, I flopped into an armchair nearby, taking off my glasses and rubbing at my tired eyes. I'd been extremely restless last night, often waking up wrapped up in my sheets, almost panting with the effort of keeping Bellatrix out. I put my glasses back on and curled up in the chair, hoping that Malfoy would magically appear so that I could get this over with. Snuggling deeper into the surprisingly comfy chair, I felt my eyelids start to droop…

Malfoy POV

After my first class, I was fed up. It was all just a joke, going to class, trying to be all innocent. Wimkil already knew what I was doing- but she didn't have the guts to tell anyone or something. At first I thought she'd told Potter and his Weasel, but they didn't confront me at all, something any ridiculous Gryffindor would do. Dumbledore hadn't kicked me out yet either, so she must have been keeping it a secret, but why? She'd told me to 'ask my aunt' as to why she hadn't told anyone yet, but that didn't make any sense. It was maddening how mysterious Wimkil was being, and if I could, I'd hunt _her_ down and make her spill. Deciding to skip my second class, I slipped away from Crabbe and Goyle and took a secret passageway up to the seventh floor and the Room of Requirement. The closer I got the deeper my scowl became. I _loathed_ the Room. It was where I basically spent all my time- and there was no escape. It was the mission I hadn't asked for and couldn't deny, one I had to complete or die. Entering the room, I instantly loosened the tight, green silk tie around my neck and let it hang looser. Glowering halfheartedly at the piles of trash around me, I headed into the Room. But this time was different. Prickles were going up my spine, and my mark started to burn, which could only mean one thing. Instantly drawing my wand, I inched around piles of trash towards the Vanishing Cabinet. Finally, I whipped around one, wand out and pointed straight ahead where the burning was coming from. No attack came. Curious, I edged forward and around an armchair sitting near the Cabinet and found her. Wimkil looked like hell- with a thin, pale face and bags. Restlessly stirring in the chair, her hands clenching and unclenching, she trembled and shook. Her eyes would squeeze shut then dart wildly underneath closed lids. Clearly distressed in her dream, she jerked and shook in the chair, head tossing from side to side. Bemused, I stuck my wand back in my pocket and crossed my arms, too curious to wake her up and kick her out.

Whenever she'd marched up to me, snarling and threatening, she'd always started out strong then weakened in my presence- just another one of her damn mysteries. Now she looked even worse, edging back to the corpse look she'd been sporting at the beginning of the year. The trademark Wimkil braid was trailing over her left shoulder and curled into her lap, a thick and sleek brunette snake. I hated to admit it, particularly because she was a Mudblood and friends with Potter, but she was undeniably attractive. She'd cut back on the obsessive nerdiness and started to gain back some weight, getting farther away from the bony body she'd had at the beginning of the year. Now she was bordering svelte, thin but with curves. Wimkil wasn't like all the Gryffindors- she had a reputation for 'retribution hexing', and a rumor had started that she'd hexed up Cormac McLaggen who'd looked like a demented Blast Ended Skewert in the Hospital Wing. That kind of revenge behavior was pure Slytherin, a complete 180 degree turn from how she'd been last year, practically doting on Potter, being the perfect little student, minus hexing Marcus Flint and myself. I frowned at her now, remembering how she'd 'taken pity' on me and hadn't hexed me to smithereens. Why did she do it? I'd only helped her because orders were orders, and disobeying Umbridge would make your life hell. "Don't, not my son," she murmured fretfully, making my head snap back up to look at her. It was a pity that she _was _a Mudblood- if she was equal to me I might actually take her seriously. Her hand curled around something under her shirt, something that looked almost like a vial, and squeezed it tight. I looked at her a while longer, torn between trying to have her help me (a Mudblood, of _all _people), finding out more about her, or kicking her out. For some reason, I didn't like seeing her in distress.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. Whether I liked it or not, I had work to do, and I definitely couldn't be caught looking at a Mudblood of her stature. It was infuriating that she was so tempting and mysterious. But it'd be selfish of me now to have a relationship particularly because of the deep, secret trouble I was in. With a sigh of regret, I drew my wand, moving to prod her neck. As soon as it touched under her jaw, her eyes snapped open with a gasp.

Sarah POV

"_Fetch Narsissa to me." I told the house elf in the room, and it left to find its Master. The Manor was a big house, but the elves here were well trained. Less than a minute later, the elf returned. _

"_Mistress is sleeping." The elf said, and I snorted, getting up and stalking past the elf. I walked through the Manor, sneering past the 'sophisticated' portraits of the Malfoy family. I was highly disappointed in my sister's family's weakness. Without knocking or calling in, I walked into my sister's quarters. With her husband in Azkaban, she'd got even weaker than ever before. Narsissa was tossing and turning in her bed, clutching at her sheets._

"_Don't, not my son," She whimpered. For a second, I felt pity before it was easily swallowed by my impatience. Draco was safe at school, fulfilling his mission. _

"_Narsissa." I said loudly, jerking her out of sleep._

I jerked into awareness with a huge gasp, eyes snapping open. Something was resting against my neck, and my Mark suddenly burned hot, almost making me yelp. My eyes focused on Malfoy, standing over me with a fierce expression, wand resting just under my jawline. For a second, we only stared at each other. I was still shocked, half from the dream, and half from how stupid I'd been, _falling asleep_ in the Room of Requirement, waiting to _accuse_ someone. "How did you get in here?" Malfoy asked lowly, and I couldn't help but snort, pushing myself up to a more dignified sitting position. I could feel a light sheen of sweat on my face, probably making me look like hell. Malfoy's wand followed my jaw, irritating me.

"I walked three times past the door and then inside." I mocked, and he bristled.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here, Mudblood?" He spat, furious that I'd just played him.

"You know damn well what I'm doing here," I retaliated, and with a growl, he grabbed my left wrist, unknowingly pressing his mark almost directly on it and yanked me out of the chair. The effect was instantaneous. With a yell, I jerked my arm away from him, drawing it to my stomach. We both paused, me defiantly raising my chin, ready to tell any bullshit excuse possible to get him to forget what I'd just done, and Malfoy watching me curiously with more than a spark of recognition in his eyes. Slowly, Malfoy raised his wand back to my jaw again.

"Let me see your left arm." He said quietly, his eyes flicking down to it. I was wearing a short sleeve v-neck t-shirt under a cardigan- and I knew what he was thinking- that I had a Dark Mark hidden under it. When his eyes were down, my hand dived for my wand; there was no way in hell I'd ever let him see it. His other hand suddenly closed around my right hand as it went for my wand. My next reaction was to kick him as hard as I could in the knee. Malfoy sucked in a fast, hard breath as his wand dug down into my collar bone, sparks burning my skin. He didn't stop though, wrestling my right hand out of the way and throwing my wand behind him. Without hesitation, filling with desperation, I kicked him hard in the knee again, and he crumpled, his wand hand slamming into my shoulder and making me fall. Instinct took over then, and my arms flew out to catch my body. Malfoy fell with a huff noise, then flicked his wand in my direction. I expected the worst, but I only felt horror as my left sleeve flicked up. Wasting no time, Malfoy zoomed forward and his cold fingers tore off the band from Mrs. Weasley.

Malfoy's eyes found the mark and froze. His gaze made it burn hotter, particularly because his mark was directly underneath my arm, his other hand locked around my elbow to hold my arm still. Unable to look at the mark, I turned my head away, stiffening and closing my eyes. I didn't know what was worse, the pain, seeing the mark, or the look on Malfoy's face.


	19. Chapter 19

19

Sarah POV

Silence and tension were so heavy in the air, I thought I was suffocating. My body was getting colder from Malfoy's mark, and his cold, strong hands holding my left arm to him kept me firmly in place. He stared down at it, expression shocked, then angry, then unfathomable. He noticed when my left hand started to shake, and when my skin was suddenly icy to his touch. Then his gaze rested on my face, even though I looked past him for a long time. His look alone was the first to make me feel _ashamed_ of having the mark, as if I was letting those around me down by having it. But his gaze didn't question, label or condemn, it was gentle and curious. He was waiting, calculating my every move. His silence demanded an explanation I wasn't 100% willing to give. Finally, my body overrode my heart and mind. My arm yanked out of his grasp, unwilling to stand being so close to him any longer. I looked up at him and then quickly back down. Malfoy looked almost apologetic, as if he just realized the motivations behind my reaction. He discreetly leaned his left arm back, propping him self up but keeping it farther away from me, something I appreciated. Slowly, I brought my left arm up until my wrist was right on my heart, the heat and steady rhythm gradually adding much needed heat to it. I curled my right hand around my left wrist, feeling my pulse beat again under my fingertips, the tendons standing out angrily with the mark. "What is it?" Malfoy's silky voice, surprisingly calm, broke the silence. It took me a second to register what he asked, and I blinked, looking up at him. How could he _not_ know? He was a Death Eater for Merlin's sake.

"That's sick, that they didn't tell you." I said strongly, and he rolled his eyes, impatient.

"_What is it?"_ He demanded, drumming his wand on his fancy black dress shoe.

"It's a 'recruiter's mark'. They were designed by Death Eaters in the first War to mark wizards by force that they wanted to join their ranks. The mark forms a mental connection between the Death Eater and the one marked. It's specifically designed to keep wizards from hiding. It burns the one marked when Death Eaters are near, and they feel it too. It's like a guide to finding the marked." I said very softly, figuring there was no way out of the lie now. I heard Malfoy suck in a breath, but I refused to look at him.

Finally, he said, "Why would anyone mark _you?_ You're a Mudblood." I looked up at him furiously, almost shoving the mark under his nose so that he'd see it, and never forget what it was.

"Do you think I _asked _for it, Malfoy? You think I like having it on me, the connection to a Death Eater, the pain, the fainting and the seizures? You're a prat." I snarled, moving to stand up, but one of his hands shot out to place itself on my shoulder, urging me to sit back down. I glared at him but plopped back down. He still had my wand behind him anyway, and the time it would take me to Summon it mentally would give him enough time to hex me.

"My Aunt marked you, didn't she?" He asked after a second, and I felt my left hand reflexively curl into a fist on my lap.

"Last year, when Harry thought his godfather was kidnapped by Voldemort-" I smirked at him when he flinched, "-in the Department of Mysteries. I tricked Bellatrix into thinking I had the prophecy they were after, even though it was only a glass sphere. We dueled, and she didn't kill me. Apparently, that makes me a 'worthy pure blood', so she marked me." I spat 'worthy pure blood', my knuckles turning white when my fist clenched tighter.

"And why haven't you told anyone about my status?" Malfoy challenged, and I threw a look at him. I'd have to tell him everything now, everything personal I swore never to tell. This would be difficult- I'd have to choose my words carefully.

"The connection between the Death Eater and the marked only gets stronger with time. Over the summer, when I was mostly alone, she got stronger, and when she does, I have dreams about what she's done or doing, and vice versa. I had several over the summer, and they all pointed to the fact that there would be a new Death Eater, one who'd go to Hogwarts for his mission. But when the Order came and got me, I was too far possessed to remember most of them. On my first day of classes when I was in that corridor…" I cut myself off, unable to continue. "Bellatrix attacked me so that I couldn't go to Dumbledore. She placed a kind of 'mind block' in my head that keeps me from speaking of it to anyone, not even you. I can't write it down, confirm or deny it by any means, not even by memory." I spoke to the carpet for most of it, only looking up when Malfoy twitched when I said 'possessed'.

"You were dreaming before you woke up." He put together, and it wasn't a question.

"You're mum is worried about you. Bellatrix was speaking with her." I edited what I'd actually seen, especially when Malfoy stiffened.

"So why the hell are you trying to help me? You know nothing about me- what if I like being what I am?" Malfoy challenged, his voice hardening over. I'd lost any compassion that was left in him when I mentioned his mother. He stood up, and I shot up with him, making sure to stare hard into his grey eyes. Mentally, I called my wand.

"Because you've already admitted some weakness. If you were true in your actions, you wouldn't have diddled around with the necklace and the poison." I snapped, and shot my hand out to pluck my wand from thin air. "Now, feel as empowered as you like, but know that others suspect you, even though I can't say a word. I'm not the only one you should worry about." I continued, taking a step back and wobbling back almost four. I'd lost all track of time, but I knew that I'd been in the Room awhile, alone with a Death Eater. My Occlumency lesson was only yesterday. Even if I hated to admit it, I was weak, and Malfoy didn't miss it. He jerked, as if to steady me, but again, like last year, thought better of it. When I'd been stumbling backward, he'd opened his mouth and closed it, as if to respond to what I'd said about him. "Remember, you can always make a change, Draco. The Order can protect you, no matter what the case." I said, rubbing my left wrist, which was aching with pain. He just looked at me, clearly torn. "Seriously, Draco, you and I are only sixteen! You've got your whole life to either plan or regret." I tried to be persuasive, but I was inching for the chair the whole time as I spoke. Deciding to forgo any act of strength, I sank back into the chair, laying my wand over my trembling knees.

"I-I can't accept your offer. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, but I have to do this." Malfoy forced out, unknowingly standing up straighter, even though his face tightened, as if he expected to be hit. "Here," He offered his left arm (_always_ a gentleman), and I stood. I wanted to shake him and argue with him some more, but I was totally drained, and he'd made it clear, no matter how painfully, that right now he couldn't accept it. He walked me through the mountains of trash and curious items until we reached the door.

"Even if you don't want the Order's help," I said as he went to open the door for me, "come and talk to me anytime." His hand froze on the knob, and he looked at me in surprise. "If I can't convince you otherwise, I should at least keep you from going mad, even if you are an arrogant Slytherin." I teased lightly, trying to at least keep up the mood. I had no intention on giving up my quest, but if he trusted me, his conscience might make him do it all on his own. As if waking from a dream, Malfoy jerked to life, sliding his arm out of mine and opening the door. With a tiny smile and a nod of my head, I stepped out of the Room. The door swung shut behind me and disappeared into the stone. For a moment, I only stood exactly where I'd stopped, pondering what had just happened. I'd done all the talking, but Malfoy gave away more information then he'd known. I started back for the Common Room at a slow pace, willing my freezing, stiff body to warm up again. Malfoy hadn't hexed me when he first saw that I was in there, and he'd listened to everything I had to say. He'd scorned me once for being Muggleborn, that was understandable, but what was surprising was the fact that he didn't do it again. Malfoy had been downright polite, minus scorching my collarbone and…_shit!_ I stopped dead in the hallway and felt under my left sleeve. Malfoy, in his desire to see what the hell was on my left arm, had torn off my bracelet from Mrs. Weasley, and I hadn't put it back on. Cursing my forgetfulness, I started walking again. I had my Christmas gift from Hermione to wear anyway, and I could easily Transfigure anything into a new bracelet. As I walked through the castle, trying to clear my mind for Occlumency purposes, I realized that it was actually quite late, almost dinner time. I must have slept for longer than I'd thought. Hermione would be frantic, but I knew that Harry and Ron would be downright nosy to know where I'd been.

"There you are." Harry's surprisingly cold voice stopped me as soon as I stepped through the portrait hole. The Common Room was empty minus him and Ron- everyone had to be at dinner.

"Look at her. You've been with a Death Eater today, haven't you?" Ron demanded, and I lifted my chin defiantly, ready for a fight. "Sarah, enough is enough. Tell us the truth."

"I've never lied to you." I said clearly, and that wasn't a lie either. If I really thought about it, I hadn't been _lying_ to my friends at all, I just wasn't saying anything. Harry snorted.

"Fine then, you haven't told us what's bothering you, and we know it has to do with a Death Eater. You've been following Malfoy a lot lately. That's what you were doing today, isn't it?" He accused, and I stalked closer to them, anger already rising. They had a right to be concerned. They had a right to ask me _once or twice_ if I was alright. But then they should've let it go.

"How do you know that I was following Malfoy, Harry? Maybe I was feeling ill today and decided to go to the Hospital Wing, or to Dumbledore, huh? Maybe it's not just about your ridiculous obsession with Malfoy and it's about _me?!_" I almost shouted at him. As per the usual, that surprised Harry, me shouting so quickly, but not Ron.

"_Because you went off the map!"_ He shouted right back, pointing down at the table between Harry and him. Sure enough, my traitor, the Marauders Map, was resting on it, open and functioning. "Guess who else magically disappeared, like he always does? Malfoy. You went somewhere with Malfoy, _that's_ why you look so ill, and _that's _why you skipped classes." Ron charged me, throwing a look at Harry to back him up.

"We've asked McGonagall, Madam Pompfrey, and even Dumbledore for Merlin's sake if they know something-" Harry started, but I shouted right over him.

"You went to _Dumbledore? _Merlin, Harry, what is your problem?!" I demanded in disbelief, but he yelled right over me, furious that I'd interrupted him.

"_He told me to trust you!_ Frankly, we've been having a hard time doing that. Tell us once and for all, WHAT IS BUGGING YOU?!" He roared, taking a step forward, getting in my face.

"I've told you before, but you won't _listen to me! There are some things I __**can't**__ tell you!_ Don't you get it?! I _CAN'T!" _I cried back, trying to keep my resolve and not burst into tears. It was sad that I'd had a more civilized conversation with Malfoy then with my own friends.

"No, Sarah, it's not that you 'can't'. _It's that you WON'T!" _Ron bellowed, and I felt my vision start to blur with tears.

"I want to; you don't know how bad it feels not being able to! Do you think I enjoy keeping things from you, not being able to tell _anyone_ what's going to happen, what I've seen?!" I nearly shouted myself hoarse, feeling tears well over and the room began to darken. Harry started to shout something back when I barely heard myself choke, the heel of my left hand shooting to my head when it literally _shook _inside. Bellatrix was on the other side, pounding down the gates to my mind, feeling my anger, my mixed emotions and most importantly, my weakness. With a great, shuddering gasp, my body froze, tears still wet on my face as I put all my energy frantically into a pileup, trying to remember my Occlumency, and how to repel a mental attack.

"Sarah? _Sarah?" _Harry's voice was from far away, and he slowly was coming closer, looking very frightened, but I couldn't fathom why. Even though I was fighting Bellatrix hard, I could feel my eyes widening with terror- she was going to get in. Feeling my defeat already, she pushed hard and broke through, making me scream with pain and the world instantly go dark.


	20. Chapter 20

20

Harry POV

Sarah's whole body shuddered and she froze, face turning white. Ron and I quickly shared a glance before I slowly started towards her, calling her name. Her eyes were terribly mesmerizing, wide and unseeing, yet filling with fear. Seconds later she crumpled with a scream and started to thrash- she was having a seizure. "_Sarah!" _I yelled, falling next to her and trying to hold her still. The portrait hole burst open and Hermione appeared, dropping her books when she saw Sarah thrashing and jerking, eyes fluttering.

"_What did you do?!"_ She wailed, but turned tail and ran for help. Her question burned in my mind as Sarah's seizure only got more intense as the seconds slipped away- _what had we done?_ Ron and I had just shouted at her, determined for an answer until it literally broke her. This seizure was our fault. Hermione had begged us not to do it, being the better friend and respecting Sarah's wishes. This was the second time I'd hurt Sarah with a stupid mistake, the first was bad enough, but the fits could end up being much worse.

"Out of my way!" McGonagall barked as she ducked through the portrait hole, immediately waving her wand as I scrambled backward. Levitating Sarah onto a stretcher, she left as quickly as she had come, leaving Ron and I to race after her and Hermione. Madam Pompfrey was already waiting for her, and in mere moments they had her in a bed and Madam Pompfrey was flying around, waving her wand, and gathering potions in a made haste. "Back, back off, you three. Now, what caused this, do you know?" McGonagall ordered, even though her voice shook slightly, making us move back to the other side of the ward across from Sarah. Hermione shot the two of us an angry look.

"It-it was our fault, Professor. Harry and I were so worried about her, and-"

"AND?" McGonagall nearly thundered, making Ron look quickly down.

"We tried to get her to talk about it and we had an argument. That's what sparked the seizure." I finished for him, feeling my neck burn with shame as McGonagall's lips nearly vanished in her anger.

"Minerva, I need you!" Madam Pompfrey called, and McGonagall turned on her heel to consult her. "I already gave her the strongest sedative she can take- but it's like I gave her water!" Madam Pompfrey nearly wailed.

"Let me call Professor Dumbledore," McGonagall said, flicking off her Patronus to call him. As she did so, Sarah's fit suddenly stopped, as if she'd turned a switch. Sarah was as stiff as a board, breathing shallowly; her eyes squeezed shut as if concentrating. Her braid was coming out, strands sticking to her sweaty forehead. Her face should have been flushed from effort, but it was still ghostly white.

"Sarah, can you hear me?" Pompfrey said, gently touching her shoulder. Sarah didn't react, just stayed perfectly stiff. Seconds later, the doors opened, and Dumbledore strode down the ward, eyes flashing. He immediately conjured a chair and sat beside her, watching her intently. "She's already had the strongest sedative I can give her, but it's not working." Pompfrey supplied, and Dumbledore nodded absently, twirling his wand in his fingers.

"Her mind is fortified, I cannot tell what is happening. I don't understand why she would use Occlumency now." Dumbledore said, sounding very guarded. I shared a look with Ron and Hermione- what was happening to her? Dumbledore raised his other hand as if to touch her brow, when Sarah choked and convulsed again, making Dumbledore withdraw his hand and pick up his wand. He cast a few spells silently, but they had no affect that I could see. Frowning, he stood up and Vanished his chair. "Harry, Mr. Weasley, Ms. Granger, a word, if you will." He said getting up and already walking past us. Hermione walked ahead of us, still clearly angry and I couldn't blame her for it.

"Would you care to explain this?" He said, turning back around to face us once we were farther away from Sarah. Hermione shot us another angry look and crossed her arms.

"It's our fault, sir. We were trying to get Sarah to open up and get whatever was on her chest off. Things got kind of heated, and during the argument she froze, then started having the seizure." I said, gesturing lightly to Ron and already feeling like crap as Dumbledore's furious gaze landed especially on me. I'd asked him about Sarah, and he'd specifically warned me to leave her alone. I was too much of a prat to have listened to him.

"I told you to trust her, Harry. You knew maybe more than I did how _fragile_ Ms. Wimkil was. Do not pry at her again." He said, his voice like ice, and I didn't dare look up; I only nodded mutely with Ron. Dumbledore turned and went back up the ward, retaking his position beside Sarah. Unable to look at Hermione, I sat heavily on the bed closest to me and ran a hand through my hair, feeling incredibly guilty. I never learned from my mistakes- this was the second time I'd screwed Sarah because of a stupid gut feeling that led to a stupid mistake. This time was even worse, however, because I pushed her for my own gain. Ron slowly sat next to me, looking at the floor, and it made me feel even worse. At first, Ron didn't really care, but I'd kept bugging him about it until he finally took my side. He didn't deserve part of the blame.

"I hope you listen to him, and her next time." Hermione said acidly, sitting across from us and shooting an anxious look towards Sarah. "I _told_ you not to. I _told_ you that I didn't know anything, and that Sarah wasn't hiding _anything_ from you."

"Sorry, 'Mione." Ron muttered.

"Don't apologize to _me."_ Hermione hissed, her hands twisting nervously in her lap, not even looking at us. "Apologize to Sarah." She looked down at her hands, started crying, looked at us, then back at her hands. Not knowing what to say, I looked back down. Then the sheer torture of waiting began. The three of us said nothing to each other, just sat helplessly and watched, waiting for the fits to run their course. Sarah froze and then fell into convulsions again like clockwork, some of them more intense then others. After a short, tiny seizure, her sixth for the day, she settled down and the sedative took effect. Dumbledore stood and along with Madam Pompfrey, started waving their wands over her, running tests and trying to find out more.

"Interesting…her mind is still blocked, even from me." Dumbledore broke the silence finally, dropping a hand he was holding over her forehead as Madam Pompfrey straightened her out and started working like mad again. Looking troubled, he strode out of the Hospital Wing without another word.

Sarah POV

I felt like I had when I was thirteen and I had my foot bitten by a dog over the summer. It had swollen up to about the size of a football, and I couldn't do anything on my own. Even with help, all tasks were a challenge. I'd felt like crying. The feeling now was almost exactly the same. The feather around my neck was my light in the darkness, but it couldn't do much. Everything was hard- concentrating was hard, breathing was hard, and fighting back against Bellatrix was near impossible. When the first seizure hit, I was focusing on keeping her from latching onto anything, not a memory, not a function, nothing. She'd broken in, but we'd only fought tooth and nail in my memories. After a long battle, I'd pushed her out, then taken the chance to dive hard into _her_ head. It was a scary place- wickedly dark and cruel, but it caused her pain, made _her_ have the seizures, not me. I'd fought her in her own head, trying to lay my 'hands' on any information I could, but Bellatrix, even while having a fit, was far too skilled at Occlumens. She'd kicked me out and it started all over again. The second time around, I felt weighted down, sluggish. But then I'd get a sudden burst of energy, almost kicking her out, but when the energy would suddenly die, I'd be back to square one. I couldn't understand it, it'd never happened to me before. It was as if I wasn't responding to my own thoughts.

I had no idea of time. It could have been days, even weeks for all I knew. We just went back and forth, back and forth, each time getting weaker and slower. The fight was bitter- we both wanted information, but we kept each other at bay. _Finally_, I simply barricaded my mind after forcing Bellatrix out, and she didn't attack again, but slunk back to her own mind and strengthened it, ending our miniature war in a stalemate. Exhausted, I let my mind relax behind its borders, and a sedative waiting to take control quickly took hold, helping to calm me down. Before I knew it, I was drifting off into peaceful sleep.

As if I'd risen from inky blackness, I suddenly opened my eyes to see the sterile white ceiling of the Hospital Wing. My body felt broken and disconnected, and my head was fuzzy. Resisting the urge to curse, I pushed myself up a little ways, intent on sitting up fully, but the barrage of pain that came from the simple movement made me quickly reconsider. On my right, Hermione was asleep in a chair, head leaning back, a book fallen in her lap. The sight of her made my heart clench, and I slowly looked to the left. Ron was leaning against the wall, snoring quietly, and Harry's head was drooped. Looking at them, I could only feel guilt. If I could only tell them the truth, all of this wouldn't have happened, and we'd have been happy. Hearing footsteps, I looked away from Harry to see Madam Pompfrey coming over to me. "How are you feeling, Sarah?" She asked, but I put a finger to my lips when Ron grunted slightly; Madam Pompfrey's voice had echoed loudly around us. She huffed and repeated her question quietly.

"My head hurts," My voice came out jagged and rough, making me wince at the sound of it. I sounded like a chain-smoker. Madam Pompfrey summoned a potion and I drank it, feeling instant relief in my head.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," Madam Pompfrey said to the empty bottle as she set it down on the nightstand, avoiding my gaze. She played nervously with her hands then before looking back up to me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, instantly remembering when she and Dumbledore had ran tests on my head and claimed nothing was wrong, but the changes in their expression had made it clear that everything wasn't alright.

"Professor Dumbledore and I have talked and researched our findings vigorously, but, unfortunately, we both came to the same conclusion." She said sadly, instantly making me nervous. Merlin, what _now?_

"Madam Pompfrey, please just tell me," I said quietly, glad that my friends were asleep. She hesitated, then looked down before she spoke.

"We both believe that the high stress placed on your brain from Occlumency and Bellatrix Lestrange's presence have made your nervous system susceptible to epilepsy. We both thought that since your Occlumens skills were improving, you'd be able to close the chances of you having it. But during your fits, it became clear that the severity of them had to do with epilepsy." She said after taking a deep breath, leaving me to blink stupidly. _Epilepsy? _The Muggle disease?

"And this-the epilepsy, it was caused by the mark?" I asked hoarsely, and Madam Pompfrey nodded after a moment. "Is there any magical cure, anything I can take that will help?" I pressed, but she shook her head.

"The only thing we could do for you would be to give you a supply of sedatives at all times, to ease a seizure's affects once they happen. It is very rare among wizards. You'd have to consult a doctor if you wished to take medication for it." Madam Pompfrey said quietly. She propped me up, fluffed my pillow, then left, leaving me to think hard, trying not to cry. The mark had been bad enough- but I'd been getting by, and living with it. But now I had epilepsy, a disease so rare among wizards, there was no treatment for me. And it was all because of _Bellatrix Lestrange._ Such hate rose in me that my left hand clenched into a fist. A bandage was wrapped around my wrist; I'd been admitted without a covering for the mark. I glared at the square white cotton, feeling more grief than I'd ever let myself feel because of the mark. My eyes smarted, then burned, and despite my best efforts, started to make tears. One trickled down my face and landed on the sheets just as Harry jerked, his head snapping up and his eyes opening blearily. He quickly rubbed them under his glasses then started, seeing that I was awake. Then his face dropped.

"Are you ok?" He asked quietly, and he sounded so destroyed, so ashamed, that I knew that right then and there I had to tell him what I could so we could make a fresh start.


	21. Chapter 21

21

Draco POV

As soon as she'd stepped over the threshold and the door had shut, I picked up the nearest object and threw it. Stalking angrily through the room, I swept my arm through piles of trash, knocking objects aside. No one had ever been truly nice to me, they'd always wanted something in return, favor, power, _something._ But Sarah had shown up here at her own risk, at her own pain to try and save me. She didn't even know what my reaction would have been! I couldn't even see her as a Mudblood anymore, despite all the rumors and lies my parents had told me about them. They said they leeched magic off of others, had thicker blood, used their wands backwards, anything to get me to believe them and hate them like all other purebloods. Sarah was the glaringly obvious contradiction that woke me up from the lies- she was selfless, strong, and most importantly, patient. When I'd turned down her offer, she'd gotten up and left when I'd asked her to, just like that. Jerking to a halt in front of the Vanishing Cabinet, I noticed the hand-knitted bracelet she always wore to cover the mark was still lying on the floor. I'd ripped it in half in my haste, and looking at it made me burn with shame. I was such an idiot, I was letting myself be played, letting my life be decided for me. Stooping, I picked it up and sat heavily in the chair she'd occupied, turning the broken band over and over in my fingers.

I wanted to rebel, to wrench my life back from my parents and their choices and be free. Sarah's simple actions had disabused me from all I'd ever known; a shocker, it was true, but once the initial shock faded, it only made sense. _Take her offer._ My heart seemed to say, speeding up slightly at the thought of it. No one would ever accept me or trust me, maybe not even her. It would put me in a totally isolated position; no family, no support, nothing. But would it be worth it, I'd be _free._

However, the more I thought about it, the more I knew it wasn't just about me. If I was to break away from the Death Eaters, my family would be punished for it. The mission I'd been assigned was their lifeline, and it would either doom or save the Malfoy family. Even if I'd been lied to and misled, I couldn't let my family get the rap for what I wanted to do. _You know you can't do it._ My head said in a condescending tone. _You have no choice; you must remain loyal to the Dark Lord. _Could I swallow my pride and have the courage to go in a new direction, contrary to what everyone thought of me, of the Malfoy family? Closing my fist around her bracelet, I stood, glaring halfheartedly at the Vanishing Cabinet. I couldn't make this decision, not when I was furiously angry and sad for what had happened to Sarah, a girl I didn't even know. Her strange behavior and appearance all made sense now, but it was sick. She couldn't sleep comfortably; she'd lost a lot of weight, and being at school made her feel ill all the time. Strange protectiveness rose in me- she shouldn't have to live like that, at the mercy of a deranged Death Eater. It was shocking, how much damage that mark was doing, and how Bellatrix could do it. Why would anyone feel joy hurting someone that much? I opened my hand and looked at the bracelet. Couldn't I do both? Couldn't I protect her and my family at the same time? She'd shared to me, now I had to share back about how even if _I_ didn't want to do this, it was my duty.

I hated to admit it, but I needed help. The only person who could help me in Hogwarts was Snape. I left the Room then and started out for Snape's office. As I passed through the hallways, I slipped Sarah's bracelet into my pocket- I'd have to give it back to her. Arriving at Snape's door, I knocked.

"Come in," he called peevishly, as usual. As I walked in and closed the door, I didn't miss the mingled look of surprise on his face before he banished it for a slightly bored look. I'd told him to stay away from me ever since he made the mistake of mentioning my father at Slughorn's Christmas Party. He was locked away in Azkaban for failing the Dark Lord. The only way to get him out was to get Voldemort back in power. "Draco," He greeted me coolly, going back to grading the papers on his desk.

"She knows," I tried to say it just as calmly, but I sounded slightly hoarse, something I hated. Snape always treated me like a child- too emotionally compromised and fragile to be a Death Eater. Maybe he was right. Snape's quill stopped. "You know who I'm talking about."

"You're still here, aren't you? She obviously can't do anything about it, Draco. She's just trying to intimidate you." Snape said, starting to write again, not even looking up.

"She got into the Room of Requirement. She's offered—things." I caught myself quickly, but Snape missed nothing. He laid down his quill and looked at me carefully. For a second, we only stared at each other, his eyes narrowing slightly. Then Snape seemed to take a deep breath.

"Draco, I've seen your reluctance, and it's completely alright, completely natural. If you wished to leave the Dark Lord's service—I could aid you in that regard." He offered quietly, not breaking eye contact with me, and I blinked. _What?! _Snape, the Dark Lord's most trusted servant was offering me a way out? Snape was committing perfidy? Seconds later, I realized it was a trick- I was being tested for loyalty. The Dark Lord had probably set him up to this.

"If you think _I_ would break with the Death Eaters, you are obviously mistaken." I said coldly, through gritted teeth. This would cost me, thinking that I could trust Snape again. He'd speak of this to the Dark Lord; my suspicious behavior, my reluctance, my hesitation. "It's because you think I'm weak, isn't it? You think I'm a child!" I accused him blindly, displaced anger making me speak harshly.

"_No, _Draco, that wasn't my point. However, if you don't want my help, then fine. You've made it clear that you certainly are not a child." Snape snapped, snatching up his quill again.

"What protection could _you_ give me? No one is above the Dark Lord; no one can or should go against his wishes, against his power." I shot back, and he tensed for a second, I'd hit a soft spot. But I was curious, if Snape was actually serious, not acting on someone's orders, what _could_ he do for me? It was very suspicious of him to tense up when I'd questioned him, and it made me wonder if this wasn't all a test after all. Snape looked up- eyes cold again. I must have imagined him in a moment of weakness- Snape would always be loyal to the Dark Lord, it was his nature.

"Very wise of you, to remember what you've been taught. However, if you were willing to listen—where are you going?" He demanded irritably as I turned and started for the door. I didn't want to listen, not to his lies, his tricks. Snape was devious as hell, and I couldn't trust him not to turn on me. That moment when I thought that maybe, just maybe he was disloyal had been a figment of my overly hopeful imagination. Besides, if he was going to try to trick a _Malfoy, _then I didn't want to speak to him anyway. I wanted to approach Sarah again, to give back her bracelet and then to try and gain her trust. I needed a reason to trust her, and maybe she'd offer that again.

"To talk to Wimkil." I snapped, glaring back at him. Like it was any of his business.

"I'm afraid that will be impossible." Snape said loftily, starting to grade papers again.

"Why?" I demanded, thrown completely off course. I wondered what the hell his problem was. "Because you don't _want _me to?"

"No, Draco, she's in the Hospital Wing. Apparently your Aunt provoked a round of seizures." Snape smirked at his paper as I froze. "I'm afraid she is… _unavailable_." Panic slammed into my mind, but I didn't let it show. Was my only link to freedom about to be crushed? Had my Aunt destroyed my only hope? He looked up, raising an eyebrow at me, considering I was still standing frozen in his office. I blinked then scowled, trying to cover up yet another one of my mistakes.

"That'll only make it easier," I snapped, storming out of his office, starting to panic once I was out of Snape's sight. He was useless now, and the only person who was willing and could help me now was Sarah. Now I didn't even know if she was alright, if she'd been hurt, if Bellatrix had violated her mind, nothing. Even if I didn't want to admit it, I needed her, and I couldn't lose her now.

I needed to see her and talk to her as soon as possible.


	22. Chapter 22

22

Sarah POV

"Are you ok?" Harry asked quietly, looking absolutely ashamed. He perked up and opened his mouth when he saw that I was crying, but I hastily destroyed the evidence.

"I'm alright." I said, and Harry winced at the sound of my raw voice. He looked at his hands, bowing his head, and it hurt to see him that way. I had to free him from his shame- it wasn't totally his fault that he was forced to cornering me and shouting himself hoarse. If I had given him more hints, if I'd tried to keep our friendship from being destroyed instead of running away from the problem this might not have happened. "Harry-" I started, but he instantly cut me off.

"This is all my fault." He said lowly. "This is the second time I've hurt you because I was too stupid to stop myself." He looked up, looking torn. "Would you forgive me if I apologized? I don't deserve it, but I have to ask." He said quietly.

"Harry, this is partially my fault. I didn't try to ameliorate the situation at all, I didn't try to calm you down, or give you more hints, nothing. There are things I've been keeping from you, and I've been too cowardly to try to explain why." I said, and he blinked, looking confused. "You don't need to be forgiven, Harry. You need to be told the truth." We looked at each other a second. "All of you need an explanation. Then I can apologize to you." I said as firmly as possible.

"Ok," Harry said, taking a deep breath. "But you can't deny that the seizure was our fault," He said, gesturing to Ron. "We were stupid, and even if you weren't sharing, we weren't accepting. I'm sorry. He's sorry." He said, and I smiled softly.

"You're always forgiven, no matter how stupid you are." I said firmly, and he grinned, then reached over and poked Ron hard in the side, who swore, flailed around, then caught his balance, blinking rapidly.

"_Sarah!" _He exclaimed, sitting up straight, then his expression dropped, looking like a sad puppy. "Merlin, I'm sorry, Sarah, I was an idiot-"

"Yes, but so was I. It's ok, Ron. I'm going to be fine." I insisted, and he too winced at the sound of my voice. "Wake Hermione," I said as Harry and Ron shared a glance. "I have to tell you all something, something really important." Ron did as I asked, and Hermione nearly had a conniption when she saw I was awake, and then I had to stop her as she started yelling at Harry and Ron- I didn't know when she found out what had happened or how she'd reacted previously, but she was furious now. "_Hermione._ It's ok. Seriously." I said, and she sat heavily back down in a little huff, not at all appeased.

"You said you had something to say?" She said quietly. I took a deep breath, trying to arrange my thoughts. I'd have to go way back to explain all of this as carefully as I could.

"At the beginning of the year, when I had my first seizure, I figured out something _really _important from my dreams over the summer. I remembered all of them, and more. I made a connection through Bellatrix's head, one that would destroy their entire plan. That's why I had the seizure- she attacked me to keep me quiet." I paused when both Ron and Harry made angry noises in their throats, furious. "She set up this kind of block in my head, through the mark. Her influence keeps me from telling the secret. When I try it hurts. A lot." As per the usual, my left hand curled into a fist. "When I was in the Hospital Wing with Dumbledore, I still tried to tell him what I'd found out, but he knew already."

"_What?" _Hermione gasped, moving to the edge of her seat, and Harry, Ron and her shared a quick look.

"He explained to me a lot about what's going to happen." I said quietly, still hating the idea that he was going to die, it made me shiver. As I thought about it, a little bit of panic sprung up in me about Dumbledore's comment about how I would die if the mark wasn't removed, and I shivered again. Hermione took my hand and squeezed it, misinterpreting my shiver. "If Bellatrix or anyone else tried to get in my head, to try and make me tell what I knew, Dumbledore had to make sure that I wouldn't, that I _couldn't._" I said, unable to look at them anymore. "I made the Unbreakable Vow." I said softly, and silence spread through the room. I told myself that I wasn't going to get emotional, that it would only hurt my friends more, but I couldn't help myself. I was literally tongue-tied- and I hated being in that position. "I tried to leave hints, but I couldn't figure out a way to tell you that wouldn't make it seem like I didn't want to tell you things. I didn't think you'd trust me. I didn't deserve your trust anyway, I was keeping secrets." I whispered, starting to cry. No one said anything, and after a moment of calming myself down and wiping away tears, I looked back up. Ron was open-mouthed, still in shock. Harry looked angry yet thoughtful, looking down at his shoes again. Hermione was crying, of course. "So, Harry," I started again, my voice surer, and he looked up, "_I'm _sorry. All of this bitterness and uncertainty was my fault entirely. You can try to blame yourselves, but the fault really is mine."

"Wow," Hermione said softly.

"So with regards to your guesses about Malfoy," I said, and both Harry and Ron winced, "I can't confirm or deny anything. He has something to do with the future. Yes, I'm following him and trying to talk to him, but it could or couldn't be about what you think. All I can tell you is that it's important that I speak with him, no matter what." I tried to say it strongly, but considering I was pale, in the Hospital and my voice was hoarse, it probably didn't have that big of an effect.

"Let's just forget everything that happened. A fresh start." Ron suggested. Harry nodded, still looking thoughtful, like I knew he would, and Hermione did too, smiling weakly.

"Right," I said, then stretched out my arms with a wince. I still felt like hell. Occlumency had saved me, but it was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Unfortunately, the thanks went to Snape for that one. Even if he was playing the hardest role of all, I still didn't like him. "So, how are you?" I asked conversationally, trying to lighten the mood. Ron looked at me in disbelief, and Hermione started to laugh. They chatted with me for a long time, and Harry told me all about all the lessons with Dumbledore I'd missed. I found the part about the Horcruxes fascinating, and I made a note to research it as much as I could. Harry didn't know much yet, and I knew that he'd have to start trying to get a memory from Slughorn. Maybe that would help him figure out more about the Horcruxes. I didn't even know much about them, Dumbledore hadn't shared that with me. But I knew that whatever Harry learned from Dumbledore about Horcruxes was going to be vitally important- and everything would rest on it. When there was a lapse in the conversation, I got to thinking about what Madam Pompfrey had told me. If we were being completely honest with each other today, I might as well tell my friends. "Hey guys?" I asked quietly. Hermione looked away from the window, Ron stopped staring into space, and Harry turned around, leaning on the top of his chair. "I have some bad news."

"What?" Ron asked after the three of them shared another look. I knew what they were all thinking- that it'd been a hell of a day already, what more did I have to share? Suddenly, I felt really stupid, like I was trying to act superior with all of the knowledge I had and they didn't. I took a deep breath, trying to focus.

"Ron, you probably won't understand this, Harry, I don't know if you will either. Madam Pompfrey has been checking up on me a lot lately and I didn't know why. She told me today that because of the mark I've developed epilepsy." I said quietly. Hermione gasped, standing up, but Ron and Harry looked at each other, confused and a little scared by Hermione's reaction.

"I don't believe it." Hermione whispered, hands over her mouth. "How?"

"What _is _it?!" Harry interjected.

"It's a disease in the brain when there are random sporadic bursts of energy. It causes seizures." Hermione said in a hard voice. Ignoring Harry and Ron, who where trying to find out more, she turned back to me. "How did this happen?" She asked, sounding angry.

"The stress from Bellatrix's connection. It's put pressure on my brain." I said quietly.

"So you'll be having seizures that aren't from her?" Ron asked in a hard voice.

"Supposedly. There aren't any magical treatments for me." I said before Ron could ask. "All Madam Pompfrey could give me would be sedatives to ease a seizure once it was already started." I elaborated. Harry swore furiously and punched the wall, making a loud banging noise.

"What is going on down here?!" Madam Pompfrey sounded outraged before she even came into view. She saw Harry sucking blood of his knuckles and she huffed, coming over and healing his knuckles with a wave of her wand, then pointed it at the wall and the dent Harry made popped back out. "Now, I think that is quite enough for one day. It's very late. The three of you need to leave." She said firmly.

"We'll be back tomorrow," Hermione promised, and we exchanged half-hearted smiles. She fully understood what epilepsy meant- it would take awhile for Harry and Ron to fully understand.

"Bring me some books, please. I'll need _something_ to do." I said, trying to remain cheerful, even though I was shaken. Harry's reaction had stunned me, and made me recognize that Harry still blamed himself for everything, even though I'd given him evidence to prove that it wasn't him, it was me, and when it wasn't me, it was Bellatrix Lestrange.

"I'll bring all of your books and some homework. Take care," Hermione said, starting to go as Madam Pompfrey started to push my friends down the ward.

"_Rest."_ Ron stressed, and I smiled and waved until they were gone. Madam Pompfrey came busily back, Summoning things from a storage cupboard and her office.

"It really wasn't Harry's fault that he acted that way. I told my friends about the epilepsy." I told her softly as she measured out potion. She tisked quietly, setting down the bottle and handing me the glass.

"It's something to help you sleep." She explained. With a sigh, I downed it, handed her the glass, and scrunched back down to a lying position. Already feeling sleepy, I curled up, taking off my glasses and lazily putting them on the nightstand. The last thing I remembered was tucking my arm back under the blankets.


	23. Chapter 23

23

Sarah POV

I'd been sleeping so well, I barely realized someone was lightly shaking my shoulder. Thinking it was my friends, I mumbled a curse and wormed an arm out of the cozy blankets and felt blindly for my glasses. A slightly cold hand pressed them into my hand. Still ridiculously sleepy (I probably hadn't slept off all of the sedative yet), I pushed myself up with a low groan and another swearword. I used a hand to sweep the messy bits of hair that had come out of my braid out of my face and shoved my glasses on. Even with my glasses, the world was blurry, and my body was still very warm and tired. Squinting, I took in the shape standing next to me. It was tall, mostly black, but with a pale blob for a face and blond hair on top of it. It could only be- "Draco?" I asked sleepily, my voice still raw and hoarse. His outline flinched. "What's wrong?" I slurred, sitting up straight and crossing my legs, rubbing at my eyes. His shape became clearer until I could actually see his face.

"I wanted to see- I-I wanted to ask you something. I know it's early, and you obviously aren't well," he continued to talk quietly but nervously as I curiously leaned over to look down the ward at the giant clock hanging next to the doors. It was about three in the morning. "and that being near me hurts, but, I had to talk to you."

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine," I said, and then yawned behind my hand, terribly curious as to why he'd come to see me under his own steam. Could I have had such a great effect on him already?

"Please," he said, gesturing that I lean back, obviously not buying that I was ok. Gratefully, I pushed my pillows up and leaned back against them, tucking stray chunks of hair behind my ear in an annoyed fashion- there was a reason I always wore braids.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked lightly. Malfoy hesitated, then conjured a chair and sat, got nervous, stood, and then sat again. I waited patiently as he ran a hand hastily through his hair, rubbed his neck, played with his hands. He was clearly uncomfortable.

"I want to talk about Snape." He said quietly.

"Snape?" I repeated, trying to wake up. I was so numb I didn't even feel the burn from being near him. "You know that I can't say some things." I warned him, and he waved a hand in dismissal.

"Just now…he offered me protection if I wanted to leave them." He said. I took a deep breath, but he kept on, "I thought I could trust him, but what he offered, it was probably a test, I can't trust him with anything anymore. I wanted to know what you know about him, if you can." I let out the breath, looking at him for a second, starting to wake up. This was dangerous territory, if I couldn't trust Malfoy, and I told him things about Snape, would he totally blow Snape's cover? And even if I could trust him, any Death Eater could use Occlumency and pluck the information right from his head.

"Look, no matter what you think of Snape- he's probably the only one you can trust. He's the only one who can help you. I'd trust him wholeheartedly, and no one else." I said slowly, trying to express what I wanted while keeping all my agreements and not blowing Snape's cover.

"No one else? You wouldn't even trust Potter?" He asked, and I glared at him before lying back down and taking off my glasses.

"If you're going to be a prat then I'll gladly go back to sleep," I muttered, closing my eyes. For a second, I heard nothing, and then-

"Can I trust you?" It was very quiet and very guarded, but it definitely came from Malfoy. I cracked an eye, then pushed my glasses back up my nose. Draco was pointedly not looking at me, so I looked at the nightstand before I spoke again.

"I want you to; but, then again, I need to know that I can trust you too." I said softly, propping myself up with one arm. I looked at the sheets, and Draco at the floor for about a minute.

"You forgot this," He broke the silence, getting up, Vanishing his chair, and pulling my bracelet from Mrs. Weasley out of his dress pants' pocket. The poor thing was ripped right in half. "_Reparo." _He muttered, and it sewed itself back up again in green (no surprise), making a stripe down the patterned blue and purple. He handed it to me and I took it, twisting it back over onto my wrist, then pulling the bandage out from underneath it and crumpling it in my fist. My head was aching again, and all I wanted to do was sleep- but Malfoy, being all troubled, mysterious and slightly suspicious was here- and I found myself caring about him. Even if he was an arrogant prat, I didn't want him to kill Dumbledore; I didn't want him to end up like Wormtail or Regulus.

"Thanks," I replied, then frowned when I felt a prickling sensation starting in my fingertips. It was like pins and needles, but I'd just used my hands- they couldn't have been falling asleep.

"I'll go so you can sleep," He said, turning to go.

"Draco," I started, and he turned back around. "I want to trust you, and I want you to trust me. But if we both want it enough, it'll take work and equal sharing from the both of us. My friends know now to leave you alone, especially when I'm with you." Draco looked at me a second, his grey eyes flickering over me. I knew I looked like hell; pale face, messy hair, huge bags. But I honestly didn't care what he thought of me. All I wanted was for him to trust me. _I _wasn't going to go running to any Death Eaters. I spent all of my time fighting them back.

"You mean friends." He summarized, and I shrugged. He paused, obviously struggling with pride- I was Muggleborn after all, and a best friend to Harry Potter, his arch nemesis.

"You don't have to decide now. Just remember that I'm literally sworn to secrecy." I said to my fingers, rubbing them with a frown as the tingling became more pronounced. My left wrist was starting to ache again- the drugs must have been wearing off.

"What did you mean, when you said that your friends know _now_ to leave me alone?" He asked, avoiding another one of my proposals. I resisted the urge to smile; he'd be a great politician one day.

"It's been hard, keeping the balance between my friends lately. I didn't know how to explain to them why I wouldn't talk about certain things, why I was leaving for long periods of time and not telling them where I went. Harry and Ron got so worried about me that we had an argument. Your aunt picked up on that and attacked me." I summarized and Draco leaned over the end of my bed, his hands turning to fists on the metal.

"Your last seizures were _their _fault?" He almost snarled, and I blinked, surprised at his reaction. Then I frowned. It was getting harder to concentrate on him- the tingling had turned to prickling, and I could hear my pulse in my head.

"No, they were Bellatrix's fault. Once I fought her out of my head, I attacked her back. That's why I had so many. We fought back and forth for a long time." I snapped at him, then raised the heel of my left hand to my head again, wincing. _Merlin,_ my head hurt.

"What's wrong?" He asked after a moment of swallowing his tongue. I could tell he was still mad about how Harry and Ron had contributed to Bellatrix's attack. I didn't know why- but I intended to find out. Then I processed his question and it hit me. All of my symptoms were that of an upcoming seizure.

"I have epilepsy. I-I think I'm going to need Madam Pompfrey." I stammered, trying to take deep breaths and avoid having a seizure in front of Malfoy.

"What's epilepsy?" He asked, and I mentally cursed his pureblood wizard standing- of course he didn't know what it was. My breathing and heart rate increased suddenly, and I let myself fall off of my propped arm and back onto the pillows, hand still on my aching head.

"It's a disease of the brain—when bursts of displaced energy—make seizures. Unrelated to the mark," I panted.

"Since when?" Malfoy demanded, obviously missing the fact that I needed Madam Pompfrey. "Does it hurt?" He added, sounding concerned. Too focused on not having a fit, I ignored that comment, closed my eyes, and took a long, slow deep breath in, and then out. I did it again and the tingling started to die.

"You bloody prat," I growled halfheartedly under my breath. "I needed Madam Pompfrey." I opened my eyes and scowled weakly at him before rolling onto my side, suddenly exhausted again. As I was about to take my glasses off to sleep, Malfoy spoke.

"I could try it. Being friends. But we'd have to meet in secret, in the Room of Requirement."

"Bravo," I mumbled. "Come and tell me when later- I have a feeling I'll be here awhile." There was a pause.

"Give me your glasses then," He said, and I swiped them off my face with one hand and stuck it out into the air. Again, the slightly cold hand from before plucked them out of my hand for me. "Feel better," He said, but I was so sleepy, I still don't know if he actually said it or not.

"Night," I said in a garbled sigh before I sank into unconsciousness again. I slept a good long time, and when I did wake up, Madam Pompfrey instantly medicated me again and gave me a potions vial full of an emergency sedative potion, just in case. She informed me that the beautiful flowers sitting next to me were from my friends, and that they had visited while I was asleep. "When can I leave?" I asked, and she rolled her eyes, lowering her wand.

"When I say so." She sighed, exasperated, and walked off down the ward. I started out my unlimited free time by combing and braiding my hair by magic and freshening up. Considering that took about thirty seconds, I was instantly bored for the next hour and a half until I had another surprise visitor- Dumbledore.

"How are you, my dear?" He asked, sweeping down the ward and conjuring a squashy chair to sit beside me. I'd been sitting up in bed, legs crossed again and working on a worksheet for Ancient Runes when he'd strode through the door.

"Like it never even happened." I said with a smile, setting down my quill. That was a lie, and he knew it, but, being a gentleman, he didn't question me on it.

"Do you know the nature of the seizures, has Madam Pompfrey filled you in?" He asked, and I sensed the double meaning.

"I know I had, yikes, was it six seizures?" I started, and he nodded. I winced, but continued. "But that was only because I attacked Bellatrix back after I'd gotten her out of my head. We went back and forth for awhile, neither of us getting any information off the other…and Madam Pompfrey told me about the epilepsy." I finished in a softer tone, and Dumbledore's blue eyes seemed to see right through me as he studied me.

"You understand what it is?" He asked, and I nodded to the worksheet, noticing that I'd translated a rune incorrectly. "I'm deeply sorry for this turn of events, Sarah, but I know that you will pull through, as always."

"I've spoken to Malfoy. He knows. You know what I'm talking about." I changed the topic after a tiny moment of silence. "I offered it again, but all he did was ask me to leave, so I did. He's already been in to visit me here." Dumbledore shifted in his chair, pressing his fingertips together thoughtfully.

"He's seen it? The mark?" he elaborated, and I nodded once more. "I'm glad you've made the effort, Sarah. "I trust you've been careful in…explaining things." He said, and I gave him a look, making him chuckle and then ask, "Has Mr. Malfoy shown any reluctance, any emotion at all towards your offer?"

"He's been polite," I answered slowly, thinking back. "And he was certainly curious. But so far he's playing it by ear. I honestly couldn't tell you." I fudged a bit. I was still convinced that he came to see me for a personal reason, not because he was trying to learn more and report back to Voldemort. He'd gotten seriously angry when I'd told him about Harry and Ron's involvement in the seizures. I was taking into account that he hated them already, but he'd gone from curious to furious in a second- that was too good for acting. Did my mark and my condition make him squeamish? It was a mystery I had yet to solve.


	24. Chapter 24

24

Sarah POV

Despite Madam Pompfrey's protectiveness, I was out of the hospital wing in about three days. I'd only had one normal epilepsy seizure while I was there, and it left me really disoriented. It made me extremely nervous, and I made sure to take the emergency bottle of sedatives with me everywhere, even when I was surrounded by friends. Draco had come back to visit me, and we settled on a date to meet in the Room of Requirement. On that day, I told my friends that I would be gone for awhile, and when I'd assured them that I'd be fine, I headed out. My bag over my shoulder (I still had LOTS of homework to make up), I headed for the Room. Draco had told me to wrap the wall four times with my wand, and I did. Ten seconds later, the door materialized from nowhere and he quickly pulled me through. I raised my eyebrows at his rash act- it was like he was afraid I'd brought someone else. "Hi," I said cheerfully, moving past him into the room. I'd been out of the Hospital Wing for only a few days, and it was refreshing to be out and about.

"Hello," he said with a hint of amusement in his voice, but it was also cautious. He followed me back to the area by the Vanishing Cabinet. There was a large oval rug on the floor that was well worn. The armchair I'd fallen asleep in waiting for him was still where it was, off the rug to one side. The Vanishing Cabinet stood at the long end of the rug, tall and imposing, but covered with an old dusty tapestry for now. All around us was mountains of trash, and a dusty golden chandelier swung gently overhead, half of its candles burnt out. With a gentle sigh, I sank down onto the rug, sitting crosslegged. Malfoy stood by the armchair, one arm over the back, looking slightly bemused as I dug out my homework and hunted for a quill.

"So, have you taken you Apparition Test yet?" I asked as I found the quill and hunted for the textbook I needed. My mission today was to keep the conversation light- like I would with a friend. I wasn't going to mention anything Dark at all unless he brought it up.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked, and I nearly snorted at his gentlemanly manner.

"Your Apparition Test? To get the license?" I elaborated, yanking the textbook out of my bag and flipping for the right page.

"I'm not old enough, and I won't be for the next test coming up." Was his reply, and he sat in the armchair, looking so austere that I thought this would be impossible. He _always_ wore the fancy dress clothes of a 'higher ranking' wizard and he was sitting so ramrod straight that it looked uncomfortable.

"Bummer," I said, unscrewing my inkpot carefully. "I took mine right after Christmas."

"You're seventeen _already?"_ He asked, sounding skeptical. I looked up, my braid falling down my shoulder and into my lap. Malfoy was now leaning forward slightly- I'd gotten him engaged into the conversation. Good.

"Yup. It's weird being older than everyone else. But once I was thirteen, I got to go to Hogsmade for half of my second year." I supplied more information, going back to the worksheet and scrawling my name. Silence fell, and I filled out a few more answers before looking up again. I could do homework with my friends, but only when they were all doing it, or had something else to do. Malfoy was just sitting there, leaning over his knees, watching me. "So…how are you?" I asked the standard conversation starting question and going back to the sheet.

"Fine, thank you." Malfoy said with a hint of stiffness and I snorted, throwing down my quill, making him raise his eyebrows.

"Let me just clear something up- you do know what a _conversation_ is, don't you?" I teased lightly, and it worked. Malfoy scowled.

"Of course I do." He snapped back, and I almost snickered. He sounded incredibly defensive. Even better, he didn't get mad enough to throw me out of the Room so he could work on the Vanishing Cabinet.

"Then…" I made 'continue' motions with my hand. "Ask something, even if it's the weather, for Merlin's sake." He made an indignant noise but I went back to my worksheet. I let him fume for awhile, intending to continue the conversation if he didn't, but he finally asked something.

"Is a Mudblood's blood really brown?" He asked, and I blinked looking up. At first, I thought he wanted to insult me as a comeback, or that he was joking. But then I noticed that he looked a little embarrassed, but _very _serious. I instantly started laughing then, cupping my forehead with my left hand, marveling at his stupidity. Malfoy flushed and glared at me, but held my gaze until I quieted down. "I'm serious. That's what I've been told." He said quietly, and I realized that it'd been a mistake to laugh.

"Want to see?" I asked, drawing my wand.

"_No!" _Malfoy almost shouted, and I grinned, tucking it back up my sleeve. "That wasn't funny." Malfoy said, and when I looked up, he was scowling again.

"You were curious- but no, my blood is red, just like yours." I said, closing my worksheet into my textbook, screwing my inkpot's lid back on and getting to my feet. Giving Malfoy a tiny smile, I walked to the nearest pile of trash and started to walk around the perimeter of our little clearing, admiring all the junk that'd piled up in here. There were wigs, broken books, bicycles, broomsticks, clothing, you name it. I even found a cauldron that had warped to one side. From the farthest corner of the room, something reeked of evil, but that didn't surprise me. There were all sorts of strange artifacts in here.

"What's epilepsy?" Malfoy asked after awhile, and I quickly looked back at him, dropping the book I had in my hand, _Advanced Transfiguration Theory._ It slid off the pile and onto the floor. Malfoy didn't apologize for asking, he just watched me. It was slightly unnerving, and I hesitated for just a second. I was basing all of my hopes off of the fact that I could trust Malfoy. What if he went back to Bellatrix and told her everything about my new condition, courtesy of her?

"It's a disorder of the brain where energy is either blocked or forced into normal functions, and it causes a seizure." I said quietly, bending down to pick up the book again. I'd given him the same definition I gave Ron and Harry. Harry knew a smidge more than Ron did, but still, not a whole lot. I tried to downplay the whole thing so that they wouldn't worry, but I knew that once I had one in front of them they'd form new opinions.

"Does it hurt?" Malfoy asked as I flipped open the cover of the book and gazed aimlessly down the contents. The book wasn't even that old- and it was obvious that no one wanted it. _Maybe I should take it._ I thought, slipping it into the crook of my arm and walking back over to him, unsure how to answer his question.

"It's very disorienting." I admitted, dropping the book next to my bag with a _thump_, raising a tiny cloud of dust. "Sometimes it does hurt."

"You shouldn't have gotten epilepsy." Malfoy said in a hard voice, and I looked up. I couldn't say I was dreaming- he looked _furious._ "You don't deserve any of it." He said, his eyes flashing down to the bracelet on my left wrist, his left hand curling into a fist as he looked at it.

"What's done is done. If I could do something about it, I would." I said, unsure of what to say, my gaze stuck on Malfoy's steely grey one. Unable to look at him any longer, I went back to examining the trash around us.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, and for a moment, I thought he was joking. I glanced at him. There was a kind of burning in his eyes, a protective, almost brotherly gaze that made me shiver slightly. I quickly looked down then felt panic leap in my chest when my fingers started to tingle- I'd been around Malfoy too long, I was too distracted to keep this seizure from coming. I spun and nearly ran into Malfoy, who'd come closer having seen me freeze. "Where are you going?" He asked, sounding slightly irritated as I brushed past him, ignoring his question from before. Not bothering to answer, I knelt by my bag and started quickly rummaging through it, getting more and desperate when I couldn't find the sedative. With shaking hands, I turned my bag upside down and shook it hard. With a tiny _clink_, the bottle fell out. I snatched it, but my trembling and now burning fingers couldn't get the cork out. Malfoy strode quickly over, now figuring out that something was wrong. He was just kneeling next to me, reaching for the potion when I choked. As usual, the world went dark, even though I could still hear. My head felt hot, and it pounded in strange, harsh rhythms as I gasped, whimpered and twisted, unable to control myself. Over the roaring, I heard Malfoy gasp and a strong arm caught me when I fell backwards, then gently laid me on the floor to keep me from smashing into it. A hesitant, cool hand rested on my forehead, and my body jerked into his touch. I heard him shifting around, and then my head was being held securely. It lasted for about a minute more until with a raspy gasp, I forced my shaking body to stop. For awhile, I just panted and breathed, cursing Bellatrix in my head before opening my eyes. It quickly became clear then that my head was in Malfoy's lap, and he was leaning over me, looking almost panicked. Too tired to be embarrassed, I closed my eyes and winced- everything around his head was spinning.

"Sarah? Are you ok?" He asked very quietly, sounding scared.

"Fine," I groaned, and went to get up. He let me roll out of his lap, but as soon as I staggered to my feet, I almost crashed into the chair. An arm caught me around the torso before I bashed my face in and held me up as the room whirled by. "I'm just so dizzy." I mumbled, putting my arm over Malfoy's to steady myself, not even feeling the burn. "Really, m'okay," I almost slurred, turning around and slamming into his chest. His arms encircled my back as I wavered.

"Easy," I barely heard him advise over my new headache. Resting my head and a hand on his chest, I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the dizziness to pass, trying not to think about how close we were. His arms were around my waist, a little low, but I was a too busy to complain, and with every breath I was inhaling his smell- it was surprisingly musty for one who was always so clean. I knew my back was shaking, and I could only hope that he didn't think I was crying. "You should lie down." He said quietly, and the noise reverberated through his chest. I took a huge deep breath then stepped back, breaking his hold and lifting my gaze. Malfoy kept a steady hand on my shoulder for a second, making sure I wasn't going to fall before dropping his hand.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." My voice cracked and he winced. I stooped and picked up the vial of potion. The cork was still in there tight, and I realized I should've just used my wand to open it. "That was my fault- I should've opened this."

"If you can't prevent it, it's not your fault." Malfoy said in an angry voice, and I knew that he was angry for me, not at me. A rush of gratefulness went through me- Malfoy cradled _my_ head in _his_ lap for Merlin's sake. He didn't just let me twitch around. "Would that potion have helped?" He asked in a forced calm. I shrugged, grimacing.

"Not really. It would make me relax enough to fall asleep for about half and hour. It's ok," I tried to reassure him, seeing how angry he still was, but it didn't work.

"Can I help? Do your parents know?" He asked, sounding slightly desperate, and I stiffened, looking quickly away from him. Like my parents would care- they'd hate me all the more because of it. My jaw locked as anger at my parents surged through me.

"They don't care. If I wasn't perfect they never would've loved me. The curse broke us apart, and the epilepsy will keep us that way." I said, venom permeating my voice. "Thank you for your concern, but I should go." I continued in a hard voice, cutting off anything Malfoy was going to say. I stooped, shoved my things harshly into my bag and fled past a confused looking Malfoy.


	25. Chapter 25

25

Sarah POV

Getting used to handling my seizures, meeting Malfoy, and balancing friends and schoolwork was hard. What made it even worse was Occlumency. Snape had forced out some sort of approval and praise for handling the seizures from Bellatrix, but he'd retaliated immediately by making me practice all the harder. His approach got a bit more cautious when I'd collapsed into convulsions when he first pushed me too far, but, nevertheless, he sneered at me every Wednesday night, and it made me start to hate him again. He was doing me a huge, priceless favor, teaching me Occlumens, but he was such an asshole about it that I couldn't help but hate him. "You aren't focusing enough." He snapped one night after I'd only been able to 'slap' him from behind my protective barriers instead of fully push him back.

"I'm doing my best," I snarled, suddenly unable to stop my anger. There was a moment of silence, and I conjured a chair and sank into it, pressing a shaking hand to my forehead, trying to control myself. Usually I tried to always be polite, kind of like the reversed psychology I'd used on Umbridge last year. It had kept our short conversations at least around civil.

"I've received information that you are pursuing a relationship with Draco." He said suddenly, and I dropped my hand, looking at him in disgust. He was sitting on the edge of his desk with his arms crossed, sneering as ususal.

"You know what I'm trying to do." I said in a hard voice, trying to control myself. This wasn't any of his business.

"I don't think you understand the delicacy needed in this situation." Snape said silkily, and I bolted to my feet with a scowl.

"If you're worried about me covering your arse, don't worry, I am, even if I don't like it." I said furiously. "And every second I'm with Draco I'm wondering if what I tell him could come back to haunt me. Don't you _dare_ try to mediate what I'm doing with Malfoy. I might actually help him instead of scaring him like you are."

"Get out of my office." He said curtly after a moment of us glaring at each other, and I stormed out. Furious with him trying to interfere, I accidentally walked through a ghost and bumped into a few people until I stopped by a torch to calm myself down. I shouldn't have been that upset about Malfoy- I shouldn't have cared. Snape had every right to make sure I wasn't screwing him over. With a sigh, I pulled on the chain of my phoenix feather necklace until I could take the vial in my hand; closing my eyes when the light, relaxed feeling started to steal over me again. After awhile, I stopped leaning against the wall and started out again for the Common Room. Three corridors later, I ran into Harry, who was literally bouncing on his heels as he walked.

"Harry?" I asked, and he gave me a huge grin, coming to a stop. "What's up, did you finally ask out Ginny?" I teased, fully expecting Harry to flush and grumble. Instead he just shook his head and shrugged, still grinning like a fool. "Harry, what is wrong with you?" I asked, wondering if Romilda Vane had gotten a love potion on him, or if he'd been hit by a Cheering Charm.

"Nothing! I'm off to Hagrid's. See ya!" He exclaimed cheerfully, already skipping around the corner before I could register his super cheerful personality change all of a sudden. When I made it to the Common Room, Hermione and Ron were sitting nervously together on a couch, talking in low voices.

"Hey," I greeted them tiredly, flopping onto the couch next to Ron. "I passed Harry on my way here and he was acting _really _weird." I mumbled, and Ron and Hermione jumped.

"You saw him? Where? When?" Hermione demanded.

"Second Floor corridor- he said he was going to Hagrid's. What's wrong with him?" I said, pushing myself up straighter on the couch.

"He took some Felix Felices to get the memory he needed from Slughorn- but it must have backfired somehow, he insisted that he go to Hagrid's!" Hermione nearly wailed. It took me a minute to process what she'd said as I sat up, batting a braid resignedly out of my face as I did so.

"What do we know about Felix Felices? Do you honestly think Slughorn would mess up a potion?" I rubbed my forehead as I tried to brainstorm and catch up with what was happening. I'd been extremely busy this week and I felt like I was constantly running to get things done. Trying to think on top of all that exhaustion was almost impossible.

"I doubt it, Slughorn isn't incompetent. But it makes no sense for Harry to go to Hagrid's!" Hermione snatched up her bag from the floor and started rifling through it for what I presumed was a book.

"That stuff's not dangerous. I think Harry'll be fine." Ron muttered, but glanced out the window just the same. Far off in the distance, becoming more obscure as the sun set even faster was Hagrid's cabin. I slouched back down again, exhausted, and rested my head against Ron's arm, closing my eyes. "You should go to bed," Ron said, shifting his arm to get my attention.

"It's only 8," I mumbled. "And besides, Hermione's about to fall into hysterics," I chuckled quietly when Ron snickered and Hermione huffed. We waited and waited for Harry to come back, looking out the window at Hagrid's cabin. The lights were on, but it looked pretty quiet- and there was no sign of Slughorn. Eventually, I surrendered to my sleepy self and crashed on a couch, insisting that I was only taking a nap. For awhile, I dreamed about walking down the passageways in the library, books hopping down off the shelves and starting a conga line behind me. But, slowly, the library melted away, and I was not myself.

"_Patience, Bellatrix. You need to relax." The deep throaty voice of Rodolphus did not soothe my impatience, nor my irritation._

"_It's taking him much too long to fix it!" I hissed, pacing up and down past my four poster bed. In the shadows, all I could see was Rodolphus' eyes following my every move. _

"_Have you spoken with Narcissa?" He asked, and I snorted._

"_She will not pressure her own son when already she is weak. We rotted in Azkaban for this moment to come, and now a selfish bratty **child **is standing in our way!" I shouted-_

Someone was shaking my shoulder. I bolted upright, eyes snapping open with a quiet gasp. "Easy, Sarah, chill out," Ron yawned, already straightening out and stretching his long arms. The Common Room was even darker than the last time I'd seen it, and it was pretty much deserted. The dream was hanging out in the back of my mind, and I was having a hard time shaking the angry useless feeling that had been surging through Bellatrix.

"Any sign of Harry?" I asked, feeling my pulse slowly dying in my ears. That was the first dream I'd had in awhile, and I didn't like it. It meant I was failing at Occlumency again, something I thought I was strong in.

"I saw him leave Hagrid's, but he hasn't shown up yet, and that was almost half and hour ago. Hermione already went to bed, and I was about to go too." Ron explained, yawning again with more vigor. "It's about three in the morning," he supplied, and I swore under my breath, getting to my feet. Dark spots danced across my vision-I'd gotten up to fast.

"For Merlin's sake, I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow," I mumbled, and stumbled up the staircase and finally fell asleep in my own, comfortable bed. The next morning, Harry clued us in as to why he'd gone to Hagrid's and how he'd gotten the memory. I was in a foul mood- it was the day after affect from Occlumency lessons. On top of that, I was exhausted with my work load, keeping all my secrets and trying to persuade Draco not to kill Dumbledore at the end of the year or let in the Death Eaters. I was having an effect on him for sure, but on the days we didn't meet I knew he was in the Room working to mend the Cabinet. At lunch I barely ate, listening to Hermione try to soothe Ron's irritation about not passing his Apparition Test.

"Katie!" Hermione suddenly greeted someone with surprise but good cheer, and I looked up from my blank plate. Katie Bell had been walking past, her friend from the beginning of the year, Leanne, next to her. Katie looked as good as new, and it was a relief to see that she was unharmed. As Harry asked her if she remembered who gave her the necklace, I glanced surreptitiously at Malfoy. He'd obviously seen Katie; he was keeping his head low over his plate. I'd noticed that over the past couple days he'd been severely stressed and paler than usual, almost as white as me, with bags almost as large. I dropped my gaze when he glanced upward and our eyes met for a second. Letting my thick braid swing over my shoulder, I leaned over and asked Hermione a question about a passage in her book, _The Spellcaster's Guide to Complex Charms. _Unfortunately, I couldn't keep my attention away from Harry for long. With Katie's return he was thinking about Malfoy again, and he kept shooting me what were supposed to be 'covert' looks, wondering if he could breach the topic again.

"Hey, Sarah? Can I have a word?" He asked as soon as Hermione retreated behind her book, and I sighed, switching places with Ron so that we could talk. "I just wanted to ask if you could tell me anything new. It's been a long time, and I thought that maybe something had happened." Harry prattled off pathetically when I closed my eyes for a second, trying to keep my temper.

"Harry, if I could, you'd be the first to know. You should focus on the upcoming Quidditch match, not your hunch about Malfoy." I tried to say it kindly, but it sounded annoyed even to me.

"Ron said you were dreaming yesterday." Harry blurted out, and my mouth dropped open for a second in shock. I thought Ron hadn't even noticed!

"Oh, really?" I asked, turning to give Ron my best death glare. He didn't turn around to acknowledge it, but his shoulders hunched a little and he started talking more animatedly to Hermione.

"Sarah, I'm just curious, just worried is all. You haven't had a dream in a long time." Harry said as I turned back around. He really did look worried, and that eased my displaced anger. "Did something happen at Occlumency yesterday?" He hit the nail right on the head and I winced.

"Things aren't going as well as I'd like and as well as what Snape demands." I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "I know exactly how you felt last year." I said with a weak chuckle, but Harry didn't laugh.

"He's not pushing you too far again, is he?" He asked suspiciously, glancing at the staff table where Snape was sitting. Harry had been practically incensed when I hadn't come back from Occlumency and had only appeared at lunch the next day. Madam Pompfrey had insisted on keeping me for 'observation', making me late. It gave him another reason to hate Snape.

"Nope. I'm just really tired lately. The homework's a drag." I injected cheerfulness into my voice, getting up off the bench and offering Harry a hand, pulling him to his feet. "I've really got to stop moping. Want to go to the library and work on that paper for Slughorn? I heard Ginny's been spending a lot of time in there studying for O.W.L.S.'" I said very quietly, and Harry flushed, making me laugh. I quickly snatched my bag and we left, leaving Hermione and Ron still talking to one another. It was only a matter of time before they finally started seeing each other seriously, I just knew it.

"Do you think Ron would be mad if I asked Ginny out?" Harry asked quietly as we walked towards the library. I mulled it over as we started up the Marble Staircase. On one hand, I knew Ron hated every guy that Ginny dated, it was just a 'big brother' thing. But Harry had also been Ron's best friend since forever.

"I don't see why not. I think it'd gross him out more than anything. He knows both of you really well- the two of you together would freak him out." I chuckled, picturing the look on Ron's face.

"You sure?" Harry asked, sounding like an insecure two year old and I nearly burst out laughing. For one so brave in the face of danger, girls really did scare Harry.

"Have you ever doubted me?" I asked with mock drama, and I teased him and gave him a bit more advice on our way to the library. Once we were there, Harry got no work done, glancing up every minute or so to look at Ginny. I went and returned a book to the shelves and we greeted each other cheerfully; I saw Harry duck fast out of the corner of my eye, almost making my snigger. His head was almost in his lap he'd ducked so fast. He obviously wasn't ready to talk to her yet. "You ok over here?" I snickered as I sat back down, but Harry didn't have the reaction I expected. He was packing up his things hastily, glancing at the Marauder's Map.

"Fine. I've got to go, Quidditch stuff," Harry mumbled, tapping the map and sweeping it into his bag. "See you later?" He asked, and took off. I watched him go with a bad feeling in my stomach. Harry's current infatuation was here in the library, so he could have seen only one other thing on the map that would engross him that fast.

Draco Malfoy.


	26. Chapter 26

26

Sarah POV

Without thinking twice, I shrunk my bag, shoved it in my pocket, and took off after Harry. I had to keep him from doing something stupid. By the time I made it into the corridor, Harry's robes where just whipping around the corner. Even though I was tired, I broke into a light jog, working to catch up to Harry without being seen. It wasn't fair that he had an Invisibility Cloak and a Map of Hogwarts, it made him impossible to track when he used both at once. Harry stopped once or twice to peek at the map, but then kept going, taking us to the fourth floor staircase when he disappeared and I swore. He'd put on his Cloak. For a second, I just stared down the hallway, fuming, before I realized that I could track him another way. The dark presence in him, his scar, was moving up the staircase, and a dark pinprick I'd associated with a Death Eater was on the floor above. Snape probably had a class, so it had to be Malfoy. Jerking to life, I slowly started after Harry, having to stop several times to focus on where he was going and keeping hidden at the same time. After mounting the stairs and crouching behind a decorative urn, I closed my eyes, tracking him by feeling alone. I was getting to a point where it would be better to track down Malfoy- the two dark presences had combined, they were too close together. But if I just got up, Harry would know I'd been following him. Waiting impatiently, I drew my wand, fingertips drumming on the handle. Ignoring my burning and aching left wrist, I moved farther down the hallway, listening, when-

_BANG._

From farther down the corridor, inside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, the sounds of a duel started. I broke into a run, sprinting down the corridor and throwing open the door to the bathroom. Almost immediately a chunk of marble nearly hit me in the face. Malfoy looked rough- he was in his normal uniform for once, and his shirt was untucked, sleeves rolled hurriedly to his elbows. His tie hung loose, and it was unnerving to see him so unkempt. He and Harry were dueling in broad bloody daylight, and Moaning Myrtle was screaming. At once, I was furious. I'd told Harry to let it go, but he just couldn't help himself, could he? _"PROTEGO!"_ Barely realizing that I'd casted the shield charm that now separated the two, I stalked out of the doorway, feeling my eyes flash dangerously at the pair of them. "What's going on here?" The dark, angry voice was back from the beginning of the year, making Malfoy's jaw drop and Harry look worried inbetween looking down at the floor, unable to meet my gaze. "You tracked him down. _Again._" The voice accused, and my irritation reached its peak as Myrtle kept screaming. "_SHUT IT." _I snarled in almost a guttural tone, and she whimpered and dove into her toilet, leaving us in ringing silence.

"Sarah, are you ok?" Harry asked in a very small voice, and I laughed mirthlessly, the sound full of bitter anger. I raised my wand right at his face; I was going to hex him and teach him a lesson, no one ever disobeyed me without paying the price. Harry's eyes widened, but he didn't move to raise his wand. For a moment, I only glared back at his bright green orbs before it clicked. I was losing my touch- Bellatrix's bottomless anger had swallowed me up again. Instantly, my posture relaxed and my jaw unclenched.

"Shit," I mumbled, and lowered my wand, squeezing my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose in defeat. This hadn't happened to me since summer, and I knew it wouldn't pass without consequences. "Dammit, Harry, why didn't you just drop it like I told you to?" I groaned, and dropped the Shield Charm.

"You should see Madam Pompfrey," Harry said quietly, sounding ashamed and I snorted, opening my eyes.

"She can't do anything and you know it. You should go." I said, my tone a clear dismissal. I was still mad at Harry for not trusting me after what I'd gone through to tell him as much of the truth as I could, but not enough to hex him like I'd been close to doing. I just needed time to calm down. Harry hesitated, clearly wondering about leaving me alone with Malfoy, but then he shoved his wand in his pocket and left, head bowed.

"You've got him well trained, I see." Malfoy mocked. I turned slowly and we glared at each other. It was like looking in a mirror- we were pale, exhausted and angry. I didn't know why he was so angry at me, I'd just chose him over Harry, something I thought I'd never do.

"Get out of it, I just saved your arse from my best friend." I snapped, and waved my wand, restoring the broken mirrors and sinks. There was a moment of silence.

"Why'd you do it?" Malfoy asked, sounding weary, but his tone was still aggressive. "Do you pity me or something? Didn't think I could take him?"

"For Merlin's sake, shut up before I hex you. I did it because I told him to leave you alone and he didn't do it. He's being an idiot, and you're being a prat. I know you've had a lot on your mind and for some reason you've had a rough week, but why the hell did you think you could duel in broad daylight?" I rebuked him in a hard voice, and he looked at me and then down. "It's being tricky then?" I added quietly after a second, reigning in my temper. I could see now that his eyes were rimmed red- he'd been crying. Suddenly, my dream from last night made perfect sense. He was under more stress than ever before.

"They're getting impatient," Malfoy said very quietly. "If I don't finish before the end of the year-" He didn't finish his sentence, his voice getting tight and strained. "But it's not _working_, and there's no other way to do it-" He stopped abruptly, his voice cracking. I hesitated for a second before walking over and giving him a hug. It was the only thing I could think of that would help him, at least in the present. Whenever I'd been super stressed and basically crying, I'd always wanted something to hold on to. Seconds later, Malfoy hugged back, _hard,_ letting me know that he needed it. Burying his face in my braid and shoulder, his back trembled as he clearly tried not to cry. If he was acting, if this was all a ruse, I deserved to be fooled. There was no way that this emotion was anything but real.

"It'll work out," I whispered into his collarbone, trying to focus on him and not my own feelings, pain and exhaustion. I'd never willingly been this close to him before, and my left wrist was burning in terrible pain.

"No it won't." Malfoy's broken voice came from my shoulder, contradicting me in a 'little kid' way.

"Let me help you," I pleaded softly as he pulled back but didn't completely break our embrace. "Stop torturing yourself." I added as his angst filled eyes looked away, looking like the color of mercury.

"I can't. I know it's selfish to say that to you, but there's no protecting my family, not from him. You've tried so hard, but it's hopeless." His voice got stronger and more detatched as he spoke, and he let go. For a moment, I looked at him, horrified, as he glared at the floor. I couldn't let him give up and throw away his life- not after all this time. I took my hand off his shoulder and without hesitating slapped him across the face. He gasped in shock, cupping his face, looking sullen and hurt- just like a child.

"You coward." My voice was sharp and unforgiving. If I had learned anything about Malfoy it was that he _was_ a child- he acted all independent, but he needed to be directed and helped along with everything. I grabbed his hands in mine, squeezing them and scowling right into his face so he couldn't look away. "You'd rather keep your pride than make things right? Draco, _you can't give up._ I know you're stronger than this." Draco swallowed hard but kept staring back at me- I had his attention. "Even if you want it to look like an abduction, the Order will protect you, and your family. Promise me that you'll stop this." I begged softly. Our eyes locked and we stared at each other for about a minute.

"I don't need the protection, but I won't go through with it." Draco said after taking a deep breath, averting his gaze.

"Thank you," I said quietly, and let him go. "I'll see you later, then." I continued, moving my left arm behind me, my general signal that I _had_ to leave before I had a seizure. Draco understood instantly, taking a step back and moving his left arm behind him too. "Come find me if you need me." I ordered, then slipped out when he broke a tiny smile.

Draco POV

Once she'd left, I moved back to the sink, leaning over it with a low groan. Over the past couple days, I'd felt more and more trapped. Seeing Sarah with Potter only made it worse. I was jealous of their friendship- she had friends, people she could trust. That was something I'd never had before, and now that Sarah, someone who was putting it all on the line was trying with _me, _her enemy, I wanted it more than anything. It hurt more every time she helped me, because I knew I'd still have to betray her in the end. I wanted to pretend that I could keep the promise I just made Sarah, that at the end of the year I'd leave under Order protection and never be heard of again. It was my only avarice, wanting her friendship and safety. But if I thought about it, Sarah wasn't even a safe person. The way she'd acted just now, to her best friend, was shocking. She'd sounded so dark, so angry; it hurt just to listen to her. Whenever I thought about how deep her problems were, mine seemed nominal. Her allusion of cheerfulness, free of conflict, had shattered in my head- she was just as messed up as I was, and she didn't have a choice. Even worse; most of the time she picked up her mood and her problems like they were nothing at all and took them in stride. Raising my head, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and self-hatred instantly rose up to meet it. Sarah was right, I was a coward. I had options, options she was offering me at her own risk, and she had none. I had lied right to her face; and I couldn't deny it any longer, I loved her like a sister. There was something about her actions that made her feel like I'd known her forever. It didn't seem right to think of her as a romantic interest- I felt more like her older brother. I felt _needed._

Now I'd have to betray her.

Sarah POV

I'd expected Harry to be waiting right outside the door, but he wasn't there. Chagrined for how I'd treated him and how I'd let Bellatrix mess with me again, I set out for Gryffindor tower. I owed Harry an apology. At the Marble Staircase, I hesitated. I wanted to tell Dumbledore immediately what had just happened, but I wanted to apologize to Harry. After a moment of deliberation, I set off for Dumbledore's office. I thought I'd be skipping, finally happy that I'd done what he'd asked. But I'd seen such sorrow and conflict in Draco- it was unnerving. It didn't help that I was worried about my state of mind- after all of my work, everything was falling apart. Instead of walking up Dumbledore's moving stairs, I let them take me to the top, too tired to get there faster. After I'd knocked and he bade me enter, I went in. Dumbledore had his back turned to me, reaching up to get a book off a shelf. "Hello, sir," I sounded tired, even to myself as I came further in and sat down. He turned around and quickly came over to his desk, setting the unmarked book to his left.

"What can I do for you, Sarah?" He asked carefully, sitting down. He looked at me cautiously, as if he was waiting for me to explode.

"He's agreed not to do it. However, Draco says that he doesn't need the Order's protection." I said almost sadly, and Dumbledore looked at me in surprise. The more I thought about it, the worse the situation seemed. I'd convinced Draco to throw away everything he'd ever known; going against everything he'd been taught. I suddenly felt terrible for making him do it.

"You're quite sure?" Dumbledore asked slowly. This changed everything he'd planned on.

"He promised me, Professor. I think he'll keep his word." I said.

"And you trust him?" Dumbledore questioned, and I felt a spark of irritation.

"There have been moments where he couldn't have been acting if he wanted to. I believe we've finally learned to trust one another."

"It looks as if it's cost you. Well done, Sarah. I never expected that anyone could do what you've accomplished. I suggest you rest now." He said, seeing right through my façade of sanity. He had probably already figured out what was wrong with me, which was more than I could say. I'd developed affection for Draco; he was like a sleeker and a more naïve version of Ron- easily offended but surprisingly loyal. He was like the sibling I'd never had, and it was a comfort to know that he had a more realistic idea of what I was going through compared to my friends. Our relationship was balancing on the tip of a knife- and it all depended on our trust for each other. Usually, I'd never let myself get into a situation like that- but things were different now. I was different. I had a feeling I wouldn't get back to normal for a long time.


	27. Chapter 27

27

Sarah POV

Exhausted, I left Dumbledore's office and went to the Common Room. As soon as I walked in, Harry was there, waiting anxiously by the portrait hole. "Sarah, I'm so sorry, it was my fault-"

"Harry, don't be an idiot, it's _my _fault. I shouldn't have lost myself that easy." I said loud enough to keep him from talking over me. "It's ok." I said seriously, putting my hands on his shoulders. Harry grinned and gave me a hug.

"Thank, Merlin, ok, you're ok? You're fine?" He asked, begging for clarification as he pulled away, looking at me closely.

"I'm just really tired, I think I'll get some rest," I told him, and, nodding vigorously, he pushed me towards the girls' staircase. I did exactly as Professor Dumbledore told me; I went straight to bed. The rest was exactly what I'd needed, and when I got up the next day, I felt like my old self again. After spending an extra moment of solitude to focus and make sure my mind was fortified, I went down to the Common Room. Hermione was sitting on a couch giggling to herself, and Ron was beside her, looking slightly sickened. Both had their eyes glued to something I couldn't see across the room.

"Hey, guys, what's-" I started, walking over to them, but when I saw what they were looking at, my mouth dropped open. Harry and Ginny were sitting across the room, snogging. "Took him long enough," I said after I'd jerked out of it, chuckling as I plopped down next to Ron. When Harry and Ginny were finally done, we all went down to breakfast together. As we walked in, I automatically looked to the Slytherin table. Draco looked up when he heard Hermione laughing at Ron's expression, and his eyes found mine. Smiling, I gave him a tiny, inconspicuous wave before following my friends to the table. I could feel his eyes on me for awhile afterward.

As the year wore down, I felt better and better. I met with Draco often, even if it hurt. We never met on Wednesday or Thursday because of my Occlumency, but I saw him at least twice a week. I was kind of proud of myself- I was having such a beneficial affect on Draco. He wasn't as sickly looking anymore, and he laughed more. When he was with me, it was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He was still arrogant and naïve, but his occasional downright stupidity was _hilarious. _He never realized how sheltered he was until after he'd spoken and then he'd sulk like a child, only making me laugh harder. But as we got closer and closer to the end of the year, I could tell he started to get nervous. All my work started to reverse, and we started drifting apart. Dumbledore already had a word with Draco about the protection measures, but it didn't seem to do Draco much good. When we did meet, I didn't bring up his mission at all, but instead focused his attention on school, or books, _something._

One night in early June, Harry came barging into the Common Room and over to us, looking excited. He said he was going with Dumbledore to find a Horcrux. In a rush, he left us the Marauders Map and his Felix Felices before he was gone again. Hermione and I, anxious for his safety, pretended to do homework. In reality, we fretted continuously, drumming wands and quills on the table in an effort to calm down. Ron, on the other hand, was quiet, looking impressed. He had put his wandtip on the map and was spinning the paper underneath it in tight circles, evidently bored. "I wish someone else went with them." Hermione said finally, standing up and starting to pace between the coffee table (which I was leaning against) and the couch (where Ron was sprawled out). Ron snorted, still spinning the map.

"Who'd go with them, 'Mione?" He asked, his head starting to go in circles as he followed the map's progress. He slowly started to go cross eyed as Hermione paced faster.

"I don't know, Lupin or _someone!_ Dumbledore's a great wizard, but I'm still worried!" Hermione insisted. Leaning against the coffee table, I internally agreed with Hermione. Dumbledore was the most powerful wizard alive, and Harry was a very good wizard, but the two of them alone still made me apprehensive.

"The Horcruxes are supposed to be a secret, Hermione. But the Order's here tonight, don't worry." I reminded her, catching her pantleg as she paced passed me and tugged her towards the couch. She sank down onto it with a sigh, drumming her wand against her leg. Ron lost control of the map and it hit me in the back of the head and slid to my left onto the floor.

Ron apologized hastily as I picked it up from where it'd fallen. "Here, put it-" As I was telling Ron to put it away, I got a huge shock that made me gasp. The pain of it zinged from the mark on my wrist and all through my body, making me stiffen. The map slipped from my fingers and onto the floor as I lost my grip, eyes widening as it happened again. I went to get up, but it was like the flashes of pain had paralyzed me; I couldn't move.

"Sarah?" Hermione slid off the couch and next to me, inbetween the coffee table and the couch. She looked concerned, but her, Ron and Harry were used to my seizures by now. But this…this was different. My arm, outstretched to give the map to Ron fell to the carpet with a thud as a burst of dark magic entered the castle. The mark burned white hot- she was here. They all were.

"The Order," I croaked, trying to shake off my frozen state without much luck. "Get the-" Cutting off my warning, Bellatrix suddenly attacked my mind with all she had and triggered a fit. The last thing I heard was Hermione and Ron's yelps of surprise before I was desperately trying to hold her back as the burning and pain crept higher and higher. _How did they get in?_ I thought wildly as I struck out against Bellatrix- but it was weak. Sensing weakness, Bellatrix lashed back like a bullwhip, making my whimpers turn to groans. _It had to have been Draco._ My mind figured out for me as I started to slip. _No, it couldn't have been. _I insisted back, trying to summon inner strength that didn't exist. As the Death Eaters moved closer, I lost it completely, and Bellatrix blasted into my head, wreaking havoc. We fought hard for what seemed like ages until she hurt me so hard, I was stunned. _**Now the fun begins, little girl.**_ Her thoughts, clear as day, echoed in my head as she mentally built a prison around me in my own head. Lying in the blackness, I continued to resist even after I felt myself stand up and my eyes open. Hermione was kneeling on the floor where I'd been thrashing, sitting stock still, eyes wide. The Common Room was silent, Ron missing. Bellatrix, now taking full control, had me draw my wand and leave without a word. As she walked me down the corridor, going Merlin knows where, I got up, stinging and sore from the seizure, my continued fight, and the pain of the Death Eaters as I got closer and closer to them. Experimentally, I touched the wall of the little prison she'd built around me, eerily similar to the block in my head around the information Dumbledore had told me, as well as everything about Draco I so yearned to tell. When nothing happened, I punched it hard. Seconds later, a punch came back and sent me staggering. Trapped, I felt fear rise in me as I tried urgently to think, tried to ignore the scorching pain building in my body. How was I going to fight her off?

"_Sarah?!"_ I heard Ron yell, sounding scared, from the top of the corridor I was currently walking jerkily down. As I fought her with slowly increasing strength, I started to walk almost like a robot. I tried to open my mouth to warn Ron, to tell him what was wrong, but Bellatrix wasn't having any of that. I turned the corner and she picked up her pace, heading for the Astronomy Tower. "This way!" Ron yelled from a long way's behind me, and I heard lots of footsteps following me. Turning a corner, I arrived at the dead end corridor that turned into a staircase, going up. Seconds later, a hand curled around my upper arm. From out of the shadows stepped Bellatrix, smiling a truly evil smile. Inside, I shuddered and closed my eyes, trying not to see her face, but it was as if I was in a horrible nightmare I couldn't wake up from; closing my eyes wouldn't save me.

"My little _prize,_" she hissed, and more Death Eaters solidified next to her, looking either bemused, eager or bored.

"She doesn't look like much." One said disdainfully, then raised his hands defensively as Bellatrix turned on him. Before she could do anything, a curse rocketed around the corner and hit him, blasting him off his feet. The Death Eaters launched into action as Order members dashed around the corner to attack them.

"Oh no you don't," Bellatrix almost cooed, as I twitched, almost going into the fight, to _my _side. She dragged me into an alcove in the hallway then put her free hand on my forehead, grabbing my head in her bony fingers. My whole body jolted in her grip as she tried to break into the protected vault in my head, full of information from Dumbledore. "An _Unbreakable Vow?"_ She snarled, letting go and grabbing my chin. Reflected in her eyes, I saw that my own eyes were black as coal, my whole face slack and expressionless but strangely stiff. "That won't stop me," She hissed in my ear, pulling me back out into the fight. _**Fight them.**_ She ordered, sounding gleeful already, and my body turned to face my friends, wand arm rising. _No!_ I fought her hard and it jerked to a stop, trembling in midair.

"There, over there!" I heard Ron yell. With that sound, I beat against the walls of the prison with my fists. Winning small ground against Bellatrix, my head turned to follow the sound. Ron was crouched under a painting with Lupin, pointing at me from across the fight. Both of them were flushed with the heat of battle, already beaten up a little, looking at me, clearly frightened.

"_Avada Kedavra!"_ Bellatrix roared over my head, taking my shoulder in a vice like grip and pulling me backwards against her, aiming for the two of them. Lupin and Ron scattered, and, thank Merlin; the spell scorched the ground where they'd been only seconds before. "Come with me," She growled, dragging me among the Death Eaters, away from the Order and towards the staircase. My heels dug uselessly into the ground a few times, but any control I'd won back for myself Bellatrix quickly snatched back. Seeing Bellatrix move, the other Death Eaters started to follow us, converging on the stairs. The Order pushed forward, but as the last Death Eater passed over the first stair, Bellatrix cast a spell in front of us, and a grey, see-through wall went up right in front of my face. As Death Eaters in front of us started up the stairs, Lupin charged at the wall and when he was right in front of me, looking right at me in determination, he was blasted off his feet and down the hallway. "We have a meeting to attend," She cackled, as members of the Order converged around the wall, glaring at Bellatrix fiercely or looking at me in shock. "Say goodbye to your little friends!" She laughed gleefully, taking my arm again.

"You sick, evil woman!" Tonks shouted, incensed, on the other side of the barrier, raising her wand as Bellatrix pulled me up a step. The spell she cast was absorbed into the wall; nothing happened.

"Stop resisting," She snarled at me when trying to force me up the steps did nothing. Tonks' act had woken me up a bit. Bound and determined to stop this now, I launched a full out attack against her, beating on the walls of my little prison, kicking, punching. Bellatrix's face tightened and she sagged against the wall, but then she started laughing, a wild, crazy sound. She straightened again, raising her wand. "It's time I taught you obedience." She whispered, eyes crazed. Kicking harder and with more repetitions, I stumbled back onto the staircase wall, feeling her power on me flicker. I started getting flashes of seeing normally, as if I was free. Bellatrix simply raised a hand and smashed it across my temple in real life, making me slide down the wall with a choking noise, eyes fluttering closed.

"Leave her _alone!"_ Ron bellowed on the other side, and Neville tried to breach the wall, flying off down the hallway as Lupin had done. Bellatrix half laughed, half panted as she kept me down while baiting the Order at the same time. Watching the faces of my friends, she attacked me in my own head, making me inhale sharply and my body freeze. The flickering died, and in my head, she hurt me into the stunned state again, crumpling in shock and with mind-numbing pain. Full out cackling with laughter now, Bellatrix grabbed my arm and pulled me up the steps, my friends' anguished faces getting smaller and smaller until they were gone.


	28. Chapter 28

28

Sarah POV

"It's about time you got here, Bellatrix." Barked Fenrir Greyback as Bellatrix hauled me up the last stair. We were surrounded by Death Eaters on all sides, their dark cloaks blocking out all light. The pain skyrocketed, and I slumped in the prison, gasping. My whole face tightened and I felt my temperature plummet sharply. The coldness emanating from me didn't bother the Death Eaters at all, in fact, they crowded closer, looking curious and downright smug. They all must have known who I was.

"I was a little busy," Bellatrix said gleefully, pulling me forward. As the Death Eaters parted, starting to laugh, Dumbledore came into view, and worse, _Draco._ Dumbledore was slumping gradually down the battlement, pale. He looked terribly ill- something was wrong. I immediately looked all around for Harry. He was nowhere in sight, and I prayed that he was safe. Dumbledore saw me and got whiter, if possible, looking at me in shock. Draco was standing in front of him, looking like he was going to be sick. His hair was in a disarray, hands trembling. He lowered his wand, looking at me in fright and horror. _Traitor! _I screamed at him in my head, trying to get up. Trembling, I collapsed back down, fighting back a fit. There were _so_ many Death Eaters- "Well done, Draco!" Bellatrix continued, leaving me and striding over to him, kissing his cheek, leering at Dumbledore. "What are you waiting for? _Do it!" _She hissed when Draco didn't look away from my blank face, looking tortured. He stared deep into my now coal black eyes, searching for a spark of myself. His eyes widened further when he realized that he wasn't going to get one, that she'd caught and possessed me completely.

"He's weak, just like his father," A Death Eater taunted, and Draco turned, a snarl growing on his face from the insult. I knew that cut him deep- in our meetings this year, he'd mentioned his father very little but with the utmost respect. Both of us had made it clear that we shouldn't talk about our parents.

"We're wasting time. Just do it, Bellatrix, Merlin knows the boy can't." The same Death Eater said from the back, sounding bored. As he spoke, Dumbledore's eyes flicked from Draco to me, looking not at all surprised that he'd betrayed me.

"No! The Dark Lord wants Draco to do it," another ordered, starting an argument. While they bickered, I only had eyes for Dumbledore, who was watching me with a pained expression. His presence did nothing for me; there were too many Death Eaters around. He was probably wondering if I'd gone over willingly, and if I'd ever resurface.

"Enough! _She'll_ do it for me." Bellatrix said suddenly, putting an arm around my stiff shoulders. The Death Eaters started to hoot with glee as I staggered to my feet in my head. _No, I can't. I WON'T. _I swore as Bellatrix removed her arm and said, casually, "_**Kill him. Now.**_" Fighting as hard as I could, my body started to take its eerie, jerky steps forward. Bellatrix pulled Draco out of the way as I passed him, taking his spot. I ground to a halt, and then, to my horror, my wand arm started to rise. Half blind with pain, I threw myself at the walls of the prison, beating on it with my fists. Bellatrix gasped behind me, then snarled something unintelligible under her breath. Dumbledore slipped a little lower as my arm froze halfway up, trembling. Seeing him like that gave me strength, I wouldn't let Bellatrix break me, not now, not ever. I heard Bellatrix stumble as I started to claw, ripping away the wall.

"What the-" A Death Eater shouted as I tore free, whirling on the spot and raising my wand fully to level it right at Bellatrix's face.

"_Proteg-" _Before I could finish my spell that would separate Dumbledore and I from them, Bellatrix, as strong as ever, tackled me in my own head, making me groan, folding over myself- I wouldn't let her get me again- I fell to my knees, fighting what I knew was a losing battle. Bellatrix roared something unintelligible in real life, beating me down in my head, making me cry out. Moments later, she had me again; the wall resealed.

"She's stronger than she looks, Yaxely." Bellatrix panted through a feral smile as she made me stand up rigid again then come beside her. "But if I can't make her do it, than _I _will." She strode forward, wand raising-

"No." Snape's curt voice came from behind the Death Eaters, and they parted like the Red Sea. He strode forward, and in the prison, I bowed my head to the floor, wishing that I didn't have to see this. I'd known it was coming since the beginning of the year, but I couldn't accept it- "_Avada Kedavra." _He barked, and Dumbledore, blasted off his feet by the green light, fell off the Astronomy Tower.

"_YEESSSSS!" _Bellatrix screamed in victory as Snape grabbed Draco by the collar, who still hadn't taken his eyes off me, and tugged him after the Death Eaters as they started to exit the tower. Bellatrix went to the railing and cast the Dark Mark, crippling me further. In my head, I was weeping, curling up on myself from pain and grief. If I'd been stronger, I could have told my friends, told others. I could've saved Dumbledore. This was my fault, all my fault. Self hate exploded in my head. Laughing, she linked arms with me and skipped us down the steps, blasting curses everywhere. As we remerged into the fight, I tried to get a hold of myself. This was my last chance to escape or I really would be hers forever. As Bellatrix darted and ducked, pulling me through the fight, I used the wall in my head to support myself and looked around the little prison. It was disconcerting, being able to see everything in front of me and the tiny little cell around me at the same time. There had to be a weakness in my cell somewhere, there had to be a moment where I could throw her off for good.

"Don't let them get away, they have Sarah!" I heard the voice of Sirius Black bellow from somewhere, and Bellatrix's face dropped to a snarl shooting curses behind us at him as she hustled me along, into the Death Eater ranks. Moving faster now, the Death Eaters pelted down the grounds, towards Hagrid's cabin and the Forbidden Forest to escape and Apparate away. Overcome by pain and grief, I barely fought her anymore- it was all too much. There was no way out. The Order couldn't help me now- no one could.

"Now, let's have some fun, little girl!" Bellatrix snarled, and spun me from her arm, throwing me to the ground. As I rolled, she relinquished her grip on me, Summoning my wand at the same time. Shuddering and gasping, I rolled to a stop, instantly trying to get up. "_Crucio!" _She spat, and then I was screaming, I didn't know where I was or why this was happening; I was thrashing in agony- "That was just a taster!" Bellatrix spat triumphantly, kicking me in the ribs so that I was on my back, lifting her curse. Blinking away tears and sweat, I looked at the starry sky, marred by the Dark Mark. And then she cursed me again. And again. And again. When she paused, raising her wand and looking thoughtful, I heard Harry yell out into the night.

"_SNAPE! _HE TRUSTED YOU!" He bellowed angrily, and I heard his feet pounding over the turf towards us.

"Go to your Aunt," I barely heard Snape mutter to someone. When I turned my head, I saw him striding out to meet Harry, his long robes billowing behind him as he raised his wand. Shuddering and panting, I tried to think. If he hurt him-

"Ah, Draco! It's time you learned how this works." Bellatrix said briskly as Draco appeared above me, his eyes boring into mine, growing when he realized I was myself again. Anger sparked in me as he looked at me helplessly, as if he hadn't betrayed me without a second thought. I glared at him, not breaking eye contact as Bellatrix's hand closed around my left wrist, and ripped my robe sleeve almost all the way off, then ripped the sleeve of my shirt. I choked, eyes squeezing shut. Her eyes looking at the mark was surely burning off my skin, it _hurt-_ "It's very simple, really. Watch." Bellatrix said cheerfully. Seconds later, a scream ripped through my throat. Whatever she was doing, it was worse than the Cruciatus Curse. I couldn't breathe, or think; my lungs must have been exploding- "Now that we've moved it up, it has to be enlarged so that the snakes fit." Bellatrix was saying through the pounding of my head, and then the pain started again. Its intensity made me scream and writhe and jerk. My back arched as the searing icy pain pulsed through my body, again and again; I couldn't take it, I'd have to die before it would end, there was no way I could survive this. "There. Now, for the final touch." Bellatrix said smugly, and I waited for the pain to come, for her to make me a Death Eater. It never came.

"Aunt, I can't let you do this." Draco's voice cut through the silence like a knife. It was hard, cold, uncaring, almost scornful. "This girl is not worth it."

"This girl is very much worth it, Draco." Bellatrix said in the deep, dark, angry voice that had plagued me all year.

"She's a Mudblood." Draco spat back, and there was silence. In the background, I could hear Snape bellowing something about not being called a coward.

"No. _NO!" _Bellatrix screamed. This was my final play against her, I knew it. I'd fooled her already, and it'd cost her dearly. What this would cost her, I had no idea, but I knew I wouldn't survive. "You _WRETCH!" _She screeched, and then something was cutting my face, my arm, leg, back, stomach, everywhere. Panting furiously, almost sobbing, she slashed at me again and again. It stopped, and I heard her heaving for breath. "_Avada-" _I heard her start, when-

"Bellatrix! We have to leave! Now!" Snape barked, interrupting her. I heard a mild struggle, she must have been trying very hard to kill me. Bellatrix kicked me one last time, shrieking incoherently, before the sound of her died away, pulled away by Snape. Mind fuzzy, I barely registered someone tucking something into my pocket. It crinkled, like paper.

"I'm sorry," a familiar voice breathed, sounding anguished, and a cold hand lightly took the side of my face, a thumb brushing over part of my lip and my jaw before it vanished for good. For awhile, I just lay there. I could feel my own blood, warm, sticky and wet all over my body, slowly saturating my hair, which was halfway out of its braid. From somewhere far off, I could hear panting, and what sounded like struggling.

"_Sarah?"_ Harry suddenly called out, almost begging for a response. When I only stirred slightly and then stopped moving, he called out again, sounding like he was struggling with more intensity, fright permeating his voice. Time passed… _ Sarah!" _ Harry was shouting, and I heard him scrabbling up off the ground as if he was suddenly free. He fell on his knees beside me, and a hand frantically brushed bloody strands of my hair out of my face. "Sarah, can you hear me? Merlin, _Hagrid!"_ He called him for help, sounding desperate. His presence made my shame and grief worse- if only I hadn't been so weak, I could have warned him, warned everyone. If I'd been able to keep her out I could've fought for the Order.

"H-Harry," I choked out, my eyes fluttering, then opening. Everything was misty, I could barely see the stars and the Dark Mark in the sky. Harry's face was leaning over me, looking panicked. I blinked blood out of my eyes as he quickly looked in a different direction as thundering footsteps started over, then back to me. Seeing the helpless and scared look on his face almost hurt more than I did. "H-h-arry-y-" I whispered, feeling tears prick at my eyes and burn harshly in the cuts on my face. It was all my fault.

"Here, I got'er." Hagrid rumbled, and I moaned in pain when gentle, huge hands scooped me up.

"Careful, Hagrid," Harry cautioned as I cried out again when my sore body moved with his. The cuts on my back, legs and shoulders rubbed against the remains of my clothes and his giant arms, getting blood on his front.

"Harry, D-Dumbledore-" I started, but couldn't continue as grief pushed hard at my raw wounds, physical and mental.

"I know, Sarah." Harry said quietly. Grieved, I let Hagrid support me for a long time as I tried to wake up, to hold on. It would be so easy just to slip away and not have to feel my screaming body and my own self-hatred. Despite my best efforts, I knew I blacked out for awhile because when I came back to awareness, we had entered the school. We ground to a halt in what sounded like the courtyard. I could hear many people crying or sobbing-we must have been in front of Dumbledore's body. Slowly, Hagrid's shoulders started to shake, and huge tear drops fell on my face and body, washing away blood. As each fell, the salt stung in my wounds.

"I'll take her," said a bitterly sad voice I didn't really recognize, and I stirred, then groaned when I was transferred to a different pair of arms, ones that were human sized. I could hear Hagrid bawling behind us as the person carrying me started out for the Hospital Wing with a quick, loping gait. I barely remember the trip there, only Madam Pompfrey stifling sobs in a handkerchief as she worked, putting some kind of cream on the cuts all over my body from Bellatrix. When her fingers turned over my left arm, she wailed, dropped it, and ran away. Too tired to understand, I lay there for Merlin knows how long, fighting to stay conscious. After awhile, I forced my eyes open and tried to sit up, instantly gasping as pain flooded my joints.

"Easy, Sarah, easy," the voice spoke again, but I ignored it and forced myself to what was technically a sitting position with trembling arms, my shredded strips of my clothes sliding down to my shoulders. Looking up, bits of hair hanging in my eyes, I realized it was Sirius Black who was next to me. His whole body was tense, and a muscle was jumping in his jaw. His eyes held a sadness I'd never seen before. "Sarah," he rebuked quietly, but I still didn't listen, trying to push myself up straighter. In my pocket, something crinkled, but I ignored it. Instead, I slowly pushed away the ripped and torn sleeves on my left arm. To my surprise, the mark wasn't on my wrist. However, farther up my arm was the skull, but it was larger and darker. All that was missing was the snakes. Unable to look away, I stared at it, transfixed, until it was burning into my eyes, then my eyelids when I squeezed them shut. I'd been one step away from becoming just like Bellatrix, and one step away from her killing me. But why had Draco done it, why did he tell her the truth, especially after looking at me the way he did? Why was he playing both sides? _You already know that._ My mind told me silently, and I felt my eyes prick with tears. He was playing both sides because I'd let him play me. I'd trusted him too easily, assumed that sine he had seriously confided in me, he would side with the Order. "Sarah," Sirius said quietly, and he laid a hand on my shoulder. Choking back a sob, I let him embrace me, crying half from pain, half from sorrow.


	29. Chapter 29

29

Sarah POV

"You're ok now, you're fine," Sirius murmured into my bloody hair as I trembled, still biting back sobs, clinging to him for dear life. After what seemed like half and hour I pulled away, nearly slumping over in exhaustion before I caught myself.

"She tried to make me do it," I choked, hastily wiping at my eyes, a bandage wrapped around my hand and wrist soaking up the moisture. "Bellatrix was in my head, I couldn't do anything, and she tried to make me kill him." I looked up to see Sirius change instantly from sad to furious.

"Did she make you do it?" He asked quietly, and I shook my head, taking a deep breath and looking away, unable to look at him any longer. Over and over again I could feel myself walking forward, wand arm rising; totally out of control. It made me shudder, to think of what would have happened if I hadn't been strong enough to fight her off. For a long time we sat in silence, me sniffing occasionally and mopping off my face, trying to get out of my haze of pain and exhaustion, trying to shake the memories. Each time I dabbed my face dry, blood came off. Madam Pompfrey hadn't healed the cuts yet- she was so busy with others.

"Why aren't you below with everyone else?" I asked finally, my voice almost gone from screaming and crying. It was hoarse, raw. Sirius blinked, as if emerging from a dream and looked at me.

"I can't stand death," he said quietly. Unsure of what to say, I leaned back on the pillows, wincing and gasping when I let all my weight be supported. Bellatrix's cuts weren't healed yet, and they were still stinging, open wounds. Sirius looked at me sharply, hearing my gasp of pain. "I'll get Madam Pompfrey," he said, going to get up, the furious look on his face again.

"I'm fine-" I insisted, but the doors to the Hospital Wing opened, interrupting us. Luna was helping Neville along, who looked like he had the flu. Two men I didn't know were carrying Bill Weasley inbetween them. Bill looked like he'd been mauled by a bear, his face was covered in gashes and cuts. My friends were following them. Hermione and Ron were leaning on each other, both of them with red eyes. Harry looked like a walking Inferi, minus the blood and gore. His grief looked like it was beyond words.

"Sarah-" Hermione whimpered, and broke away from Ron, dashing over and embracing me, making me inhale sharply as she tightened her grip. "We saw you but we couldn't help you-" she ranted until Ron pried her off, looking just as concerned. The look on his face made me quickly look away, glad for once that hair was hanging out of my braid and hiding my face.

"Are you ok?" Harry and Ron asked at the same time as Bill and Neville went past.

"What happened?" I dodged their question, my eyes following Bill and Neville, worried yet exhausted, trying to remember parts of the night that were escaping from my memory. Everything was fuzzy. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my friends exchange glances at the sound of my voice.

"Fenrir Greyback got to Bill, and Neville tried to get past the barrier blocking the stairs." Ron explained in a flat voice, and I instantly looked into my lap, trying to keep myself from crying. This was my fault. If Dumbledore had prepared for this, if he didn't think that Draco wouldn't do it, then maybe, _maybe_ Bill wouldn't be injured, Neville wouldn't be hurt, and I wouldn't have almost been made a Death Eater. "Sarah, are you ok?" Ron pressed when I didn't say anything or look up. Unable to say it out loud, I flipped my left arm over, the tattered remains of my sleeves flopping open, the top of my torn shirt sliding down my shoulder with the movement, revealing more cuts. Hermione almost shrieked and I heard the boys gasp as they saw what Bellatrix had done to the mark.

"Oh, _Sarah."_ Hermione whimpered finally as I slowly turned it back over, burning with shame. I stared at the blankets, realizing now that my friends deserved the truth. At this point, I didn't think that I could feel or look any worse in their eyes, and that if I could tell them now, I might be able to tell them more about the future, something I'd wanted to do for the whole year.

"I knew this was going to happen all year long. I knew Dumbledore was going to die, and that it was Malfoy's job to let the Death Eaters in and then kill Dumbledore. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I couldn't tell you-" I hiccupped a sob, hating myself more and more with every passing second. Everything I'd been holding back all year, all the fear and injustice of it all had arrived and I couldn't handle it. Dumbledore had been wrong, I wasn't strong enough to do this, and I couldn't do what he wanted. It should've been me who was murdered this year, not him. I was a horrible, _horrible _person. "And he _promised_ me," I cried, my voice breaking on the word 'promised'. "We confided in each other- trusted each other- and he-" Sobbing unashamedly now, I buried my face in my hands, cuts burning in the salty tears. My friends let me cry, and I didn't blame them- I'd lied for the whole year. When I got a hold of myself and finally looked up, my friends were looking at me sadly; not mad, like they should've been. "I'm sorry," I croaked, dabbing tears and a bit of blood off my face, looking away.

"Sarah, it's ok." Harry said quietly. "No one blames you. We knew something was wrong at the beginning of the year. It's ok."

"Really. Harry suspected that Dumbledore had given you a mission." Hermione added. Looking back at my friends concerned but understanding faces, I felt even more worthless. They shouldn't have accepted this- they should've been angry, they should hate me.

"What happened?" I asked softly after another moment, glancing again at Bill and closing my eyes, feeling sick at how much hurt I'd inadvertently caused.

"I think we'd all like to know." Lupin's voice came from the top of the ward, and he and Tonks were quickly walking down to us, both of them obviously still grieving. Coming over, they pulled up chairs next to Sirius and sat down heavily. "Are you feeling alright?" Lupin asked, looking at me then back away. I obviously still looked like hell, and all of them were wondering how I'd been possessed and how I'd gotten out of it.

"Well…Ron, Sarah and I were just sitting in the Common Room, Harry was with Dumbledore, and…" Hermione looked at me hesitantly, unsure of how to continue. Deciding to just let it all out, I spoke up, even though I didn't look up.

"I knew instantly when the Death Eaters were in the castle. Bellatrix attacked me as soon as she could. With all of them here, I didn't have a chance against her, and she possessed me. I was conscious of what she was making me do the whole time." I barely spoke, but I knew everyone heard me because of their reactions. Tonks said some very not nice things at almost the top of her voice, Sirius and Lupin stiffened, and my friends shifted, uncomfortable. I wasn't about to describe what it was like- they'd had a general idea.

"Erm, well, Sarah had warned us to get you guys right before her seizure, so I went to do that. On our way through the castle, we saw you. I called out to you, but you didn't respond, so I knew something was wrong. We went after you." Ron told me, and I gave him a weak smile. If it wasn't for him seeing me, the Order might not have found the Death Eaters.

"I got the remainder of D-Dumbledore's Army together to help." Hermione tripped over his name, one of her hands tightly holding one of Ron's. "But once Bellatrix put up that wall, we couldn't see what was happening up there." Hermione's voice got fainter, and Ron gave her a light squeeze.

"Malfoy cornered Dumbledore at the top of the Astronomy Tower. I was there, under the Invisibility Cloak- but Immobilized." Harry said, his voice like ice. I saw him glance at me, and I realized with a jolt that he'd seen everything. "He said that he let the Death Eaters into the school through the Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement." Staring at the blankets, I listened bitterly as Harry described how Draco was too afraid to kill Dumbledore and how Bellatrix tried to make me do it. As he spoke, I only got angrier at myself for trusting Malfoy. He was one hell of an actor. I'd only got one thing right about him- he was a damn coward.

"What happened on the grounds, Sarah?" Tonks asked, voice quiet but full of authority; she was in Auror mode. As if waking from a dream, I slowly looked up at her, unwilling to speak but knew I had to.

"It was her intent to take me with her, wherever they were going." I started, voice cracking. "But she stopped to get her revenge." Smiling bitterly, I looked out the window. The sun was rising over the grounds, shedding light on the scene for me when all I wanted to do was forget it. "Then she started to change the mark into a Dark Mark."

"I heard that, I was there, but farther away, trying to catch Snape." Harry's voice was strained, obviously remembering it. "Why didn't she finish it?" He asked, his thoughts catching up to him, and I tensed.

"Malfoy told her I was a Mudblood right before she did it. Bellatrix freaked out and did this." I gestured to my face, the cuts, struggling to keep my voice neutral.

"I'm going to kill him." Ron snarled, going to stand up, but Hermione yanked him back down.

"That's enough, shoo!" Madam Pompfrey suddenly appeared, her nose still red from crying, forcing everyone to scatter. She yanked the curtains shut almost viciously, then crossed to me. She worked in heavy silence- she was obviously transferring her grief into her profession. "Hold still, if you can. This won't be pleasant." She said stiffly, after helping me out of bed. Then she started finding every single cut and healing it as best she could. Every once and awhile, I hissed in pain as they closed or got smaller. After what seemed like forever, she let me sit to work on my face. There were only three cuts on my face, but they were huge. One started on the left side of my forehead, going all the way across it and my right eyebrow, ending at my hair line. The second started on the left side of my chin, cut across my lip and crossed with the first cut. The third was on my right cheek, straight across the cheekbone. Madam Pompfrey healed the ones that intersected, but after trying and failing, left the one on my cheekbone alone. "There, that's the best I can do. Here," she pushed two bottles of potions in my hands rather brusquely, "this is for pain, that one to help you sleep." And then she was gone, pressing a handkerchief to her mouth as she almost ran into her office. I picked up my wand, putting it into the waist band of my jeans considering the pocket in my robe was slashed, then pulled back the curtain.

"Aren't you staying here?" Lupin asked in surprise.

"No," I said firmly as I could, pushing up my shirt and robe as it slid down my shoulder again, fatigued.

"But, Sarah-" Harry started, then shut up, seeing the look I gave him.

"I'm leaving, that's final." I continued, sounding detached, even to myself. Trying not to limp as much as I wanted to, I left the Hospital Wing alone. Shuffling through the corridors of Hogwarts, I tried very hard not to cry. How could I have let myself be so _stupid?!_ Thinking back on it, the relaxed conversations, the occasional hug, how he helped me through a seizure or two…it'd felt real. It had felt as natural as when I was with Harry, Ron and Hermione. Reaching Gryffindor Tower, I passed through the crowded Common Room without a word, wincing repeatedly as I went up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. Stopping at my trunk, I got a new set of clothes and dropped off the two potions, then went immediately to the showers. It wasn't hard to take off my robes and shirt- they were so torn I could've torn them off. As I dumped my pants on the floor, they _crinkled._ Pausing, hand still on the shower curtain, I turned back around, picking my pants back up. Fishing around in the pocket, I pulled out a letter of all things, stained with my own blood.

_Mind fuzzy, I barely registered someone tucking something into my pocket. It crinkled, like paper. "I'm sorry," a familiar voice breathed, sounding anguished, and a cold hand lightly took the side of my face, a thumb brushing over part of my lip and my jaw before it vanished-_

My hand clenched around the envelope, crushing the paper a little as I realized it was from Malfoy. Standing there, halfway in the shower, glaring at the envelope, I fought with myself. _You should burn it on the spot._ The fiercely angry side of my brain insisted, and I stepped slowly out of the shower, Summoning my robe and putting it on, turning the letter over and over in my hands. _You should at least see what it says._ The calmer side reasoned. Setting down my wand, I flicked open the seal with my thumbnail and pulled out the letter.


	30. Chapter 30

30

Draco POV

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I stared at my hand. I could see the ridges in my thumb clearly; they were outlined by a large red stain that extended from my thumb print to the palm of my hand. Sarah hadn't been lying, her blood wasn't brown; it was definitely red. Thinking about her made my heart clench. I'd promised her that I wouldn't do it. _What was I thinking? _It'd been a promise I knew I couldn't keep. If I didn't have to worry about my family I would've joined her in a heartbeat. But it wasn't just about me- it never had been. Desperate for a way out, for friendship, I'd pushed those thoughts aside and selfishly made her trust me. Eyes tightening, I continued to stare at the blood, remembering how she'd been trembling, how her hot blood had come forth from her skin, staining mine. Was she recovered yet? Would she _ever_ recover? Would she even read my letter?

Restless, I got up and paced around and around my room, holding my stained hand by the wrist to force myself to look at the blood. Right before I'd let the Death Eaters in, I'd sat in our chair, writing the letter without a clue why. I didn't know that I'd have a chance to give it to her, I didn't know if I'd ever see her again. Despite that, I'd poured in my heart, my thoughts, the truth, into that letter. My main intention after writing it was to leave it in the room. It was clear betrayal against the Dark Lord, but I found that I didn't care. Angry at the world for the position I was in, I'd tucked it into my jacket pocket and let them in, only thinking about who I'd be hurting the whole time. When I'd had Dumbledore cornered, I couldn't focus on him, and there was no way I could kill him. And then she'd appeared, following Bellatrix meekly. At first I thought she was there under her own steam- until I'd seen her eyes, then, I couldn't look away if I'd wanted to. They had turned a terrible, unnatural coal black; lifeless and blank. The longer I'd look, searching all the more frantically for the spark of life that was usually there, the longer I was denied. Horrible comprehension had hit me then- she was possessed, like she'd mentioned briefly about her summer. Fear had exploded in my stomach-_she wasn't supposed to be there! _Only increasing my horror, I watched as she had walked forward in a stiff, jerky fashion, as if somewhere inside she was fighting back. Bellatrix had told her to kill Dumbledore in my stead, and it looked as if she was going to do it. But then I'd noticed her face tightening, and Bellatrix beside me shaking. My heart had leapt into my throat when she'd turned fluidly, raising her shaking arm fully to cast a shield charm. As quickly as she'd gained freedom, Bellatrix stole it away.

Fleeing the castle, Snape's hand clenched tight around my collar, I glanced as often as I could at Sarah, at those terrible dark eyes, but no trace of her was left. Dreadful thoughts swarmed through my head as I watched her. I could easily envision her in front of the Dark Lord, kissing his robes, becoming the thing she hated the most. My expectation that the Order would pursue us fell through, and that's when I thought for sure that Sarah would be forced to come with us. Instead, Bellatrix had stopped on the grounds for revenge. Standing next to Snape as he looked at the castle, looking for opposition, I heard the worst sound in the world- Sarah screaming. Bellatrix was sadistic, and Sarah had done her wrong, the torture could last for hours. To make matters worse, when Potter confronted Snape, he pushed me towards Bellatrix, towards Sarah. As I'd hovered over her, barely even realizing that Bellatrix was pushing back her left sleeve, her eyes met mine. I'd never seen her so angry, so accusing. Her gaze went through every part of me; it made me burn with shame. The fiery look vanished as her eyes squeezed shut; Bellatrix had found the mark. Before I could object, Bellatrix pointed her wand at it. The effect was instantaneous. The shrieks from Sarah were worse than any I'd heard before, even the ones I'd heard echoing through my house as the Dark Lord punished his followers. The mark was traveling up her arm by an unseen force with an agonizingly slow pace. Sick to the core, Bellatrix started to instruct me on how to ruin Sarah forever, enlarging the skull to the size on my forearm. I couldn't watch the mark, I could only see Sarah, writhing, arching and trembling. The terrible pain she was feeling was my fault. "Now, for the final touch." Bellatrix had said, raising her wand to complete the image. Before I could stop myself, I objected, then told the truth; that Sarah was Muggleborn.

I'd only meant to help Sarah, but I had the opposite effect. Bellatrix started slashing with her wand, deep cuts appearing everywhere she touched, screaming incoherently in anger. I felt my eyes widen in shock as she raised her wand, ready to kill her- "Bellatrix!" Snape had called sharply, pulling her away as Order members started to swarm out of the doors. He yanked her away, into the forest. With that tiny moment, I'd touched her face, wiped away blood, hating myself to a point where I'd rather stay and be sent to Azkaban for it. "I'm sorry," I'd whispered, sticking the letter in her pocket, panicking when I saw how much blood she was losing. Unable to stay, I'd left, like the coward I was, passing Potter, who was on the ground, Immobilized and panting from his efforts to get up. Abruptly stopping my pacing, I turned on my heel and went into the bathroom, reaching for the faucet. As water flowed down the drain, I looked at my hand, willing myself to wash her blood away, to let her go on her own path, to keep myself from selfishly trying to have her save me again. "I'm sorry," I whispered again, to myself, and put my hand into the water, watching as the last trace of her went down the drain.

Harry POV

As Sarah left, Tonks, Lupin and Sirius immediately launched into a heated discussion about her, about how she'd need protecting, about how someone needed to talk to her. They threw around the words 'mentally distressed' and 'psychologically scarred'. It made me sick, thinking about how I'd seen her walking forward, so disembodied, to kill Dumbledore. It was chilling to think about the consequences if Sarah hadn't been able to fight her off. The more I thought about Dumbledore and Sarah, the angrier I became at him. He'd told her everything about how this year was going to end and then made her keep it a secret. All year we'd watched her suffer, fighting with what she wanted to tell us and the iron promises she'd been forced to make. It all went back to Bellatrix and the end of last year. Everything that hurt Sarah came from her, from Death Eaters. Most importantly, it came from Voldemort. If I'd been scared before to face Voldemort, I wasn't now. The reasons were pilling up for me to destroy him for good, reasons that made me burn with anger, with sadness, with determination.

"I'll go talk to her," I heard myself say, and I turned and left without another word, trying not to think about how sad and scary the future was going to be. Dumbledore's funeral would be tomorrow. I'd have to leave Ginny for good. It was up to me now to hunt down Horcruxes, a 17 year old wizard of average strength with only his friends to help him. We'd be hunted until the very end, and our chances for success were so slim. Without thinking about much of it, I headed for the girls' staircase, and to my surprise, it let me go up. I knocked before going in, just in case. Sarah was sitting on the edge of her bed, turning a potion bottle around in her hand. "Hey," I said quietly, and she looked up, cracked a ghostly smile, then looked down at the bottle once more.

"I was expecting someone else." She said quietly, and I resisted the urge to wince at the sound of her voice. It was still raw and broken.

"I'll leave, if you want someone else." I offered, and she shook her head, smiling bitterly, but patted the bed next to her. I went over and sat next to her. Up close, Sarah looked even worse. The gash on her cheek drew the eye to the growing bags under her eyes- she hadn't rested yet after being tortured and possessed. Her skin was white again, like last year. The only thing about her that seemed normal was the braid that snaked down to her waist, like a hornet's stinger. With a jolt, I remembered how she'd sounded on the grounds when Bellatrix was enhancing the mark- it was like she'd been in the same pain I'd felt with Voldemort in the graveyard, something I hadn't been able to convey to anyone. If she had been hurt that badly, I knew that it would take her awhile to talk about it.

"I want to apologize for this year. You were right the whole time and I kept putting you down." She interrupted my thoughts, but I was already shaking my head.

"I tell you every time that the blame is mine, but you never listen." I said forcefully. Sarah stopped spinning the bottle, and I saw that it was the Sleeping Potion she was supposed to take.

"Third time's the charm, huh?" She said and chuckled weakly. Deciding to do away with the pretense of me just visiting, I got right to the point.

"Sarah, you know what my future entails. I want your help, but I also want to keep you safe; you can't deny that you're in danger now." I tacked on, seeing her eyes flash, clearly ready to shout at me if I gave her a 'you can't come with because you're too fragile' speech. "You and I both know that the only way you'll be safe is if you stay with Hermione, Ron and I. The Order, on the other hand, doesn't think that's wise." I said, and she put her forearms on her knees, winced, and then moved her arms off, balancing her elbows on her knees instead. Fixing her eyes on the opposite wall, Sarah didn't say anything for a minute.

"Dumbledore wanted me to stay with you, so I will. If the Order thinks I can't do it, I'll prove them wrong." She said, her voice sure and stronger than it had been just seconds before. Clapping a hand on her shoulder, I stood up.

"You should take that," I said after another pause, nodding to the potion in her hands. Sarah ran her fingers over the cork, but didn't open it. "Sarah, you can tell me anything whenever. You know that, right?" I said, not taking my eyes off her. She smiled sadly again to the vial and yanked out the stopper with a vicious motion. Sensing her sudden discomfort, I left silently, holding the door a second longer on my way out to see her take the potion like a shot, face falling into misery. I didn't see Sarah until the next day when Ron and I met her and Hermione in the Common Room before Dumbledore's funeral. Compared to the day before, Sarah had changed drastically. Her face was a blank, white slate; an emotionless mask. Unsure of how to make her feel better or even talk to her, the group of us was very quiet. During the funeral, all I could think about was Dumbledore and the immense task he'd left me. It was only after the funeral was over did I realize that Sarah had left, for she was just returning to the crowd when the funeral ended. I didn't ask, and she didn't tell. Instead, we walked out to a private spot on the grounds.

"So what now?" Hermione whispered at last as we sank down under a beech tree on the shores of the lake.

"I hunt down the Horcruxes," I responded almost instantly, keeping my eyes on the horizon. "I'm not coming back to Hogwarts next year," I added, seeing Hermione and Ron's confusion.

"Then I guess we're coming with you, mate." Ron said, and I looked quickly at the two of them.

"Yes, Harry, you know you can't do this alone. You need us. All of us." Hermione said, her voice gaining strength, seeing me getting ready to object.

"Besides, you can't stay at Privet Drive forever." Sarah added softly, running her fingers through the soft grass.

"Mum will want you over during the summer, at least." Ron threw more support on the pile. "For Bill and Fleur's wedding." He elaborated, seeing my confusion.

"Can't miss that," I said finally, unsure of what to say otherwise.

"Where will you go, Hermione?" Ron asked, and Hermione's eyes quickly looked down.

"I'll go home for awhile, but then I'll have to go to the Burrow. I'll have to modify my parent's memories- to keep them safe." She said, her voice brittle.

"Oh," Sarah said suddenly, sitting up straight against the tree. "I'll have to do the same thing." She said, her voice getting harder with each word.

"Is that really necessary?" I asked, aghast. The sacrifices my friends would have to make to help me were huge, something I hadn't thought about until now.

"I'm afraid so. We can always remove the charm after the war is over." Sarah continued for Hermione, who seemed unable to speak.

"And where will you go?" Hermione asked Sarah finally after swallowing a few times, trying not to cry. Ron put an arm around Hermione and gave her a tiny squeeze.

"That's the question, isn't it?" Sarah muttered, ripping out a handful of grass as she spoke. "I'll be tracked down, I'm sure, so probably under the Order's protection." She said it casually, lightly, as if we were discussing this in the Three Broomsticks over butter beers.

"Well, your trace is gone, so you're pretty much set, eh?" Ron asked, and she nodded absentmindedly, arranging the grass in a neat pile. We sat there, under the beech tree until all the crowds were gone and a peaceful spirit fell over the grounds. It felt odd, like the calm before the storm, as if we were set up for something huge that wasn't here yet…

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><p><strong>AN: There you have it, the end of Part II of Sarah Wimkil's Story! Don't worry, Part III will be up soon, called 'Shot in the Dark', and will take Sarah's story to its completion. Thanks to everyone who has kept reading this far- Part III is for every single one of you. :)**

**bitchinblackframedglasses **


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